Event Pacing - The key to the "Magic" (blog)

[rickryan.com]

Bob you are a sad caracature.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk 4 Beta

 

[Scott Hanna]

OMG - You really are stupid, aren't you?

My apology if I am talking to a child - Mike, how old are you?

Houston,
It's posts like this that gives him his reputation.

 

[ahoustondj]

Houston,
It's posts like this that gives him his reputation.

What is the word "stupid"? It is merely a description not a derogatory word. We are adults here, if this is offensive to whom it is directed then let that person object and defend themselves. I don't think Mike needs a Guardian Angel. You have to look into the context of what was said and why. If someone is late to the thread and does not see the reason that brought along the post they would not understand. If you called up your utility company to complain about something and they kept repeating the same thing over and over to you it is quite possible you may have some choice names for that person or company. Again it is nothing more than descriptive not a derogatory attack. There is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect.

 

[Proformance]

Houston,
It's posts like this that gives him his reputation.

Help! Help! The bride's dad is in the bathroom... Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish guy! Help me Tom cruise!
Call 911... someone call a Disc Jockey!


LOL. Thank you, OurDJTalk for the chuckles.

 

[ahoustondj]

I was thinking about this yesterday while I was driving. If a child was in Kindergarten school and the teacher spoke loudly to one of the pupils and he started crying, then some of the others are triggered by the one child's crying, enough to make them also start crying.......does that mean the teacher is mean to the others as well? To go a bit farther, if one of the other children went home and said to their parents that the Teacher made him cry, is that a credible accusation? This is the kind of scenario that gets people unfairly labelled.

 

[mikemerlin]

Originally Posted by mikemerlin
I have done weddings where

-Venue said the were ready to cut the cake, no utensils

-Bride said Dad was ready to go but he was in the bathroom

-^^^^^Please address these scenarios and how you would avoid them. To say it doesn't apply is nonsensical. It APPLIES TO ANYONE WHO DOES WEDDINGS. If is a fact and not arbitrary.

Your post clearly illustrates you do not understand how weddings work. You are wrong and you and Houston's inability to clearly answer questions (such as above) prove you are wrong. Answers such as "it doesn't apply" is foolish as it applies to all weddings. That is a fact not an opinion.

OMG - You really are stupid, aren't you?

My apology if I am talking to a child - Mike, how old are you?

The reality is you nor Houston can answer a very simple question that ALL wedding DJ's face at one time or another because you don't have any answer.

Everyone here who does weddings regularly say that these types of things happen at weddings at one time or another.

It's a fact and easily verified if one actually was out and about doing weddings regularly.

In regards to being a child may I point out that it is you, not I, that has resorted to calling people names.

Also, do you do weddings on a regular basis Bob?

 

[ittigger]

What is the word "stupid"? It is merely a description not a derogatory word. We are adults here, if this is offensive to whom it is directed then let that person object and defend themselves. I don't think Mike needs a Guardian Angel. You have to look into the context of what was said and why. If someone is late to the thread and does not see the reason that brought along the post they would not understand. If you called up your utility company to complain about something and they kept repeating the same thing over and over to you it is quite possible you may have some choice names for that person or company. Again it is nothing more than descriptive not a derogatory attack. There is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect.

You are correct, there is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect .. and there is no room for disrespect within a direct dialogue. The very second you introduce disrespect, the conversation becomes a conflict and is no longer a direct dialogue / discussion.

While you may not consider it an attack, I think you lose any and all credibility and respect the very second you tell the utility company 'are you a special kind of stupid' - and I think that person will also take it as a derogatory attack. If you don't think so, try it. Call all of your providers and when they don't get what you're saying, say the crap you say here and see how far it gets you.

I was thinking about this yesterday while I was driving. If a child was in Kindergarten school and the teacher spoke loudly to one of the pupils and he started crying, then some of the others are triggered by the one child's crying, enough to make them also start crying.......does that mean the teacher is mean to the others as well? To go a bit farther, if one of the other children went home and said to their parents that the Teacher made him cry, is that a credible accusation? This is the kind of scenario that gets people unfairly labelled.

