Butt kissing other vendors

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Karl Langford said:
This is just my opinion but you strike me as a "I am on better than everyone and no one belongs as high as me" kind of person/DJ. Maybe that works for you but it sure doesn't for me.
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There is a serious lack of comprehension here. I do not have a problem with Venues and other vendors, period. Why, because I do not deal with them as if they are my client. They are not! I request and obtain things on behalf of MY Client, the person who is paying me or who hired me.
I also don't allow anyone or anything to get in my way of delivering a stellar performance. I give Kudos where it is due. If I ask a waitress or Bartender for a glass of water or a drink, I will tip them even though the drink itself may be free. This is showing appreciation not sucking up.
If some DJs do not have the skills of interacting with others without making advesaries then that is their problem. I have formal people skills in Sales and Marketing and use it to my advantage. I have confidence in what I do.
My personality is one of directness, I try not to beat around the bush.
 
Don't want to argue with you. We see things differently. What works for me may not work for you.

Watch out for that door jam. Don't hit your head when walking out the door.

EDIT: I tried to look up your website to get a feel as to why I have the opinion I have of you but you don't list it. When I googled you, the website that came up went to the home page and each link was dead.

If this is you http://www.ahoustondj.com/ you might want to get that fixed.
 
ahoustondj said:
Kirby,
I am curious to know what it is you mean by that statement above in Red?

In past posts of mine, I stated I don't allow venues or vendors to push me around but that does not mean to say I push them around either. I have ways of showing warmth, friendliness and comradery. I actually have them asking me for my Business Card first instead of me trying to shove it in their hands.
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Everything that I post isn't about you......:trirolleyes:
 
Karl Langford said:
Don't want to argue with you. We see things differently. What works for me may not work for you.

Watch out for that door jam. Don't hit your head when walking out the door.

EDIT: I tried to look up your website to get a feel as to why I have the opinion I have of you but you don't list it. When I googled you, the website that came up went to the home page and each link was dead.

If this is you http://www.ahoustondj.com/ you might want to get that fixed.
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It has been dead for a long time now and I'll tell you why! I really don't need it because I get most of my business from referrals and one to one Marketing Contact.
I actually paid a friend who was in financial need money to finish it for me as a means of helping him out. The Ball has been in my court to furnish him with the materials he needs to finish the website but it has not been a big priority here for me.
I am here in Boston now and still making money in Houston as I type this message.
 
Kirby Ball said:
Everything that I post isn't about you......:trirolleyes:
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Kirb I never said or elluded to that...I don't remember seeing real negatavie posts from the other DJs here about vendors and venues. People just come on and share their frustrations and others chime in is all.
One thing that should be done when someone feels the need to make a criticism or opposing opinion is to offer a positive solution of their own. I hope I do that.
 
I think that most of us here actually feel the same about this. It's just different use of the terminology.

In my opinion, there is a big difference between "sucking up" and working very well with others.

Working well with others is simply good business. Sending a card is a smart idea. That is not butt kissing to me. It's networking with other vendors.

As others have mentioned, I try to go way out of my way to work well with all other vendors. I let them know that I want to work as a team. We all have the same goal....a successful reception. Working as a team DOES NOT MEAN letting others push me around. That's just being a door mat.

But some don't know how to work well with others. They feel being helpful and team oriented makes them look bad.

There's a DJ in my area. Every time I run into him, he has to tell me about this terrible photographer, or that one....and how he told them off. He's always getting in tiffs with someone. He never believes that maybe it's him. It is EXTREMELY rare that I don't work well with someone.

To me, sucking up or kissing butt is when someone does or says things that are not genuine. Telling someone that has a real ugly tie...what a nice tie you have on.....or writing in the card that they have the most beautiful hall when even they know it's not true. Basically, it's being phony.
 
Jon Tuck said:
sorry to crash this party but Canute how is your Mom doing?
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Thanks for asking! She is doing fine considering everything and the Dementia is taking hold very fast. She does recognize me and I spend a lot of time with her several times a day. She is in a Nursing home about 4 miles from where I am staying by my Son.
 
Sorry dont kiss anyones a$$ period

if they want me to do that then they have big problems
some of them should be doing it for me... I deal with a lot of clients
that I can show to do with Video, Photography, Limos, and a heap more

since I use to be in business with a wedding Center located in perth city
a heap of them wanted to be in it but we ended up closing it after one got to greedy!

anyway thats another story!

no thanks I wont (might some nice looking blonde)
oh sorry better not start talking about things like that here

I better go now - cyaaaaaa
 
Karl do tell!! please inquiring minds want to know what the XXXX you meant by that? ITs awfully hard to kiss butt from Boston to Houston for sure. I honestly hate arse kissers and hold them lower than bottom feeders. I dont waste much time with either. If you recognize what I have to offer then why would I plant a pair of lips? Many yrs of high level sports involvement and then ten yrs in the military I am very regimented to teamwork and helping the chain have no weak butt kissing links.
 
