An example of a wedding agenda

I've had it all sorts of ways....

Entrance, Cake, toast Dance
Entrance, Dance, Break, FD, break, MS, Garter, Boquet, no money dance

Entrance, pray, eat,

Entrance, eat, dance

Entrance, trip and fall

No entrance, no dance, just drink


Drink, maybe dance, screw the cake we don't care, pray, eay, pray again, 20 toasts



IT DOESN'T MATTER.

All things are on the table.

OK here is my agenda:

Step One: Meet with client

Step Two: Detremine if client's need/desires match my capacity, proficiency, and wilingness.

Step Three: Plan

Step Four: Perform

GoodKnightDJ said:

Making the agenda is part of planning.

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Details schmetails!

From: GoodKnightDJ: I also encourage the use of the anniversary dance to replace the garter and bouquet toss. In that we get all the married couples dancing to something slow and then use a process of elimination to find the longest married couple. When we do the B&G give them the garter and bouquette and the wining couple gives the B&G advice on longevity of marriage.

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This is one way of doing the anniversary dance dance just amazes me that a DJ would fill the floor with couples dancing and then punish them for being married by having them leave the full dance floor. THe DJ has a full dance floor and intentionally empties it. UNBELEIVABLE!:sqerr:

I suggest this method for the annivesary dance:

1. Start by announcing what the anniversary dance is and that you are honoring those that are a progressive example of lasting and loving marriages.

2. As you say the different time frames and couples have been married that much time or less, join us on the dance floor.

3. So, "if you've been married 5 hours or less join us on the dance floor." (Ususally gets a big chuckle amd applause)

4. Then go 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10, 15, 20, 25 years (couples on the floor will usually pause and applaude with the other guests starting at 25 and up)

5. Once you get up in the years decrease the number gaps. You'll have a pretty good idea of who the longest married couple are from the B & G. ONce you get to the longest married couple keep the music going at a lower level and have the B & G move over to the couple, Ask the longest married couple's names and how long they've been married and let everyone know. Ask them if they have any advice for the B & G, then say on the mic "because you are such a fine example of long lasting and loving marriage (names of B & G) would like to give you a small token of thanks for being the example for them."

6. Turn the music back up and play 2 more slow songs.

7. When the music goes back up to regular volume invite everyone to bring that special someone to the dance floor to share a dance with (B & G) on their wedding day.

8. you now have a packed dance floor. In 2 songs start the fun dancing. because you have a packed dance floor.

9. Go figure a DJ with a packed dance floor when they start the open dancing.



Just one guys opinion and it works REALLY well.

I don't let them leave the dance floor. I ask them to move to the edge so we have a circle surrounding the longest married couple then have everyone rejoin them on the floor for the last part of the song.

The best part of it all is when the guests stop and applaude the 25 year and up. I let my B&G clients know that it's a very special moment created for all of the guests and a grewat way to let their guests be a special part of their wedding day.

I challenge anyone to cite an actual source (religious or cultural) indicating that dancing is prohibited prior to the Brides first dance with the groom. (Execpting for monarchs, in which all actions require permission.)

What many think is "tradition" is just an unwitting extension of presumed "politeness."

Just as you might let the brithday girl have the first slice of cake - you then presume that the dance foor should be just as much a vrigin as the bride.

Not so. The purpose of the reception is to thank and entertain guests - not put on a show, therefore the "stage" or dance floor belongs to the guests - not the Bride.

The first dance of a Bride and Groom is one worthy of special notice (and would precede other dances of note) - but it is not the purpose for which the dance floor is installed.

Proformance said:

I challenge anyone to cite an actual source (religious or cultural) indicating that dancing is prohibited prior to the Brides first dance with the groom. (Execpting for monarchs, in which all actions require permission.)

What many think is "tradition" is just an unwitting extension of presumed "politeness."

Just as you might let the brithday girl have the first slice of cake - you then presume that the dance foor should be just as much a vrigin as the bride.

Not so. The purpose of the reception is to thank and entertain guests - not put on a show, therefore the "stage" or dance floor belongs to the guests - not the Bride.

The first dance of a Bride and Groom is one worthy of special notice (and would precede other dances of note) - but it is not the purpose for which the dance floor is installed.

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I don't recall anyone here using the term "prohibit from dancing", but it is an implied tradition, etiquette, respect, observance, opinion, for some that the wedding couple should be the first to dance. This day is all about the couple (the bride mostly) and many of them want to be the first to dance. This dancing etiquette along with many other traditions has diminished over the years as couple have done away with many of the formalities, but it is appropriated to have the couple open the dance floor with their first dance.

They way I see it, it's not about what I believe but what the couple finds to be important to them. If a bride wants to feel so important that she knows this day is all about her then why not tell her, out of respect, guests will be waiting for her first dance for they dance. Of course I also don't see any bride taking a nutty if the guests happen to start dancing because she decided to wait until after dinner for her first dance.