If this were the scenario, then I also guarantee you that in that same school, the teacher will NOT 'describe' anyone as stupid. The teacher is (or should be) smart enough to know that negative reinforcement rarely provides a positive benefit. The administration would also most likely have that teacher reassigned or removed. You are providing a negative environment which will do nothing to contribute nor does it help people move forward (in fact, it detracts). I can also guarantee you that at that moment, all other children (and quite possibly professional peers, parents and others) will most likely also lose respect for that 'teacher'.

If the child told their parent that the teacher made him / her cry, I'm sure that concerned parents WOULD investigate - because maybe the child is wrong, maybe not .. and it will be dealt with accordingly. If you are derogatory, disrespectful, condescending or inflammatory using what you call "descriptions" to a pupil, peer, supervisor or staff member, you will not last long in the education system (or most jobs come to think of it).

I know if my child came home crying because the teacher said 'are you a special kind of stupid' - I would be having a rather long conversation with the teacher and with the administration. If that teacher is low enough to ridicule a child / professional peers, what isn't that teacher low enough to do?

I'm also the first one to say that if my child is wrong, I will address it .. and it will be dealt with.

If you were a teacher speaking to another teacher / teachers the way you do on here, you certainly wouldn't last. You'd either be eaten alive or kicked out.

On a separate scale, this has severe consequences on personal and non personal relationships. There are tons of questions that fit into this category - but some quick ones are - would you deal with someone that you thought was putting you down consistently? Would you deal with someone that could never accept there there are multiple options? Most people will not. If you are 'different' enough to say yes, I'm willing to bet that the other half of that relationship does not.

On another spectrum, I've seen parents say this kind of stuff to their children - and consistent appearances of this behavior could lead to what is considered mental abuse, which some do consider to be worse than physical abuse. While there is no defined 'right way' to rear a child, allowing it to grow positively and become a productive asset through a negative environment will most likely not occur. Does it happen? Yes - but this is uncommon.

 

[Ron]

http://rickryan.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/event-pacing-the-key-to-the-magic/

Just finished painting this big ole target on my back.

READY

AIM

FIRE!!!

I put it out on the weddingwire vendor forum. Kinda interested to hear the perspective from some of those oh-so-persnikity planners. Your (tender, loving, supportive) comments are welcome.

Ryan, just think if your blog generates as much positive attention for your site as the thread about it you started here... you would be set!

 

[mikemerlin]

What is the word "stupid"? It is merely a description not a derogatory word. We are adults here, if this is offensive to whom it is directed then let that person object and defend themselves. I don't think Mike needs a Guardian Angel. You have to look into the context of what was said and why. If someone is late to the thread and does not see the reason that brought along the post they would not understand. If you called up your utility company to complain about something and they kept repeating the same thing over and over to you it is quite possible you may have some choice names for that person or company. Again it is nothing more than descriptive not a derogatory attack. There is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect.

Houston, you have repeated your case over and over again. I merely point out how and why you are wrong again and again. Everyone here is talking from REAL experience while you are not.

Your scenarios do not allow for any weddings that do not have wedding planners. Your scenarios do not allow for venues or planners making mistakes

When these scenarios are brought up you deflect and name call saying it doesn't apply.

You don't do weddings are and here telling those who do that because of your professionalism and ability to pick select events this type of thing doesn't happen to you.

^^^^LOL. In an earlier post I, point by point picked that statement apart but you ignored it because you have no answer other than deflection and name calling.

 

[Scott Hanna]

What is the word "stupid"? It is merely a description not a derogatory word. We are adults here, if this is offensive to whom it is directed then let that person object and defend themselves. I don't think Mike needs a Guardian Angel. You have to look into the context of what was said and why. If someone is late to the thread and does not see the reason that brought along the post they would not understand. If you called up your utility company to complain about something and they kept repeating the same thing over and over to you it is quite possible you may have some choice names for that person or company. Again it is nothing more than descriptive not a derogatory attack. There is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect.

Well then you two can keep calling people stupid. But don't expect different results

How has it been working out for you so far?

btw, I believe your friend there does it for a totally different reason. He is fully aware how offensive some people find it. He gets his jollys from being offensive. He is starving for attention and finds more people pay attention to him when he he is rude

 

[ahoustondj]

Lack Of Comprehension!

