An example of a wedding agenda

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Sounds To Go said:
You never stated this explicitly, but it is implicit, and your justification regarding this using respecting of the religious sensibilities of the guests is at best a rationalization.
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And therein lies the problem. Your presumptive inference created fact in your mind when none existed.

While I don't agree with Tom's staunch position on this issue, I certainly understand the right to and having the capacity of being able to politely refuse work for any reason, including one's religious devotion. Reasons based on one's faith don't offend me the way they seems to offend you, even though "You never stated this explicitly, but it is implicit."

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Is this yours S2G?
 
Sounds To Go said:
Couple tells you at first meeting that they, and every one of their invited guests is either atheistic, or agnostic.

No attendee of the event would give a rats patoot about any sort of religious rite, and who knows - some of them might even be uncomfortable if one were present.

Since your stated intentions about the sensibilities of the guests were the sole motivating factor and consideration, would you gladly move along after they say this and dj their event, and help to coordinate a dinner service that included no blessing at all with nary a peep?

No wiggle room here. You would have to. UNLESS.... there were other considerations, motivations, or agendas present....
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Actually, if I were continuing on in this business, I would take on the event with the following stipulations:

1. I would bring in my own water that I have already given thanks for ahead of time to keep hydrated (which I do now anyway). If they object to that then they can keep on looking.
2. Since it is my policy to thank God for the meal and I will not be allowed to at their reception then I will not be partaking of any food at their reception no matter how much they insist.

Even athiests are entitled to a great DJ for their wedding reception. Yes, you should implicitly read that I am a great DJ. I've been told that by many clients so it must be true.

Now, I wonder if the atheists and agnostics really know that much of the wedding traditions are actually deeply associated with religion. Most of it is in the ceremony, which I figure your couple will not have; they'll probably just have the JoP do a quickie "do you" type deal. But, what can you expect from an increasingly godless society?
 
Ken thanks man that was a great bit of information. I enjoyed our phone conversation and again I say humbly you taught me something. Having been to the PI and had many friends and clients I was unaware of this tradition and thats sort of one of my passions to know the details in this case. Perhaps while feeling a false comfort zone with the Filipino people on many occasions I didnt research deeper. I appreciate the wake up call.
 
djrox said:
I certainly understand the right to and having the capacity of being able to politely refuse work for any reason, including one's religious devotion.
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So do I. But you just make that decision and walk away. You don't impose changes (even with a threat"a seemingly harmless as them having to find another dj which IS STILL a THREAT made in an effort to sway a decision and impose a matter of faith) to an event or a couple's previously agreed-upon desire in that area. You make a stand on your conviction and walk away like a man. You don't try, consciously or not to impose an article of your faith or practice onto others - even if you are convinced within your OWN mind that the real BASE justification is an altruistic concern for the guests attending.


djrox said:
Reasons based on one's faith don't offend me the way they seems to offend you, even though "You never stated this explicitly, but it is implicit."
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Reasons based on faith don't offend me. The pushing and imposing of articles faith or religious rites - even when masked as concern for others is what offends me.
 
GoodKnightDJ said:
Actually, if I were continuing on in this business, I would take on the event with the following stipulations:
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Good!

GoodKnightDJ said:
1. I would bring in my own water that I have already given thanks for ahead of time to keep hydrated (which I do now anyway). If they object to that then they can keep on looking.
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Not for everyone, but fair enough... bring 5 bottles! Hell, a 2-liter!

GoodKnightDJ said:
2. Since it is my policy to thank God for the meal and I will not be allowed to at their reception then I will not be partaking of any food at their reception no matter how much they insist.
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Okay.. well.. this borders on being overly sanctimonious. You know as well as I do that you could offer a silent thanks in your own way for whatever you are about to partake in... How could they possibly object TO THAT if they don't even know you're GOING to do it?!?!?

WHY would they HAVE to know up front you will be blessing anything ahead of time and doing a silent blessing for you meal?

The only answer for that is that you want or have a need to be seen, or have it known you are doing it... which harkens back to the biblical passage I referenced before... and shame on you. Nobody has to be aware that you are doing ANYTHING at ALL.

You can be as animated or discrete as you care to be in your observance of your blessing.

Just DO IT!