Jon Tuck said:
Karl do tell!! please inquiring minds want to know what the XXXX you meant by that? ITs awfully hard to kiss butt from Boston to Houston for sure. I honestly hate arse kissers and hold them lower than bottom feeders. I dont waste much time with either. If you recognize what I have to offer then why would I plant a pair of lips? Many yrs of high level sports involvement and then ten yrs in the military I am very regimented to teamwork and helping the chain have no weak butt kissing links.
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Wasn't talking to you. Doesn't concern you. Thanks for playing.
 
If you are sincere, it's not butt-kissing, it's customer focus. If you are a fake and your ONLY goal is to take from someone, you're a suck up!
Thanking someone with sincere intention is the BEST form of communication!
I recently sent a card and a box of brownies to the wedding sales manager at the local Hilton. I happened to attend a conference there and she came over, introduced herself and thanked me for the card and brownies. I told her (in the card also) that I LOVE working there for several reasons and listed them. When we were done, she asked for a bunch of business cards because of client feedback she got about me. I'm now on the preferred vendor list. Was I SUCKING UP? No. I was thankful for the opportunity to interact. Did I expect anything in return? Nope. But I got more than I would have if I didn't express my appreciation to her.
Learn it. Love it.
Dave
 
Dave Winsor said:
If you are sincere, it's not butt-kissing, it's customer focus. If you are a fake and your ONLY goal is to take from someone, you're a suck up!
Thanking someone with sincere intention is the BEST form of communication!
I recently sent a card and a box of brownies to the wedding sales manager at the local Hilton. I happened to attend a conference there and she came over, introduced herself and thanked me for the card and brownies. I told her (in the card also) that I LOVE working there for several reasons and listed them. When we were done, she asked for a bunch of business cards because of client feedback she got about me. I'm now on the preferred vendor list. Was I SUCKING UP? No. I was thankful for the opportunity to interact. Did I expect anything in return? Nope. But I got more than I would have if I didn't express my appreciation to her.
Learn it. Love it.
Dave
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Sounds to me like she would have asked for your cards regardless of the brownies. Which at that point would (for me) qualify as sucking up.
 
Reaction to title alone...

This is my reaction to the title of this thread.

I don't butt kiss other vendors. More often than not, for a wedding, my client has hired me to MC as well as DJ and, to me, that means I am also the defacto coordinator.

That being said, my first job is to form the other vendors into a team that will work together and in order for that to happen I need to share important information with them like the agenda. Most of the time I get the agenda to the other vendors a week or two before the event but, invariably, it will be ignored until the day of.

At the wedding, as vendors show up, I give them a copy of the agenda and I ask if they see any problems. Most of the time the answer is no and I am thanked for providing the agenda. Many have told me that I am the only one that does this.

Occasionally I get some input, like the photographer that said he had been in the business for over 40 years that insisted I move the bouquet toss before the garter toss but, when I explained to him why it was in this order he got it.

I also have no problems making adjustments as long as it is an improvement and will bend over backwards to work with a vendor but I don't kiss their butt. I remind them that the common goal should be that the bride and groom have the day they want it. Some get that. The ones that don't I leave out in the cold.
 
DJ J Mac said:
Sounds to me like she would have asked for your cards regardless of the brownies. Which at that point would (for me) qualify as sucking up.
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DJ J Mac,

Perhaps. But It hadn't happened UNTIL I sent the card and she received it. I had been there a couple of other times AND you would qualify what I wrote above as SUCKING UP? How cynical it seems to me. So If a vendor sent you a thank you card for a job well done you would consider that sucking up too?

Dave

ps. This isn't the "wild west" where you have to bring gun everywhere with you.
 
Dave,
If a vendor sent me some sort of thank you card...here's what would happen.

It would be opened and read, left for Ducky to see. Then it would get lost in the office or find its way to the recycling.

Would I consider it sucking up...depends on what was written, but I can assure you regardless of what was written I wouldn't give it a thought other than..."meh, that's nice" and then proceed to forget about it.

Here's the catch, I don't need a thank you from vendors because while I may have done a great job or whatever in their eyes, I'm never satisfied with my performance at an event.
 
DJ J Mac,

Allow me to pound on you for a moment. You are COMPLETELY missing the point about this (IMHO). If a vendor praises you for a job well done, why wouldn't you do any ONE of these things:

1.) Call them to say thanks.
2.) Write them back
3.) Buy them coffee
4.) Ask what the future may hold?
5.) Take your lovely to the venue for dinner and say "Hey" while you are there?

I'll wait for your response. I'm really not picking on "you" personally, but I'm passionate about this.

Thanks and peace.

Dave
 
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