You are correct, there is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect .. and there is no room for disrespect within a direct dialogue. The very second you introduce disrespect, the conversation becomes a conflict and is no longer a discussion.

While you may not consider an attack, I think you lose any and all credibility and respect the very second you tell the utility company 'are you a special kind of stupid' Tell me where did I say I would tell that to the Utility company. See how you lack comprehension!- and I think that person will also take it as a derogatory attack. If you don't think so, try it. Call all of your providers and when they don't get what you're saying, say the crap you say here and see how far it gets you.



If this were the scenario, then I also guarantee you that in that same school, the teacher will NOT 'describe' anyone as stupid. Again, lack of comprehension! Tell me where I said the Teacher described anyone as stupid. Have you taken the time to find out why the Teacher raised his voice or yelled? No, but you are jumping to conclusions and assuming things. The teacher is (or should be) smart enough to know that negative reinforcement rarely provides a positive benefit. The administration would also most likely have that teacher reassigned or removed. You are providing a negative environment which will do nothing to contribute (in fact, it detracts) nor does it help people move forward. I can also guarantee you that at that moment, all other children (and quite possibly professional peers, parents and others) will most likely also lose respect for that 'teacher'.

If the child told their parent that the teacher made him / her cry, I'm sure that concerned parents WOULD investigate - because maybe the child is wrong, maybe not .. and it will be dealt with accordingly. If you are derogatory, disrespectful, condescending or inflammatory using what you call "descriptions" to a pupil, peer, supervisor or staff member, you will not last long in the education system (or most jobs come to think of it).

I know if my child came home crying because the teacher said 'are you a special kind of stupid' Where did you manufacture that phrase?- I would be having a rather long conversation with the teacher and with the administration. If that teacher is low enough to ridicule a child / professional peers, what isn't that teacher low enough to do?

I'm also the first one to say that if my child is wrong, I will address it .. and it will be dealt with.

If you were a teacher speaking to another teacher the way you do on here, you certainly wouldn't last. You'd either be eaten alive or kicked out.

On a separate scale, this has severe consequences on personal and non personal relationships. There are tons of questions that fit into this category - but some quick ones are - would you deal with someone that you thought was putting you down consistently? Would you deal with someone that could never accept there there are multiple options? Most people will not. If you are 'different' enough to say yes, I'm willing to bet that the other half of that relationship does not.

On another spectrum, I've seen parents say this kind of stuff to their children - and consistent appearances of this behavior could lead to what is considered mental abuse. While there is no defined 'right way' to rear a child, allowing it to positively grow in a negative environment will most likely not occur.

Lately I have not been reading your posts. I took a chance to read your response as I know you can't help but add to the fire. The majority of your response above is entirely irrelevant. In other words, (just so that you comprehend), it has no bearing to the subject at hand. First read, then digest, then understand, then you can open your mouth so that what comes out makes sense!
Here is what I posted:
Quote: ahoustondj

I was thinking about this yesterday while I was driving. If a child was in Kindergarten school and the teacher spoke loudly to one of the pupils and he started crying, then some of the others are triggered by the one child's crying, enough to make them also start crying.......does that mean the teacher is mean to the others as well? To go a bit farther, if one of the other children went home and said to their parents that the Teacher made him cry, is that a credible accusation? This is the kind of scenario that gets people unfairly labelled."

Could it be that the teacher yelled something like "Don't do that, you may fall!" ​

 

[ittigger]

You are correct, there is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect .. and there is no room for disrespect within a direct dialogue. The very second you introduce disrespect, the conversation becomes a conflict and is no longer a discussion.

While you may not consider an attack, I think you lose any and all credibility and respect the very second you tell the utility company 'are you a special kind of stupid' Tell me where did I say I would tell that to the Utility company. See how you lack comprehension! Canute, go do some reading - you brought up the utility company. If everyone else is comprehending and you are not, then I think we are not the ones failing to comprehend. If it makes you feel better, insert whatever 'choice name' you feel - and I think that person will also take it as a derogatory attack. If you don't think so, try it. Call all of your providers and when they don't get what you're saying, say the crap you say here and see how far it gets you.

