How many people are doing this in your area.... I hate this with a passion. I even try to "lightly" suggest not doing it.... a very fine line to walk... I find it utterly tasteless and tacky.
The cake smash.....
- Thread starter Papa Deuce
- Start date
G
Guest
Guest
It happens.
It happens often enough that I am preped for it.
"Wipeout" - Surfaris is cued the entire time the cake is being done.
I do, in consultation, say "Your cake is there to do as only the two of you see fit. Please remember, we are moving right into (insert next activity) immediately afterwards. Remember make-up smears, cake itches later in the night, and you are paying a photographer to be there - even if we need to hold things up a bit for a quick run to the little bride's room to clean up afterwards."
The message gets across, but it's a moment in time that is not mine to judge nor change.
It happens often enough that I am preped for it.
"Wipeout" - Surfaris is cued the entire time the cake is being done.
I do, in consultation, say "Your cake is there to do as only the two of you see fit. Please remember, we are moving right into (insert next activity) immediately afterwards. Remember make-up smears, cake itches later in the night, and you are paying a photographer to be there - even if we need to hold things up a bit for a quick run to the little bride's room to clean up afterwards."
The message gets across, but it's a moment in time that is not mine to judge nor change.
Ken - Great advice, and a great example that all the prep work in the world can't eliminate certain inevitable conclusions. However, it is also a GREAT example of how we, as professionals, can anticipate that conclusion, and be ready for it.
(I'm also going to steal the idea of have "Wipeout" ready to go, with your kind permission!)
I am almost ALWAYS in favor of Ken's ideas.... in this one case, I think this is a bad idea.... I think it draws more attention to a bad situation... and by adding comedy to it, makes it appear acceptable.
I have seen brides cry over this. And I know of one who fled to the bathroom and didn't come out for an hour.
I'm not doing ANYTHING to condone, or appear to condone this behavior, whether the B & G are cool with it or not.
If they do it, they do it, but I ain't helping to make it look like it is acceptable.
Just my .02 .
on that one factor no not Jay ya big dummy sort of like playing the cops theme or the benny hill song when a fight breaks out in a corner out of view of the audience or even on the dancefloor. IT probably works for Ken but I dont choose to highlight either. OF course here in Canada they dont use that relic of a technic. If one were to mention it I would say well we certainly can do whatever you want done but its considered out of fashion these days. Ive seen certain frostings destroy a 15000 dollar dress.
GMTA....been using the first :10 seconds of "Wipeout" for nearly 16 years.
Lately, about 90% of my clients have NOT been smashing the cake.
When I first started out in the biz, about 60% of couples were doing the "smash". I remember many an occasion where the bride needed time to "clean up afterwards" (many of them crying in the bathroom & refusing to come out for the first dance).
I'm wondering if MAYBE the divorce rate in CA is going to be lower as the # of couples that truly respect each other in public, is INCREASING.
G
Guest
Guest
I am going to quote another DJ at the moment I can't remember who made the statement.
When it comes to feeding each other the cake. First I mention how beautiful the cake is. I then say the feeding each other wedding cake takes from a tradition of providing nourishment and caring for each other through out their lives. We will now have a glimpse into what it will be like in the "Smith" household. Has worked every time. I also deter the couple in advance of doing the cake smashing, too many crying or upset brides.
I don't know how true the tradition I quoted is, but it works for me.
When it comes to feeding each other the cake. First I mention how beautiful the cake is. I then say the feeding each other wedding cake takes from a tradition of providing nourishment and caring for each other through out their lives. We will now have a glimpse into what it will be like in the "Smith" household. Has worked every time. I also deter the couple in advance of doing the cake smashing, too many crying or upset brides.
I don't know how true the tradition I quoted is, but it works for me.
K
Kirby Ball
Guest
I can only recall one incident of this, and they really didn't "smash" the cake, but instead "playfully" took some icing and had a little fun...and the Bride started it! 
Otherwise (as far as I can recall) the others were gentle and respectful of each other while going through this ritual.
