Event Pacing - The key to the "Magic" (blog)

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Houston I really hope you don't feel that way. Are we arguing? Sure but its never personal and I think a lot of folks feel that way as well. It's a free country and you have every right to your own opinion and I'm sure most would not want to see you go.
 
mikemerlin said:
Houston I really hope you don't feel that way. Are we arguing? Sure but its never personal and I think a lot of folks feel that way as well. It's a free country and you have every right to your own opinion and I'm sure most would not want to see you go.
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You are not the one being blamed and with a threat to be banned if there are more complaints, so how would you know? I could care less if a thread went 500 pages because I have always loved a healthy debate and discourse. However when I have to deal with folks who see me as the bad guy without fairly looking at things I am helpless to make them understand differently. We all preach "play nice" but I think that only applies to some. Others do far worse things than what I am accused of doing and they get a pass. This Forum is supposed to be for adults but if we have to be so PC that someone has to be called out for using the word "stupid" (Even though a**hole seems to be quite acceptable) then I think it is children not adults who are here.
 
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ahoustondj said:
Bob, I appreciate the support but forget about these buffons. What they are trying to do is force my hand so that I would say something really offensive. Maybe I should say something really offensive to see what happens because the words that they are using certainly is not found in the Dictionary. I see many others breaking the TOS rules left and right. They are trolling, following my every thread/post and baiting. They are also calling you, me and others derogatory names. Racial bigotry abounds from one of the Sponsors (Who is now very pleased that the heat is off him and directed elsewhere I am sure).

They want to go back to their little Fairytale world of posting pics on a Sunday or Monday morning of strangers dancing and calling that a Gig report, pics of speakers set up in corners and giving lame excuses that the Venue had no other space for them, pics of speakers set up almost one behind the other with nobody calling them out on it but instead telling them "Good Job" or "Looks Good". They are living for the proverbial "Pat on the back". They are the ones who are showing immaturity! The English language has words that describes certain things and the word "stupid" is just that ...a descriptive word. Yet they clamor loudly about that but have no problem in calling others "a**holes", "Idiots" and "thieves". Funny enough the ones to whom the posts are directed are not the ones complaining about the words directed to them, it is instead the Pot Stirrers who are complaining.

Yep! they would be very happy to get me out of the picture so they can have a fake idyllic atmosphere with nothing to contribute but Non DJ related subjects since most of them who complain are not real DJs anyway, I don't see them posting Gig reports. Are they so afraid of criticism if they do? I think they are more afraid they won't get the rubber stamped "Pat of approval" on their backs. Yep they blame me because the song is so loud that late comers to the lengthy threads do not even take the time to read all the posts before jumping on the lynching bandwagon.

So don't allow them to do to you what they can't do to me. I ignore people not because I am afraid of them but because i would rather take the high road and not indulge in the childish nonsense. I try not to even post in their threads yet they continue to follow me in mine to start shyt. Of course others don't see that at all. Maybe we should go back and see when all this stuff started going south, it was when these complainers joined the Forum and started seeking attention. Before they came to this Forum, the heated debates were DJ related with the heated Topics being mainly Speaker Spread and placement. So many people demonized me for that until some starting experimenting and and came to realize what I was proposing was indeed a fact and not just something I invented to be labeled "my way".

Time will tell, this thread should have been closed twelve or more pages ago. Isn't it easier to put out a spark rather than a roaring flame? Fire department may not be doing their job. So Bob, don't worry about me. I appreciate the support. I think Mix may be the one who needs it. Every time he posts something he is ridiculed. Look at his last thread today http://ourdjtalk.com/threads/42038-Got-a-busy-schedule-coming-up from post # 3 to Post #11 (as of this writing) is nothing less than mockery. It makes me wonder if there is a common denominator there between the way he is treated and the way I am treated by the very same group of folks. Thats food for thought. I have tried to keep my thoughts clean and I always pray for my enemies but history has been once the praying stops bad things seem to happen to those folks. I am not threatening anyone, just a reminder in this world there are good and bad forces in the universe and they manifest themselves in ways we can lest imagine. Does anyone believe in Shango and Voodoo?
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ahoustondj said:
You are not the one being blamed and with a threat to be banned if there are more complaints, so how would you know? I could care less if a thread went 500 pages because I have always loved a healthy debate and discourse. However when I have to deal with folks who see me as the bad guy without fairly looking at things I am helpless to make them understand differently. We all preach "play nice" but I think that only applies to some. Others do far worse things than what I am accused of doing and they get a pass. This Forum is supposed to be for adults but if we have to be so PC that someone has to be called out for using the word "stupid" (Even though a**hole seems to be quite acceptable) then I think it is children not adults who are here.
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I'm sorry you see it that way.
 