Your post:

If you called up your utility company to complain about something and they kept repeating the same thing over and over to you it is quite possible you may have some choice names for that person or company. Again it is nothing more than descriptive not a derogatory attack. There is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect.

Any 'choice word' you use with the utility company will most likely convert the discussion into a conflict and no longer a direct dialogue. My response was directly related to that, and nothing more - and you say that WE can't comprehend. You can't even recall what you frickin' wrote .. let alone comprehend it.

You catch way more bees with honey than you ever will with vinegar.

If this were the scenario, then I also guarantee you that in that same school, the teacher will NOT 'describe' anyone as stupid. Again, lack of comprehension! Tell me where I said the Teacher described anyone as stupid. Have you taken the time to find out why the Teacher raised his voice or yelled? No, but you are jumping to conclusions and assuming things. I'm not jumping to conclusions or assuming anything. I used your own scenarios. WHATEVER the teacher did to make my child cry would not change MY response. The teacher is (or should be) smart enough to know that negative reinforcement rarely provides a positive benefit. The administration would also most likely have that teacher reassigned or removed. You are providing a negative environment which will do nothing to contribute (in fact, it detracts) nor does it help people move forward. I can also guarantee you that at that moment, all other children (and quite possibly professional peers, parents and others) will most likely also lose respect for that 'teacher'.

If the child told their parent that the teacher made him / her cry, I'm sure that concerned parents WOULD investigate - because maybe the child is wrong, maybe not .. and it will be dealt with accordingly. If you are derogatory, disrespectful, condescending or inflammatory using what you call "descriptions" to a pupil, peer, supervisor or staff member, you will not last long in the education system (or most jobs come to think of it).

I know if my child came home crying because the teacher said 'are you a special kind of stupid' Where did you manufacture that phrase? These are your own words, don't change the subject- I would be having a rather long conversation with the teacher and with the administration. If that teacher is low enough to ridicule a child / professional peers, what isn't that teacher low enough to do?

I'm also the first one to say that if my child is wrong, I will address it .. and it will be dealt with.

If you were a teacher speaking to another teacher the way you do on here, you certainly wouldn't last. You'd either be eaten alive or kicked out.

On a separate scale, this has severe consequences on personal and non personal relationships. There are tons of questions that fit into this category - but some quick ones are - would you deal with someone that you thought was putting you down consistently? Would you deal with someone that could never accept there there are multiple options? Most people will not. If you are 'different' enough to say yes, I'm willing to bet that the other half of that relationship does not.

On another spectrum, I've seen parents say this kind of stuff to their children - and consistent appearances of this behavior could lead to what is considered mental abuse. While there is no defined 'right way' to rear a child, allowing it to positively grow in a negative environment will most likely not occur.

Lately I have not been reading your posts.

Ask me if I care.

I took a chance to read your response as I know you can't help but add to the fire.

If there's a fire, could it be that you were a major cause of the fire? Oh right, I forgot, it was everyone else's inability to comprehend.

The majority of your response above is entirely irrelevant. In other words, (just so that you comprehend), it has no bearing to the subject at hand.

What you fail to comprehend is that it's completely relavent and has full bearing on the subject at hand. I'm addressing the scenario you stated (and using your 'descriptions'). If you want to say that it's because you didn't say what the teacher did, then fine say it. It just makes you look like you comprehend even less. You like to leave out little bits of information so that you save yourself an avenue out. Everyone here knows the discussion - I'll give you credit for trying though.

First read, then digest, then understand, then you can open your mouth so that what comes out makes sense!

The same could be said for you. It looks like you need 10 steps - I shall identify them for you so that it's easier to comprehend. 1: read, 2: digest, 3: understand, 4: draft a response, 5: read response, 6: edit response to be comprehendable, 7: read response again, 8: edit as needed to ensure clarity, 9: read it again, 10: post response / open your mouth so that what you say comes out IS sense.