GoodKnightDJ said:
Yes, you should implicitly read that I am a great DJ. I've been told that by many clients so it must be true.
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I do not contend otherwise at all my friend - I have no reason to believe you're not a great dj.

GoodKnightDJ said:
Now, I wonder if the atheists and agnostics really know that much of the wedding traditions are actually deeply associated with religion. Most of it is in the ceremony, which I figure your couple will not have; they'll probably just have the JoP do a quickie "do you" type deal. But, what can you expect from an increasingly godless society?
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Of course they know the religious origins. They just don't adhere to them the way you do, or at all.
 
Sounds To Go said:
WHY would they HAVE to know up front you will be blessing anything ahead of time and doing a silent blessing for you meal?
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Sorry, but my grace includes the sign of the cross. It is part of my Catholic tradition. It is not to be seen, it is tradition and indicate that what I am doing is in the name of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.

Also, grace is not a blessing of the food. Grace is thanking God for it.

Since they will not allow me to make the sign of the cross then I must decline the food.
 
GoodKnightDJ said:
Sorry, but my grace includes the sign of the cross. It is part of my Catholic tradition. It is not to be seen, it is tradition and indicate that what I am doing is in the name of the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.

Also, grace is not a blessing of the food. Grace is thanking God for it.

Since they will not allow me to make the sign of the cross then I must decline the food.
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As I mentioned - this gesture can be as subtle or ornate as you choose to make it.
 
Since they will not allow me to make the sign of the cross then I must decline the food.
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And I doubt you've not declined that much.

Tom has his own believes and he is welcome to them. He must be in an area where there are others of his kind that welcome his believes. But make no mistake about it. In his business it's all about him. What he wants and when he wants it. If a client doesn't like that then they are welcome to find someone else. Someone who will make the day about the Bride and Groom first.

Is it November yet?


Here's a few of my favorite quotes from Tom in this thread.

Folks, I have run into some dillies in my time as a DJ.
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And they have as well with you. Thank God it's guys like you that make the rest look good.:sqwink:

What Jon and Ron don't get and what I must explain is this, I don't force them to have a blessing. If they don't wish to have a blessing then they just won't have me as their DJ. It is that simple.
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And if they choose not to and they don't get you then that in of itself is a blessing. Covered.

It has been my experience that people that don't care about their guests, like Ron, are poor hosts. Honestly, I wouldn't even want to be an invited guest at something Ron hosts.
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Good, I'd hate to bring the party down having some guy sitting in the corner alone making the sign of the cross and mumbling to himself. Although it would be amusing conversation for the rest of the guests. Free entertainment.

This is just to easy.:sqwink:

Tom, I do love you man, really I do.
 
Ken thanks

must be a big Regional thing here
because what you just said I have never done at all, the bride and groom want it as simple as anything, get in, get married, get out and on holiday as soon as they can...

so over the years what they say was traditional isnt anymore
they want to party and dance not do all these tradional things that can take ages to do... no thanks and over the last 5x years I have done less and less boquet and garter

basicly they just dont want it - so I dont push it...
 
And while we are talking about agendas...

I e-mail a copy to:
Photographer
Videographer
Caterer
Banquet Hall
Bride and Groom

The day of I always make sure that I have at least five copies on hand. Two are for my assistant and I and the rest for whomever forgot there's.
 
All i do is have a spare copy ready in case

but as for emailing other vendors for me not possible
I get no info from any bride and groom even after you ask etc etc

unless you make your own liost up on every vendor (which for me is a nightmare)

that to me is a added cost for doing it all....
 
DjDennis said:
but as for emailing other vendors for me not possible
I get no info from any bride and groom even after you ask etc etc
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I get that information at the finalization, which is usually 30 days prior to the wedding. My clients are usually good about getting it to me that very day. I explain to them that I want to get the information to the other vendors so that we can all be on the same page and being on the same page makes the day go better. That usually helps give them incentive to get me the information.

Now, another point in regard to the agenda is the actual construction of it at the finalization.

I use DJEP; however, not all brides are good at filling out the timeline. The biggest concern for most is the music. Oh well, that's life.

If they've filled out the timeline, that's my starting point. DJEP gives it to me as a spreadsheet and that's what I like. If they haven't, I have a template to work with. I'll post my Excel template later. Please remind me.

