Butt kissing other vendors

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Dave Winsor said:
DJ J Mac,

Allow me to pound on you for a moment. You are COMPLETELY missing the point about this (IMHO). If a vendor praises you for a job well done, why wouldn't you do any ONE of these things:

1.) Call them to say thanks.
2.) Write them back
3.) Buy them coffee
4.) Ask what the future may hold?
5.) Take your lovely to the venue for dinner and say "Hey" while you are there?

I'll wait for your response. I'm really not picking on "you" personally, but I'm passionate about this.

Thanks and peace.

Dave
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Dave,

1) I'll take my thanks in person. It means a lot more than a written comment. (to me at least)
2) Sorry, but we're not penpals. I'll chat with them next time I see them.
3) Coffee, I don't even like coffee :tribiggrin: Seriously though, I'm busy enough without taking vendors out to coffee and schmoozing them.
4) What the future may hold...if I do good and the clients like what I do, I'll see them again. I'm not one for begging and asking to get on preferred vendor lists, I'll earn my way on to those. And I don't enter into marketing, discount, exclusivity, etc deals with anyone. Once again, I'm not going to go schmoozing and playing games to try to get referrals and on lists; I'll let the job I do speak for itself.
5) We've gone to a brunch at one of the venues several times and the staff there know us and we acknowledge each other. But there is no talk of shop or anything like that; my personal life and my business life are kept separate.
 
Mac,

Got it. I still don't understand the cool, detached approach to other vendors. They can provide you way more work than any one couple that you've done a good job for! The vendors have events every weekend. The vendor are a network. The vendors are a grapevine and they talk. You raise the customer up above the vendor. I can't understand that, and I don't know if you'll ever be able to explain it to me based upon our approaches to this.

I thought the "cavaliers" were in Cleveland. Sheesh. Whatever works for you is what works for you.

Thanks,
Dave
 
Doing Business

Marketing
Advertising
Thank You Cards (Hand written is best)
Acknowledgement letters/cards
Patronizing another vendors business
Networking
Sharing Leads
Giving Referrals.

These are some of the elements of a well oiled business "machine". All should have truth and sincerity. When done on a personal level from one vendor to another, should hold no obligation.
Best way to ask for help is to first offer help.
Best way to give out your business cards to other vendors is to first ask for theirs in offering to do the same.
Helping to make any event a success will be remembered by all involved and referrals will come naturally.
Have respect for the venues, and other vendors and they will show you the same.
Grovel at their feet and you will be kicked around. One can demand respect and still be friendly.

All the above are things that have to be foremost on one's minds when dealing with others.
Shutting one's mouth and doing only as told is NOT going automatically going to make one a nice guy. You will be viewed as a pushover.
Keeping one's tail between their legs so as to make no waves does not make one a Team Player. You have to be proactive to ensure that things are good for everyone INCLUDING YOURSELF!
 
Dave Winsor said:
Mac,

Got it. I still don't understand the cool, detached approach to other vendors. They can provide you way more work than any one couple that you've done a good job for! The vendors have events every weekend. The vendor are a network. The vendors are a grapevine and they talk. You raise the customer up above the vendor. I can't understand that, and I don't know if you'll ever be able to explain it to me based upon our approaches to this.

I thought the "cavaliers" were in Cleveland. Sheesh. Whatever works for you is what works for you.

Thanks,
Dave
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Dave,
Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the nicest guys you'll meet, helping out vendors as much as I can at an event without losing focus of the reason I'm there. I know that vendors have their own networks and I know we're in good with some of those networks.
I also know that I'm putting the client above the other vendors, but in the end isn't that the way it should be? After all, without the client there are no vendors. From the moment I arrive at a venue the only thing I'm focused on is the client and the task at hand. And once the thank you letter goes out to the client, my focus is on the next event.
This is just the way I've always been. No games, no bullchit, no schmoozing, no politics. Devote your entire attention to the client and give it so much that by the time your gear is unloaded you about drop from exhaustion. That's the way I do things and if other vendors want to knock me for it, that's fine. The client hires me, not the vendor.
 
Dave Winsor said:
Mac,

Got it. I still don't understand the cool, detached approach to other vendors. They can provide you way more work than any one couple that you've done a good job for! The vendors have events every weekend. The vendor are a network. The vendors are a grapevine and they talk. You raise the customer up above the vendor. I can't understand that, and I don't know if you'll ever be able to explain it to me based upon our approaches to this.

I thought the "cavaliers" were in Cleveland. Sheesh. Whatever works for you is what works for you.

Thanks,
Dave
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Dave,
You are correct!
In Marketing, ......Venues, Vendors, Wedding , Cordinators, Photographers etc are all considered as "Centers of Influence". These folks when properly networked can drive tons of business to one another. It is very wise to get on their lists. The best way of doing this is by sending referrals to them first. They would oblige in like manner.
 
ahoustondj said:
Grovel at their feet and you will be kicked around. One can demand respect and still be friendly.

Shutting one's mouth and doing only as told is NOT going automatically going to make one a nice guy.
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No where did I say that I groveled at anyone's feet. No where did I say I shut my mouth and do only as told. I work with them.

At this venue, the dance floor is in the middle of the room and most DJs (I was told this by the old and new Manager and the owner) set up against the wall with carpet between them and the dance floor. I told them I like to be on the dance floor as it makes the dance go better. I set up, showed them what I do to make it work and they said it was OK. The last manager said I was the only one to do this.