I played at a Wedding not so long ago where the Bride couldn't find her Garter for the removal. I happen to carry one in the van just in case. She did find hers in time, but I was prepared to make the event happen just the same. I also have a set of toasting glasses and a set of cake utensils just in case.

Lead, follow or get out of my way.
 
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djsarge said:
I played at a Wedding not so long ago where the Bride couldn't find her Garter for the removal. I happen to carry one in the van just in case. She did find hers in time, but I was prepared to make the event happen just the same. I also have a set of toasting glasses and a set of cake utensils just in case.

Lead, follow or get out of my way.
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Id love to be the proverbial "fly on the wall" if a cop ever pulled you over and searched your vehicle lol
 
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ahoustondj said:
Main response above. I was referring to the many times in this thread that I told him that what he was refrencing did not apply to me and my scenarios. He does not seem to understand. How would you describe someone who refuses to understand?
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Please show me where I was asking him to think like me or follow me!
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you were not asking him to think like you. You were inferring that he is stupid for not thinking like you.


He does not seem to understand. How would you describe someone who refuses to understand?[
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Well, I would not describe you as stupid or pathetic. But you've seemed to not understand anything I've been telling you. When I try to explain further, we get farther apart. It's called misinterpreting. It's not difficult to do with written words. Add some emotion to it, and it gets even easier. It happens between bright people all the time.

I would describe it as someone completely missing my point.

In our disagreements in this thread, did you hear me ask you if you are " stoopid or something", tell you that something you said was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, or call you pathetic?

No, I didn't. Because I understand that we have 2 different businesses, in different areas, with different traditions, different styles, different equipment, leads from different sources, and different types of events that we focus on. What works fir me may NEVER work for you. But when you start telling peoplethat something they are typically doing at a wedding is "so ridiculous, it ain't even funny", you can expect some heavy responses.

When you factor in that you don't do many weddings, it seems like you are arguing just to argue

im telling you this to help you. There are some that don't want help and truly enjoy getting under people's skin
 
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Scott Hanna said:
you were not asking him to think like you. You were inferring that he is stupid for not thinking like you. You are incorrect. I was using the word to describe the fact that what he was trying to instill did not apply to me since I do select Weddings that would not involve that kind of drama. I kept on repeating over and over and he just would not get it.




Well, I would not describe you as stupid or pathetic. But you've seemed to not understand anything I've been telling you. When I try to explain further, we get farther apart. It's called misinterpreting. It's not difficult to do with written words. Add some emotion to it, and it gets even easier. It happens between bright people all the time.

I would describe it as someone completely missing my point. That is what I think has been happening to you all. You all have a belief in the way things work for you all and that is fine with me. What you all are not understanding is that I don't have to deal with that aspect!

In our disagreements in this thread, did you hear me ask you if you are " stoopid or something", tell you that something you said was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, or call you pathetic? How could you do that when what I am doing, even though rare in your neck of the woods, is not in mine?

No, I didn't. Because I understand that we have 2 different businesses, in different areas, with different traditions, different styles, different equipment, leads from different sources, and different types of events that we focus on. What works fir me may NEVER work for you. But when you start telling peoplethat something they are typically doing at a wedding is "so ridiculous, it ain't even funny", you can expect some heavy responses. It may not be ridiculous to them but it is to me. Why can't they accept that?

When you factor in that you don't do many weddings, it seems like you are arguing just to argue That my friend is a piece of Hogwash. If I say I don't drive my Car much any more does that mean I no longer know how to drive?

im telling you this to help you. There are some that don't want help and truly enjoy getting under people's skin
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Some responses above in red. For a long time now I have come to the conclusion that when some see that the things they say can't be done is being done by others, it upsets them. Because they can't do it or are afraid to do it or won't do it, does not mean they have to despise those who are doing it. I mean come on...try and recall some of the reasons in the past why some have said why they were setup in a corner. When I asked, "did you ask the Venue for a better spot" their reply was "No I didn't cause I did not want to rock the Boat." Sadly there are many who think just like that. Then they see someone like me who can come along work with the Client and Venue and get want they want and that makes them angry. Why? I mean, to ask a Venue a simple question they are afraid? How spineless is that one! So it is no wonder they are upset that I am not encountering the problems they are. Now if I was taking on any, every and all Wedding Gigs I am sure I may run into problems like they are encountering, I am not disputing that at all. However this is not the issue or debate and they are mixing up the two in their minds.

