Tom - I got that. I think you still owe it to the paying client not to be the most under-dressed at the wedding.....
just my opinion....
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Tom - I got that. I think you still owe it to the paying client not to be the most under-dressed at the wedding.....
just my opinion....
Forget the client relationship or any sense of professionalism that seems to offend so many, I would no more show up, as a guest, performer, or honored participant, at someone's wedding in a bowling shirt or casual khakis and dress shirt than I would show up at a poolside luau (Again Chuck no can play) in a tux, it is just inappropriate.
Time & Place, a lost, or at the very least, diminishing ethic.:trisad:
Time & Place, a lost, or at the very least, diminishing ethic.:trisad:
And how is offering a completely casual environment for all events a diminishing ethic?
Rocky, you seem to have it in your mind that less than formal attire for events that have been characterized by society as formal is demeaning or has a loss of ethics. I call that being a snob.
Society has characterized weddings as formal events but they don't have to be. Why, in your mind, do they have to?
You say that Chuck can't play but his location offers the ultimate in casual "formal" events. Why can't that happen elsewhere? Hawaii doesn't have the corner on that market.
I ditched the tux two years ago for a business suit but most of the weddings I have done in that period had no problems being even less formal than that.
And, while you can bowl in a polo, it is not a bowling shirt. I have seen some very nice polos. They are comfortable to work in and being comfortable is all about my new approach.
As stated, the prospect knows at the top. If that is not their wish, they can move on.
And now, it is time to move on.
Mods, please close this thread.
Now where on earth did I put my rubber boots and overalls. The chit is getting pretty deep in here.
Do not take that out of context. I clearly set the parameter at any wedding, or other milestone event and not just performers or other vendors.
Well, you have swerved right into a point of clear demarcation for me. Important events, and we don't need to debate what those are, the intent is clear, warrant, desreve, and are worthy of special acknowledgment by guests and participants.
Some faceless "society" didn't "characterize" a wedding reception, or a milestone anniversary, or a monumental birthday as formal, common sense, values, and basic respect dictate a minimal level of decorum for such important accomplishments and/or commitments and is a recognized component in the "Time & Place" ethic.
Sadly for contemporary culture, society has devalued marriage. If society would have simply held to the tenant that marriage IS a formal, important commitment, we'd have substantially less problems than we do.
Just because a bunch of tourists decide to have a Hawaiian wedding and dress like beach combers, dat don't make it proper.
Ask a actual native Hawaiian, not some Haole, how one should dress at such monumental moments, and I bet you won't get some hollywood wardrobe department version of an Island wedding outfit. Don't surprised if the dress code has a more traditional and meaningful purpose.
Quitter!:triwink:
Mods, I vote you do not honor Tom's request to stifle open and polite discussion.
We've stopped honoring requests to close threads because the OP didn't get the answers they were looking for. As long as things stay respectful there is no reason to close this thread.
Rocky:
We're talking about an Elks Lodge here. People booking an Elks Lodge are not looking for formal.
The lodge rental is around $500 for non-members. The catering prices are about $15 per person on up to $20 per person. So, figure $20/person for 100 people; that's $2,000. Add in the hall and DJ (with discount for using the catering) and we are looking at $2,950.
Most of the weddings there cater it themselves. Many of the brides don't even bother with a formal gown and if the groom wears a suit he already owns it.
Most of the weddings are under $3,000 for their total expenditures. They rent the hall to keep the budget down and formality is the last thing they are looking for.
As stated, if they want the formal attire, I have other DJs on the list. But their prices will probably scare them back to me.
A wedding is a celebration. It does not have to be a formal ball.
We're talking about an Elks Lodge here. People booking an Elks Lodge are not looking for formal.
The lodge rental is around $500 for non-members. The catering prices are about $15 per person on up to $20 per person. So, figure $20/person for 100 people; that's $2,000. Add in the hall and DJ (with discount for using the catering) and we are looking at $2,950.
Most of the weddings there cater it themselves. Many of the brides don't even bother with a formal gown and if the groom wears a suit he already owns it.
Most of the weddings are under $3,000 for their total expenditures. They rent the hall to keep the budget down and formality is the last thing they are looking for.
As stated, if they want the formal attire, I have other DJs on the list. But their prices will probably scare them back to me.
A wedding is a celebration. It does not have to be a formal ball.
So what do we all think people think when they see an overweight/Obese DJ show up... no matter what they are wearing?
Seems to be a lot of tubbies around (270 myself). Most of the DJs I have met are fat, the young ones tend to be slimmer, some of the older ones too, but the 30-50 range seem to be rather robust in the middle.
Do we not think that also says something to the guests at a party?
Seems to be a lot of tubbies around (270 myself). Most of the DJs I have met are fat, the young ones tend to be slimmer, some of the older ones too, but the 30-50 range seem to be rather robust in the middle.
Do we not think that also says something to the guests at a party?
Looks better but I would kill the "if you are willing to make a few concessions" part and keep the quality of services part. You can still be completely upfront and honest without selling yourself short.
As to the attire if your ad clearly states (as it does in Tom's) what you wear then it's not an issue. If it's not then the Dj should always ask without exception what the B&G's expectations to attire are. I have a list of choices on my form.
Lastly, and as I've mentioned before Tom by far puts up the most compelling posts. Christ, this is his first one in months and it's on fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire!
I understand where you are coming from and you are absolutely correct. If I were a client looking for an elegant place and money is not a problem, I will not look for an Elks lounge to do my wedding. But being the case that most if not all clients that are looking to spend minimal by celebrating their wedding at your place, most will not care what you will wear unless you show up in sandals! LOL...... I myself like to always wear a suit and tie unless stated otherwise on my forms. Even if the client decides not to answer the question, I show up in a suit. If the event is formal and I see that not many are wearing any suits, I take off my jacket/tie and just stay with my long sleeve shirt on.
The amount of money being spent has ZERO bearing on the amount of respect the institution warrants.
A wedding is not a celebration, it is a solemn, legal commitment. The reception is the celebration in honor of the commitment.
Interesting topic. I am about 85% referral and I have never worn a tux, rarley wore a suit, and most times it's a dress shirt and pants. Sometimes a dress shirt and black jeans or a polo style company shirt. (imagine having my name on my shirt what the heck they might think I'm a mechanic :triwink
If the client wanted a Tux I would wear one...That they pay the rental on. If they want a suit I will be glad to do that otherwise it's about comfort and coolness (or warmth in the winter). I guess if I wore a tux or painted my face like a clown or something mabye I would be a little higher referral but hell I'll risk it
I think what you guys are missing is Tommy is making no bones about what he offers and he stated it's a hobby. These days it's acceptable to wear a polo and slacks to a wedding as a guest why would the entertainer overdress
The Ceremony is sacred but the reception with alcohol and dancing etc I think it has to be classified as a celebration and folks have a choice to do it simple and minimal or full out Glitz and Glam. I dress appropriately.
I think there are greater challenges to our industry than if someone can do a double windsor knot or not. Lets work on educating the people about the benefits of hiring legal and licensed DJs who have some actuall know how behind a mike/table. This is really just ignoring the elephant in the room.
How often do you argue with your wife/GF over something stupid only to find out there was something else at the root of it?
I think this is the same kind of deal.
How often do you argue with your wife/GF over something stupid only to find out there was something else at the root of it?
I think this is the same kind of deal.