After doing some research I have found may sites that explain "first dance". Which means first dance of the event. Here's one explanation from Wikipedia:

In the context of balls, the term "first dance" has two meanings.

At various formal balls the first dance was usually performed by a couple which included a person of highest social position in a given context: the Emperor or King, a prince, etc. Their dance was the opening of the ball. Private balls were traditionally opened by the host or hostess.

The "first dance" of a bride and groom is an important component of the wedding ceremony in modern European and American traditions.

Traditionally, the first wedding dance has been Waltz. In modern times ballroom dancing is no longer a widespread skill, and rehearsing the "first dance" has become a lucrative business for dance studios and independent dance instructors. Today more popular dances include the foxtrot, merengue, and swing. Alternatively, many couples just do a "slow dance".




And another site quotes:

Traditional etiquette, according to Diane Warner’s Contemporary Guide to Wedding Etiquette, says dancing isn’t required but if you have dancing, here is the traditional dance order for a wedding reception:

The bride and groom dance the first dance, usually to their favorite song
The bride dances with her father
The groom dances with his mother
The bride dances with her new father-in-law and the groom dances with his new mother-in-law
The bride dances with the best man, and the groom dances with the bride’s honor attendant
The bridesmaids and groomsmen join in, dancing with each other
All the guests join those already dancing

I have found may more sites that set the tradition or etiquette of dancing at a wedding reception as the Bride and Groom first. Do any of these say specifically that guest should not or are prohibited from dancing before the B&G? No, they do not. But they do set the order by which tradition tells us how it use to be. Do any of our weddings stick this close to tradition? Not mine.

Just thought I'd share.

And now we beleive wikipedia? What is this world coming to. lol

According to the Peggy Post the first dance is a social occurance at a wedding reception as an additional acknowledgment of the couple joining as one.

It isn't required by etiquette, it's just a social expectation.

So, it depneds on your social group, I guess.

Ken Day said:

And now we beleive wikipedia? What is this world coming to. lol

According to the Peggy Post the first dance is a social occurance at a wedding reception as an additional acknowledgment of the couple joining as one.

It isn't required by etiquette, it's just a social expectation.

So, it depneds on your social group, I guess.

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And now we're believing Peggy Post? Does it really matter? No, it only matters between you and your client. What you can do to make her feel special is what matters. If a certain area socially expects that it's etiquette not to dance before the bride does it matter? If a certain social group believes "who cares about the bride, I came here to dance", does it matter? I think not. What is done in certain parts of the country is not performed the same as it is in MA. But does it matter? Not to my brides.

I'm just telling you that you have bought into a FALSE sense of etiquette.

There is NO REASON anyone needs to wait for the Bride & Groom to dance before you using the dance floor. If that were the case - no one would waste money on a band for the cocktail hour.

The party starts the moment the guests arrive - that's why you're there! If if was all about the bride and groom then you'd be playing along side the photgrapher while we all watch them have their pictures taken.

But, you're not - you're with the guests and the dance floor keeping them entertained and if they so choose - dancing!

Consider the logic of "killing time" with background music until the B&G dance. How polite is that?

I choose curtain number 3. It is all about choice, whomever is making the decision.

Proformance said:

I challenge anyone to cite an actual source (religious or cultural) indicating that dancing is prohibited prior to the Brides first dance with the groom. (Execpting for monarchs, in which all actions require permission.)

What many think is "tradition" is just an unwitting extension of presumed "politeness."

Just as you might let the brithday girl have the first slice of cake - you then presume that the dance foor should be just as much a vrigin as the bride.

Not so. The purpose of the reception is to thank and entertain guests - not put on a show, therefore the "stage" or dance floor belongs to the guests - not the Bride.

The first dance of a Bride and Groom is one worthy of special notice (and would precede other dances of note) - but it is not the purpose for which the dance floor is installed.

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Not that I disagree with you, but can you cite an actual source (either religious or cultural) that supports what you stated?

So if the B&G just elope or get married by a JP, it's all about them. If they have a reception, it's all about the guests.

I'm just telling you that you have bought into a FALSE sense of etiquette.

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Respectfully so, that's just your opinion. I've brought nothing but choice and reason. It you personally it's false, to some brides it's the way they want it. The brides win.

How many DJ's here have people dancing during cocktail time? Which around here is the first hour of the wedding reception. And since 99% of my weddings have the bride and groom do their first dance upon their introductions, nobody is waiting to long to dance.

Again, I'm not defending anyones way of running a reception. You stated that there was no such tradition or etiquette. I know there is and always has been. It's not followed much any longer and with good reasons. You've listed many of them which I agree with. But just as there are traditions of a dollar dance, garter and bouquet, etc it becomes the choice of the couple. I personally like the weddings who just say "I Do" then party. But that's me, I'm not the one getting married.

And since this has been going on for decades, I'd guess it is cultural or part of etiquette at this point. Not like I would stop someone from dancing during cocktail hour if so moved, but I will smack fingers if you hit the buffet before the B&G.