An example of a wedding agenda

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Well i cant see many example wedding agenda's posted - looks likes no one knows what they are talking about then

oh well for the ones that have , good one for you...
at least its not all hot air we are seeing
 
Proformance said:
I'm just telling you that you have bought into a FALSE sense of etiquette.

There is NO REASON anyone needs to wait for the Bride & Groom to dance before you using the dance floor. If that were the case - no one would waste money on a band for the cocktail hour.

The party starts the moment the guests arrive - that's why you're there! If if was all about the bride and groom then you'd be playing along side the photgrapher while we all watch them have their pictures taken.

But, you're not - you're with the guests and the dance floor keeping them entertained and if they so choose - dancing!

Consider the logic of "killing time" with background music until the B&G dance. How polite is that?
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so then a BRIDE and GROOM want people to dance when they have the so called first dance AFTER the main meal, then say if a couple gets up, now EVERYONE looks at them strangely and eventually they sit down again, because they wasnt suppose to dance untill the bridal waltz...

what do you do then ?

I go with whats on the wedding agenda and how they wanted it planed
 
Not that I disagree with you, but can you cite an actual source (either religious or cultural) that supports what you stated?
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LOL. Good question.
Can you show me the rule that was never written?
 
Dennis,

What everyone is saying is that there is no specific wedding agenda these days. Most traditions, etiquette, whatever, are regional formats. Some formalities are structured for the Bride and Groom, they way they want things to happen. Some are even structured for the convenience of the venue. While others are just not structure at all.

Here is the agenda that is mostly followed in Central Mass.

Intro of wedding party
Intro of Bride and Groom
Bride and Groom share first dance upon entering ballroom
Immediately after the first dance the couple and wedding part go to their seats.
A blessing or grace is given (only if the couple wants one. If they choose not to, Tom will not be their DJ:sqwink:)
While guest are still standing a toast is given by the Best Man and or Maid of Honor.
Everyone sits for dinner.
Wedding cake is cut after first or second course (soup or salad). If it's a buffet then cake will wait until after dinner.
At the conclusion of dinner Bride and Groom are introduced to the dance floor and begin dancing. Best man and Maid of honor join in, then the rest of the wedding party to follow. In some cases the parents will join in on the wedding party dance.
Immediately after the wedding party dance is the Bride and Father then Groom and Mother dance.
Next comes the Bouquet and Garter.
Lastly before the open dancing begins this is a good time to giveaway center pieces.

That's it, a simple agenda. Every wedding is different, even within my area. Some of the above are sometimes excluded for the agenda for many different personal reason of the couple.

Hope this helps.
 
Can you show me the rule that was never written?
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Which rule would that be?

No one has said it was a rule. There is no exact to any wedding, just respect to the couple and to their traditions (family, heritage, culture, etc.) Traditions, etiquette, etc are not rules just guidelines of things that have been handed down.

Be unique and create your own traditions. Amaze your clients, stand out, do something different. Todays brides will appreciate that. I've had brides that have told me "I just want my guest to have fun. Let them dance whenever they want". I've also had venues who get upset when guests dance during dinner. Sometimes you just can't stop the music. But just so you know I presented no "false" statements. As you can see below, many people believe in the old traditions of the Bride and Groom are the ones to open the dancing at their wedding. The bride and grooms first dance is to be done before the guests dance. That's way I find it best to do this early on in the evening.



The Wedding Dance

Dancing at your reception is a lovely way to bring an air of elegance and family togetherness to a wonderfully happy and joyous occasion.

Traditionally, the bride and groom will be the first to dance as their special song is played softly. Lights dimmed low create a romantic atmosphere.
http://www.ourmarriage.com/html/the_wedding_dance.html

Dance Etiquette
The band or disc jockey will probably lead you during the reception by inviting various family members onto the dance floor, but it helps to know a little wedding reception dance etiquette in advance.