If you want to play volley, I can do it just as long as you can .. and you know I can. We've been at this cross road before Canute. One big difference between you and me - I don't need to talk down to, insinuate, disrespect, etc you (or anyone else). For the most part, you're teaching people everything they need to know about you with regard to this topic. You're also displaying how well you play with others .. and to some degree, how much you value others (to include peers / participants here).

Here is what I posted:

Quote: ahoustondj
I was thinking about this yesterday while I was driving. If a child was in Kindergarten school and the teacher spoke loudly to one of the pupils and he started crying, then some of the others are triggered by the one child's crying, enough to make them also start crying.......does that mean the teacher is mean to the others as well? To go a bit farther, if one of the other children went home and said to their parents that the Teacher made him cry, is that a credible accusation? This is the kind of scenario that gets people unfairly labelled."

Could it be that the teacher yelled something like "Don't do that, you may fall!"

I don't see a mass of kids crying over 'don't do that, you may fall'. Maybe they do in TX? If you're trying to apply that logic / scenario to this thread, then everything I have said is completely relevant and does apply. If not, then nice spin.

 

[mikemerlin]

^^^^^BOOM goes the dynamite lol

 

[ahoustondj]

Ask me if I care.



If there's a fire, could it be that you were a major cause of the fire? Oh right, I forgot, it was everyone else inability to comprehend.



What you fail to comprehend is that it's completely relavent and has full bearing on the subject at hand. I'm addressing the scenario you stated (and using your 'descriptions'). If you want to say that it's because you didn't say what the teacher did, then fine say it. It just makes you look like you comprehend even less. You like to leave out little bits of information so that you save yourself an avenue out. Everyone here knows the discussion - I'll give you credit for trying though.



The same could be said for you. It looks like you need 9 steps - I shall identify them for you so that it's easier to comprehend. 1: read, 2: digest, 3: understand, 4: draft a response, 5: read response, 6: edit response to be comprehendable, 7: read response again, 8: edit as needed to ensure clarity, 9: post response / open your mouth so that what you say comes out IS sense.

If you want to play volley, I can do it just as long as you can .. and you know I can. We've been at this cross road before Canute. One big difference between you and me - I don't need to talk down to, insinuate or disrespect you (or anyone else). For the most part, you're teaching people everything they need to know about you with regard to this topic. You're also displaying how well you play with others .. and to some degree, how much you value others (to include participants here).





I don't see a mass of kids crying over 'don't do that, you may fall'. Maybe they do in TX? If you're trying to apply that logic / scenario to this thread, then everything I have said is completely relevant and does apply. If not, then nice spin.

LOL all anyone has to do in this case is read my Comment in Post #305 then read your response to it Post #307 and they will see for themselves how far off tangent you are. Its like asking you "What time is it" and you are replying "The sky is blue and the clouds are white". Of course everyone will agree with that statement, problem is, that was not the question! Read and understand my friend, before you start shooting make sure there is even an enemy in sight!

 

[ittigger]

LOL all anyone has to do in this case is read my Comment in Post #305 then read your response to it Post #307 and they will see for themselves how far off tangent you are. Its like asking you "What time is it" and you are replying "The sky is blue and the clouds are white". Of course everyone will agree with that statement, problem is, that was not the question! Read and understand my friend, before you start shooting make sure there is even an enemy in sight!

You are correct that by reading 305 / 307, they will see who really is off tangent. Reading 1-315 will solidify it for them. Keep teaching.



If it wasn't the question, then why would you possibly bring it up for discussion in this specific thread .. unless you were looking for a way out. I like how we're talking about time and the sky / clouds now. You know, they used to tell the time of day by where the sun was in the sky. Shall we continue with this scenario?

 

[ahoustondj]

I respectfully disagree Canute .. and I think it's already been shown where you are faulting / not comprehending. You're just making it worse for yourself.

You are correct that by reading 305 / 307, they will see who really is off tangent. Reading 1-315 will solidify it for them. Keep teaching.