Kirby
Otherwise (as far as I can recall) the others were gentle and respectful of each other while going through this ritual.
Kirby
G
Guest
Guest
I ask if they are planning to do it. It is their wedding and I neither encourage or discourage it; however, I do ask if they mind if I tease their guests a bit and most don't have a problem with it.
I like the wipeout idea.
I do put the cake cutting after all the other activities where photos could be taken just incase the bride and groom do smash.
I did have one wedding with a coordinator where the coordinator insisted that the cake cutting be before the garter, etc. This was a new coordinator and she would not listen to my voice of experience. I told her that if they did smash cake then they would have to get cleaned up before the other activities. She told me that they said that they wouldn't smash cake.
They smashed cake.
I've worked with this coordinator since and she has changed her style. She's one of the best in the area now and goes out of her way to listen to the other vendors.
I like the wipeout idea.
I do put the cake cutting after all the other activities where photos could be taken just incase the bride and groom do smash.
I did have one wedding with a coordinator where the coordinator insisted that the cake cutting be before the garter, etc. This was a new coordinator and she would not listen to my voice of experience. I told her that if they did smash cake then they would have to get cleaned up before the other activities. She told me that they said that they wouldn't smash cake.
They smashed cake.
I've worked with this coordinator since and she has changed her style. She's one of the best in the area now and goes out of her way to listen to the other vendors.
I actively discourage cake smashing, and usually the bride is right there giving him 'the look' when this topic comes up. A dab of frosting on the nose is just as effective.
Occasionally there is the cake smash, which means the bride (and what seems like every other woman in the place) heads off to the bathroom to clean her up.
Occasionally there is the cake smash, which means the bride (and what seems like every other woman in the place) heads off to the bathroom to clean her up.
Am I out of the loop here? As in cake "Smashing" are we talking about when they playfully put a little cake on each others face??? If so, why the big uproar over it?
Maybe what is being talked about here is something I have no idea about, like "Smashing" the whole cake on each other.
I'm the lost guy out there!
Maybe what is being talked about here is something I have no idea about, like "Smashing" the whole cake on each other.
I'm the lost guy out there!
Like smashing quite a consderable amount of cake on each other.... Besides, the tradition of feeding cake is about each person providing nourishment for the other. It really became / becomes perverted at times.
A found quite a few sites that explain this tradition, but this one takes the cake:
http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/cakehistory.htm
http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/cakehistory.htm
We don't care for the practice either... but as Jon says, it's their choice to make. It does make for a mess to clean up. 
We have seen it happen at the VFW and at very upscale weddings in expensive rented houses. From what I understand, it isn't always planned. Sometimes... but not always.
I remember the time it occurred at a rather nice, backyard wedding. The B&G were around our age (over 40ish) and simply the most wonderful people one could care to meet. All the guests were nice, as a matter of fact. When time to do the cake, the bride decided to do a little face painting with it and the groom followed suit.
Afterwards, the bride came over to our setup area for some Wet Ones... and placed her right hand on the top of one of our new dually 15 cabinets to steady herself. This was the first engagement where we'd used them. Yup, she smeared cake frosting on a brand-new speaker cab.
She was quite embarassed about it. I dismissed the whole thing... it'll clean up, I reassured her. They all had a fun time and danced on the lawn that evening.
We have seen it happen at the VFW and at very upscale weddings in expensive rented houses. From what I understand, it isn't always planned. Sometimes... but not always.
I remember the time it occurred at a rather nice, backyard wedding. The B&G were around our age (over 40ish) and simply the most wonderful people one could care to meet. All the guests were nice, as a matter of fact. When time to do the cake, the bride decided to do a little face painting with it and the groom followed suit.
Afterwards, the bride came over to our setup area for some Wet Ones... and placed her right hand on the top of one of our new dually 15 cabinets to steady herself. This was the first engagement where we'd used them. Yup, she smeared cake frosting on a brand-new speaker cab.
She was quite embarassed about it. I dismissed the whole thing... it'll clean up, I reassured her. They all had a fun time and danced on the lawn that evening.