If they have not completed the timeline (99%) then I have them meet with the caterer to get the meal time. From there it is a simple thing to work backwards for the frontend activities and then forwards for the after-meal activities.

If they have given me a timeline I just verify and tweak.
 
Well as for timelines does everything have to be exact on time ?

I had a sargent major as a FOB come up when the original details was being done
he said it all had to run as per time to the SECOND

I said yep no worries thats easy... (wait till you hear what happened on the day)

on the day of the wedding I had the FOB come in and say well you can screw up the times and play by ear everything is changed and nothing is on time so do what you know what you do

now that to me is the best way because if you can make up time someplace else (when something is taking too long) then you know how experienced you really are when you dont have to worry about times

eg:

you have entry at 6pm and they come in at 6:15
the dinner/meal is running late because meat isnt just ready yeat after asking what people want for a meal (its not a buffet mean its sit down and served to each person)

I can then ask when needs changing around what can be done to increase time for say dancing or whatever the case maybe

if they have speeches after main meal then have the champane served earlier
have speaches / toasts done before sweets instead of after sweets as planned

look thats why I wouldnt even worry about time wise its more murphy's law that happens to control a wedding

whatever will happen, will happen

now if you look again at my agenda notice there is NO times what so ever
its simple it does what needs doing and straight to the point

if I need to add anything, then its over the page for that

have a great day
 
Dennis:

I only put times on as a guide.The bottom of the agenda has a caveat that the times may be changed to enhance the flow of events.

I find that I can organize things better with times on it as well.

You're right, things can get screwed up.

I've had photos at the ceremony go long. I've had pictures at the reception go long. OK, it sounds like it is the photographers fault most of the time. Sorry Kirby. :sqwink:

Seriously, I've had a traffic accident block a main road coming in. Except for a few guests that went directly to the reception, the caterer, and me, all were about an hour late for that one. Even the caterer had a delay because she was using just-in-time food delivery from her restaurant. The restaurant was only a few blocks from the venue but they got stuck in the traffic jam from the accident.
 
Exactly, which is why I don't deal in times except for Key events like dinner, couple arrival, etc.

It is never going to pan out on-time.

As long as you have the order down and know how to maintain and manipulate the flow, you'll be good to GO!
 
Sounds To Go said:
Exactly, which is why I don't deal in times except for Key events like dinner, couple arrival, etc.

It is never going to pan out on-time.

As long as you have the order down and know how to maintain and manipulate the flow, you'll be good to GO!
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For you...remember.:sqwink:

Most prudent professionals prefer (I love alliteration) a set time, that in practice is not etched in stone, but provides a real tangible guide of expectations.

It provides a clear plan for all the professionals, they always appreciate it, and when adjustments are necessary it gives everyone something to effort toward so that everything the client wants to occur, actually occurs. It is impossible to run out if time when you have planned and accounted for the time in advance.

There are so many benefits to a set timed schedule, I would not want to return to any other procedure.
 
djrox said:
For you...remember.:sqwink:

Most prudent professionals prefer (I love alliteration) a set time, that in practice is not etched in stone, but provides a real tangible guide of expectations.

It provides a clear plan for all the professionals, they always appreciate it, and when adjustments are necessary it gives everyone something to effort toward so that everything the client wants to occur, actually occurs. It is impossible to run out if time when you have planned and accounted for the time in advance.

There are so many benefits to a set timed schedule, I would not want to return to any other procedure.
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Of course... what works for you works for you.... YMMV as we say here.

I have never "run out of time" at an event, and have seen no perceptible benefit to laying times to events.

It could just as easily be argued, perhaps even more strongly, that professionals of a certain caliper, all working off the same clearly written itinerary with an order of events and robust communication amongst themselves at the event wouldn't NEED times at all!

Of course such a utopian set of circumstances is may not be so common in certain areas - but I have never run into any timing issues at events that could have been headed off by having "pre-determined times" for events, even if as a "rough guideline."

It just isn't an issue, and all those times do is weigh on the mind of the bride unecessarily and get the coordinator-planner in a stupor.

All attempts at 100% adherence to times do is add undue and unnecessary stress for all involved.

Again, if you know how to maintain and manipulate the flow of the event, you're fine.
 
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