They may all laugh and try and ridicule me because I am different. I laugh at them because they are all the same.
 
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If I say I don't drive my Car much any more does that mean I no longer know how to drive?
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No, but your posts suggests that you are telling someone that does drive a lot that the way they drive in their neighborhood is ridiculous . If you would simply quantify your post by saying, "The way I do things, that wouldn't work for me at all". But everyone else is reading, "You are stupid for thinking that way"..and thus you get gruff for it.

It may not be ridiculous to them but it is to me. Why can't they accept that?
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Again, because that's not the way they are reading it. A simple few words can change all of that. Try using, "In my experience, I've found..."

"I respectfully disagree...this is why...."

"Maybe that works for you...but I've found......"

Those things make it very clear that you are not putting down what they are doing, simply that you have a different opinion.

In our disagreements in this thread, did you hear me ask you if you are " stoopid or something", tell you that something you said was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, or call you pathetic? How could you do that when what I am doing, even though rare in your neck of the woods, is not in mine?
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I dont understand what you mean.

You are incorrect. I was using the word to describe the fact that what he was trying to instill did not apply to me since I do select Weddings that would not involve that kind of drama. I kept on repeating over and over and he just would not get it.
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A great phrase I've found to be very effective to get the point across when I'm trying to let someone know that what they are saying doesn't apply to me. It's short, but very effective. here it is:

THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO ME
That is what I think has been happening to you all. You all have a belief in the way things work for you all and that is fine with me. What you all are not understanding is that I don't have to deal with that aspect!
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I believe I do understand that you don't have to deal with it. It also appears that you don't do weddings very often, and when you do them, they typically have a wedding planner that you can count on taking care of many things.

However, many of your posts suggest that you don't understand that for many DJs that do lots of weddings, typically without a wedding planner...and when it does have a wedding planner, it's not someone we know, we double check things before we make announcements. I even double check MYSELF. I don't believe I'm incompetent, but I can forget something. Double checking and putting a check mark on my planner ensures that I...or anyone else, didn't forget anything. A few of your posts say understand that it, then other posts suggest the exact opposite.
 
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They may all laugh and try and ridicule me because I am different. I laugh at them because they are all the same.
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I truly don't believe anyone is laughing or ridiculing you because you are different. Being different can be very effective in the entertainment business. Do you really think that most people here even understand how different you are?

As I've mentioned, I believe it's way you try to get your point across that get's them upset.
 
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Scott Hanna said:
No, but your posts suggests that you are telling someone that does drive a lot that the way they drive in their neighborhood is ridiculous . If you would simply quantify your post by saying, "The way I do things, that wouldn't work for me at all". But everyone else is reading, "You are stupid for thinking that way"..and thus you get gruff for it. I don't think many are reading anything. They are jumping to conclusions without reading.



Again, because that's not the way they are reading it. A simple few words can change all of that. Try using, "In my experience, I've found..."

"I respectfully disagree...this is why...."

"Maybe that works for you...but I've found......"

Those things make it very clear that you are not putting down what they are doing, simply that you have a different opinion. I said it over and over in the thread. I kept on saying the ones that I am choosing to do does not entail the problems. That is the reason by i only select certain ones. Somebody is NOT reading.



I dont understand what you mean. Allow me to explain. There are certain places where I play that perfection is paramount. The Venues have everything under control and they don't need the DJs help other than for him to do his job. Everyone knows what they have to do including staff and other vendors. If they screw up it may be their last time at that Venue. Go to River Oaks Country Club and everything is in place and immaculate. Their image depends on things being executed perfectly. Everyone knows that so everyone has to perform to perfection.



A great phrase I've found to be very effective to get the point across when I'm trying to let someone know that what they are saying doesn't apply to me. It's short, but very effective. here it is:

THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO ME Go back and read Post #23. http://ourdjtalk.com/threads/41996-...t-(blog)/page2?p=524357&viewfull=1#post524357

I believe I do understand that you don't have to deal with it. It also appears that you don't do weddings very often, and when you do them, they typically have a wedding planner that you can count on taking care of many things. How many times have I said that in this thread? Are you now getting that message?