The bride and groom always have the first dance, which typically takes place after the initial announcements and speeches. Your DJ will invite you to the floor. The father of the bride will cut into the dance at some point, probably after a number of guests have snapped pictures of this very sweet moment. The groom graciously places the bride's hand into her father's hand; then the groom asks the bride's mother for a dance.
http://www.weddingclipart.com/guide/wedding-receptions/wedding-reception-dance.html


Can you give us a general timetable for all of the traditional reception rituals?
Q: My fiancé and I want to include all of the traditional rituals at our wedding reception. When should the special dances, the best man's toast, and the bouquet and garter tosses take place? —Salinas, California

A: Since you want to make sure that you don't forget any significant activity at your reception, it's a good idea to plan ahead. In fact, at least a week or two before your wedding, finalize a reception schedule of events with your maitre d", bandleader and wedding consultant (if you have one) so that all are aware of your arrangements and can plan accordingly.

Let's start with the special dances: The first dance between the bride and groom kicks off the dancing at the beginning of the reception, just after the wedding party has been announced (although you may also wait until after the meal has been served). Guests gather around as the couple dance to "their" song. The master of ceremonies or band leader will then ask your parents, your fiancé's parents and the rest of the wedding party to join in. Finally, the guests may also be invited onto the dance floor. http://www.bridalguide.com/etiquette-tradition/article.cfm?aID=992#RITUALORDER

Here's one from the UK:

If there was to be dancing, the bride and groom would lead the first dance with the best man and chief bridesmaid joining in half-way through. Finally, the bride and groom used always to leave before their guests, having first changed into their going-away outfits. Just before leaving, the bride would turn her back on the group and throw her bouquet over her shoulder. The single female who caught it would be the next bride.
http://www.howtobooks.co.uk/family/weddings/reception.asp
 
Dennis,

In my agenda I wrote it in the order that I think works the best, but have changed it many times for the client. I really don't care what order things are done in. I just want to have some frame work from which to start off the planning.

I am almost always asked what I think about the order of things. I always tell them that there are many ways to do it, but my preference is as the planning form is written. But, that my ideas don't compare to theirs. I want their wedding, not mine.

Does that help?

Bear in mind also that I live in So Cal, where traditions are almost non-existent. So, what they want is what goes.
 
having performed in most the Western Hemisphere over the yrs I have found so many ways. Especially in Vegas as folks arrive from all corners of the Earth. Honestly my opinion when asked would be to follow the Grand entrance with the first dance as a natural progression. I also find that cutting the cake as a photo op can be done as soon as the Bride and groom are done eating. The cake can then be distributed however they want. In BC they typically have dessert tables and I recommend that the cake should be part of that table or it likely wont be eaten as the guests have had a substantial meal and dessert. Ya pay big bucks for those wasteful displays of icing and filler ya might as well pawn some of it off. Yeah Cake is like a chocolate fountain FLUFF in my opinion but I do as the client wants.

Also though regionally typical a friend or family member usually MC's the event I typically get called upon 6 out of ten times as I do alot of pre game stuff to become a friend or family member. Questionairre and bios along with a relaxed conversation in person to get a feel for my couple has proven invaluable. I use the Anniversary dance and a goodnight song for my couple to thank personally each remaining guest. Usually avg of 75% of the original guests.
 
So Cal Hugh said:
Dennis,

In my agenda I wrote it in the order that I think works the best, but have changed it many times for the client. I really don't care what order things are done in. I just want to have some frame work from which to start off the planning.

I am almost always asked what I think about the order of things. I always tell them that there are many ways to do it, but my preference is as the planning form is written. But, that my ideas don't compare to theirs. I want their wedding, not mine.

Does that help?

Bear in mind also that I live in So Cal, where traditions are almost non-existent. So, what they want is what goes.
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no worries , its not a matter of how you do yours
but its others that DON'T post thiers so others can see what they do/use...
 
Ron Auger said:
While guest are still standing a toast is given by the Best Man and or Maid of Honor.
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Why keep them standing? Suppose the toast giver runs long? Do those in wheelchairs have to stand?

They can be seated in Maryland.
 
GoodKnightDJ said:
Why keep them standing? Suppose the toast giver runs long? Do those in wheelchairs have to stand?