Disagree all you want it Post #305 was totally independent of the whole thread. I knew I should have started a new one for the sake of .....awww never mind. LOL

 

[steve149]

I was thinking about this yesterday while I was driving. If a child was in Kindergarten school and the teacher spoke loudly to one of the pupils and he started crying, then some of the others are triggered by the one child's crying, enough to make them also start crying.......does that mean the teacher is mean to the others as well? To go a bit farther, if one of the other children went home and said to their parents that the Teacher made him cry, is that a credible accusation? This is the kind of scenario that gets people unfairly labelled.

You certainly think about strange things when you're driving.

 

[ittigger]

Disagree all you want it Post #305 was totally independent of the whole thread. I knew I should have started a new one for the sake of .....awww never mind. LOL

Nice try.



305 was based on 303 which goes back to the previous 302 posts. 305 and 303 are directly related. It really was a good try tho.

Post 303:

What is the word "stupid"? It is merely a description not a derogatory word. We are adults here, if this is offensive to whom it is directed then let that person object and defend themselves. I don't think Mike needs a Guardian Angel. You have to look into the context of what was said and why. If someone is late to the thread and does not see the reason that brought along the post they would not understand. If you called up your utility company to complain about something and they kept repeating the same thing over and over to you it is quite possible you may have some choice names for that person or company. Again it is nothing more than descriptive not a derogatory attack. There is a big difference between direct dialogue and disrespect.

Post 305:

I was thinking about this yesterday while I was driving. If a child was in Kindergarten school and the teacher spoke loudly to one of the pupils and he started crying, then some of the others are triggered by the one child's crying, enough to make them also start crying.......does that mean the teacher is mean to the others as well? To go a bit farther, if one of the other children went home and said to their parents that the Teacher made him cry, is that a credible accusation? This is the kind of scenario that gets people unfairly labelled.

Hmmmmm .. is there a relation here?

If this were the scenario, then I also guarantee you that in that same school, the teacher will NOT 'describe' anyone as stupid. Again, lack of comprehension! Tell me where I said the Teacher described anyone as stupid. Have you taken the time to find out why the Teacher raised his voice or yelled? No, but you are jumping to conclusions and assuming things. I'm not jumping to conclusions or assuming anything. I used your own scenarios. WHATEVER the teacher did to make my child cry would not change MY response. The teacher is (or should be) smart enough to know that negative reinforcement rarely provides a positive benefit. The administration would also most likely have that teacher reassigned or removed. You are providing a negative environment which will do nothing to contribute (in fact, it detracts) nor does it help people move forward. I can also guarantee you that at that moment, all other children (and quite possibly professional peers, parents and others) will most likely also lose respect for that 'teacher'.

FWIW, You did some assuming here. Never once did I say that a teacher called someone stupid - I said that "the teacher will NOT 'describe' anyone as stupid". I never said a teacher 'did' anything. You never said what the teacher yelled about. I'm stopping you before you even attempt to go there. I was even nice enough to go into further detail of what would happen 'IF' that did occur. I also said "if this were the scenario" which infers that I'm using concepts from this thread as they might apply to this scenario.

If you want direct dialogue, then leave disrespect out of the equation.

As pertains to your reply of - without knowing what was said - if you look, my answer would be basically unchanged:

If the child told their parent that the teacher made him / her cry, I'm sure that concerned parents WOULD investigate - because maybe the child is wrong, maybe not .. and it will be dealt with accordingly. If you are derogatory, disrespectful, condescending or inflammatory to a pupil, peer, supervisor or staff member, you will not last long in the education system (or most jobs come to think of it).

I know if my child came home crying because the teacher, I would be having a rather long conversation with the teacher and with the administration.

I'm also the first one to say that if my child is wrong, I will address it .. and it will be dealt with.

Always remember - You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.

 

[Scott Hanna]

It's really as simple as this......
you reap what you sow.

For the most part, people will treat you just as they see you treating them

Wave a gun around and you have 1000% better chance of being shot at


With little exception, If people feel you are talking down to them, they will respond in kind

 

[rickryan.com]

Well then you two can keep calling people stupid. But don't expect different results

How has it been working out for you so far?

btw, I believe your friend there does it for a totally different reason. He is fully aware how offensive some people find it. He gets his jollys from being offensive. He is starving for attention and finds more people pay attention to him when he he is rude

Scott, just for clarification, who is this "your friend" you're speaking of?