However, many of your posts suggest that you don't understand that for many DJs that do lots of weddings, typically without a wedding planner...and when it does have a wedding planner, it's not someone we know, we double check things before we make announcements. Yes I do understand. Why do you think I choose not to do just any and all Weddings but just a select few? It is because I don't want to have to deal with the mess. So don't accuse me of not knowing! It is plain common sense. Duh!!! I even double check MYSELF. I don't believe I'm incompetent, but I can forget something. Double checking and putting a check mark on my planner ensures that I...or anyone else, didn't forget anything. A few of your posts say understand that it, then other posts suggest the exact opposite.
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Some responses above in red. I never said I don't double check myself. You also need to go back and read post #109 http://ourdjtalk.com/threads/41996-...t-(blog)/page6?p=524672&viewfull=1#post524672

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Scott Hanna said:
I truly don't believe anyone is laughing or ridiculing you because you are different. Being different can be very effective in the entertainment business. Do you really think that most people here even understand how different you are?

As I've mentioned, I believe it's way you try to get your point across that get's them upset.
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By now they should understand me and know it is not a personal attack. In other words they should get over it! Too much overly sensitive peeps around.
 
I still don't see how choosing "the right events" eliminates issues. It may minimize them, but issues can crop up even with another professional on board, unless one figures they can just deflect the blame to the other professional.
 
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i am not going to go back and clip...but i seem to recall that I said I double check stuff, and you said that if I do, I believe that everyone else is incompetent.....or something to that extent. Which would infer that it's not common sense to you.

And no, I have not read every work you have written in this thread.

I don't believe it's a personal attack. But you've asked why people are "shooting the messenger". I'm just telling you why. I do believe there is a more effective way to say things.
 
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ahoustondj said:
By now they should understand me and know it is not a personal attack. In other words they should get over it! Too much overly sensitive peeps around.
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By the same token, all of this should apply to you as well.

I've stated this repeatedly - I like you Canute. I think you have alot of knowledge to share and to offer these people .. but you certainly have a hard way of trying to show / share it at times. You also seem to have a hard time of accepting the fact that everything does not happen like it happens specifically for you .. and you seem to have a hard time learning / experiencing / accepting from others. You have had your moments where you have been able to share things very well - and it has been noticed - and I have specifically pointed it out. Sadly, it usually happens after a big conflict.
 
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djsarge said:
I played at a Wedding not so long ago where the Bride couldn't find her Garter for the removal. I happen to carry one in the van just in case. She did find hers in time, but I was prepared to make the event happen just the same. I also have a set of toasting glasses and a set of cake utensils just in case.
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That you carry utensils & glasses speaks to the quality of catering being employed by your clients. What you are essentially doing is providing free insurance coverage for customers to cheap to hire competent catering.

On a side note - if the bride couldn't find her garter it begs the question: "Who got there first?"

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mikemerlin said:
You honestly don't understand that in order for there to be a dialogue there needs to be two active parties? He directs a comment towards me. I reply. As far as maturity I am not the one name calling. Unless you are counting poopy head. I definitely said that
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I understand that you are not engaged in a dialogue. You are demanding that he recognize your opinion as superior - stuck at the point of demanding that he admit he is wrong and you are right. That is why you are still "replying" (dictating terms) 14 pages later.
 
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Proformance said:
That you carry utensils & glasses speaks to the quality of catering being employed by your clients. What you are essentially doing is providing free insurance coverage for customers to cheap to hire competent catering.

On a side note - if the bride couldn't find her garter it begs the question: "Who got there first?"

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I understand that you are not engaged in a dialogue. You are demanding that he recognize your opinion as superior - stuck at the point of demanding that he admit he is wrong and you are right. That is why you are still "replying" (dictating terms) 14 pages later.
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Really? Houston has stated time and again that I ,Rick, and the others are wrong. Not only has he said we are wrong but were idiots, stupid, etc. Again, he has said we are wrong for

-Coordinating with other vendors
-Verifying that things are in place before proceeding with events

etc ,etc.

That's what this whole conversation has been about.

There are many things that are arbitrary, many things that can be done differently and people can disagree on, however, f you are not verifying that things are in place before commencing with events it is WRONG.
 
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