They can be seated in Maryland.
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Well Dorthy, you're not in Maryland anymore. And to that response I can only say DUH!

I usually make them kneel.
 
Being first is an understood position of importance and honor and that is why the guests of honor are given the pole position.
 
Rox,
If you keep making sense in such short statements how will I ever learn sentence structure?:sqerr:
 
djsarge said:
When then I suppose our rules are just as valid as yours.
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No, You were simply asking me to prove a negative.

What I am addressing is this "phobia" that people seem to have about the dance floor prior to the Bride/Groom dance. It is not based on any solid tradition but is an outcome of the insecurity people have regarding protocol.

It's like not knowing which fork to use first from the place setting - people who aren't sure wait and see what someone else does.

As a DJ - your job is best performed when you REMOVE these delays and artificial barriers people erect for themselves. If you were sitting next to me waiting to eat your salad for want of knowing which fork to use - I would tell you which one is the salad fork.

I can do the same thing as the DJ - and find a subtles ways to let you know that your fear of dancing before the Bride arrives is unneccessary.

The DJ also needs to be vigilant not to be a BOTTLE NECK himself by adding your own fears and false sense of tradition or protocol. If you're playing Kenny G because you're waiting for the Bride when you could have people dancing to Cole Porter then you are cheating the client and the guests out of the better event.
 
Well, at least they aren't arguing over the blessing anymore. :sqerr::sqwink:
 
Proformance said:
No, You were simply asking me to prove a negative.

What I am addressing is this "phobia" that people seem to have about the dance floor prior to the Bride/Groom dance. It is not based on any solid tradition but is an outcome of the insecurity people have regarding protocol.

It's like not knowing which fork to use first from the place setting - people who aren't sure wait and see what someone else does.

As a DJ - your job is best performed when you REMOVE these delays and artificial barriers people erect for themselves. If you were sitting next to me waiting to eat your salad for want of knowing which fork to use - I would tell you which one is the salad fork.

I can do the same thing as the DJ - and find a subtles ways to let you know that your fear of dancing before the Bride arrives is unneccessary.

The DJ also needs to be vigilant not to be a BOTTLE NECK himself by adding your own fears and false sense of tradition or protocol. If you're playing Kenny G because you're waiting for the Bride when you could have people dancing to Cole Porter then you are cheating the client and the guests out of the better event.
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Again, you make great points that work for you but there is no right or wrong here this is merely your opinion.

You asked where it was written and I showed you. Traditions are passed on for many reasons and allowing the Bride and Groom to open the dancing but providing the "first dance" is a long standing tradition. But as with many people put them by the wayside and think of themselves first.

And since the Bride and Groom do not deserve proper protocol then why do formal introductions, cutting of the cake, dancing with their parents, etc?

Which fork to use doesn't really matter at the Elks hall wedding, but when you're holding an event at a five star facility wedding and dinning etiquette does play an intricate roll. But all this is designed by the couples themselves with the guidance of all the vendors. Opinion are given but the decisions are made by those who sign the contracts.



I'll ask again or maybe I should just do a poll.

Who has guests dancing at their weddings or events during cocktail time or prior to the formal introduction of the Bride and Groom?

I'm just curious.:sqwink:
 
Being first is an understood position of importance and honor and that is why the guests of honor are given the pole position.
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You're confusing the serving order (food) for the hospitaility as a whole.

There is a distinction to made between "guests" "honored guests" and "hosts." Playing more than one role requires some real balance.
 
Ron Auger said:
Who has guests dancing at their weddings or events during cocktail time or prior to the formal introduction of the Bride and Groom?

I'm just curious.:sqwink:
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Sorry Ron, I missed the question earlier.

It was not deliberate on my part but I have had guests dance during cocktails. The music caused it. The first dance had not happened but I'm not a dance floor or protocol Nazi so I let them enjoy themselves.

I've also had a few times where the first dance was scheduled after the meal and had some dancing to the toe tapper set I sometimes play in the last half of dinner. Again, I'm not a dance floor or protocol Nazi so i let it happen.

I have never had a bride or groom ask me to stop either of the above to date.
 
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