Does that sound like I am a pushover and do everything I am told? Maybe I can get away with this because I am so nice. Instead of getting upset and saying I will not do this or that like yourself have said on here.

You assume too much. Being nice or sucking up or kissing butt isn't letting people push you around, it is working with, being nice and getting your way using different tactics.

Maybe you should try it and you wouldn't have to have such a great impression of yourself.
 
Two words,
Professional Courtesy
 
Karl Langford said:
No where did I say that I groveled at anyone's feet. No where did I say I shut my mouth and do only as told. I work with them.

At this venue, the dance floor is in the middle of the room and most DJs (I was told this by the old and new Manager and the owner) set up against the wall with carpet between them and the dance floor. I told them I like to be on the dance floor as it makes the dance go better. I set up, showed them what I do to make it work and they said it was OK. The last manager said I was the only one to do this.

Does that sound like I am a pushover and do everything I am told? Maybe I can get away with this because I am so nice. Instead of getting upset and saying I will not do this or that like yourself have said on here.

You assume too much. Being nice or sucking up or kissing butt isn't letting people push you around, it is working with, being nice and getting your way using different tactics.

Maybe you should try it and you wouldn't have to have such a great impression of yourself.
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Hey,
I am glad that you asked and got what you want, good for you. So you were the only guy so far to get this priveledge. This is what I am talking about, ask and you will receive.
BTW I don't have problems getting what I want. I don't have to kiss azz to get it either. I also play the same places over and over.
When I say I don't do this or that it is in communication with this board not with any venue.
Y'all need to know comprehension. Nobody bosses me around and I don't have to Boss anyone around either.
 
DJ J Mac said:
Dave,
Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the nicest guys you'll meet, helping out vendors as much as I can at an event without losing focus of the reason I'm there. I know that vendors have their own networks and I know we're in good with some of those networks.
I also know that I'm putting the client above the other vendors, but in the end isn't that the way it should be? After all, without the client there are no vendors. From the moment I arrive at a venue the only thing I'm focused on is the client and the task at hand. And once the thank you letter goes out to the client, my focus is on the next event.
This is just the way I've always been. No games, no bullchit, no schmoozing, no politics. Devote your entire attention to the client and give it so much that by the time your gear is unloaded you about drop from exhaustion. That's the way I do things and if other vendors want to knock me for it, that's fine. The client hires me, not the vendor.
Click to expand...

Mac,
I don't want for you to think that I am getting on your case too. A vendor can give you much more referrals and repeat business than a single retail client. That is about as basic as it gets when it comes to leads. You can also be adversely affected more by a vendor than an individual Client.
Dave does have a point. :triwink::triwink:
 
Anyone is free to believe that networking and/or developing and nurturing relationships with other vendors isn't a good use of time.


My experience has been different.
 
my opinion is that sharing in the successful goals or exceeding the expectations of the customer with multiple vendors involved totally relys on teamwork. I think calling it kissing butt is wrong. I consider it proper protocol. I will not kiss anyones arse but will work with a smile on my face and even pull up the slack if needed to help satisfy the customer. I do have a hard time with those who dont pull their own weight but the show must go on.
 
I worked this venue (not a VFW type or hotel chain) who sees DJs come and go. The caretaker and I chatted for a spell and told me I was the only DJ who she actually liked - all the others were annoying. Loves my setup and get this, enjoyed how I played by their rules yet made a great time for the couple.

Now she is having me fast tracked to get on their preferred list and is referring me to couples. I might also add she worked for a top catering company in the area as well, so she has seen her share of DJs.

We only met once. I just made sure it was a good impression. And now she is an advocate for me.

Moral? Sucking up, butt kissing, etc can be done by anyone at anytime. True wedding professionals know it and will 'play you back'. Kinda like 'mental masturbation'. Just be yourself and keep it real. The rest will take care of itself.
 
Ed Witles said:
I worked this venue (not a VFW type or hotel chain) who sees DJs come and go. The caretaker and I chatted for a spell and told me I was the only DJ who she actually liked - all the others were annoying. Loves my setup and get this, enjoyed how I played by their rules yet made a great time for the couple.

Now she is having me fast tracked to get on their preferred list and is referring me to couples. I might also add she worked for a top catering company in the area as well, so she has seen her share of DJs.

We only met once. I just made sure it was a good impression. And now she is an advocate for me.

Moral? Sucking up, butt kissing, etc can be done by anyone at anytime. True wedding professionals know it and will 'play you back'. Kinda like 'mental masturbation'. Just be yourself and keep it real. The rest will take care of itself.
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MM!!!! Is that for peeps with no hands?:tribiggrin:
 
ahoustondj said:
MM!!!! Is that for peeps with no hands?:tribiggrin:
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No, that's when you actually know how to use your brain to.... mmmhhh you know!!!! You should try it it's beyond THE FORCE yorofl:yorofl:yorofl:yorofl:yorofl:
 
Just got an email from the manager at that venue I sent the card to. They are having an open house for brides that are booked there with vendors. Only allowing 1 of each. Guess who they invited? I haven't accepted because it is during deer hunting so I am still thinking about it.

Don't care what you call it, it works.
 
Take the deer with you and offer it as a Door Prize to a Lucky Bride To Be. :tribiggrin:
 
Maybe some steaks. A dead dear tends to drip blood and shed hair.
 
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