Weddings What are your red flags during the interview?

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I think Bill, Wiz, and Sounds to go need to go back to this:

GoodKnightDJ said:
As I indicated, again, I only ran into one person that said that they would not have the blessing and when I addressed the concern about their guests wishes they told me that they did not care. My decision to reject them as a client was not based on whether they wanted to have a blessing or not, it was based on the fact that they were not being considerate of their guests. I have experience that shows that hosts that are not considerate of their guests are poor hosts and have poor events; that is, they tend to be selfcentered and inconsiderate. They also tend to be micromanagers. This is my experience, your mileage may vary.

Now, had they told me that they would not be having a formal blessing and that the guests may bow their head if they so desired I would have asked if I could make an announcement to that effect. I may have also asked if they wished me to make a blessing for them. This never came up.

Since I included the question in the interview I have only run into the one problem. All of the rest have either included a the blessing or, when asked, indicated that they really had not considered their guests and agreed that a blessing would be a good idea for those of a religious bent.
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What would I have done if they had said no blessing and nothing further? The point is moot since I am not continuing and not doing anymore interviews. Anything else I say on that would be pure speculation.

What happens now if a current client changes their mind and decides not to have a formal blessing? I am not going to force a blessing on them but if I am requested to partake of any food by them I will say grace myself to God. I always thank God for the blessing of food. When I personally say grace I don't make a scene or try to be public about it; it is a solem personal moment. If they object, TFB. If they make a scene, "Excuse me folks, I don't have to take this", the gear gets shut down, packed up, and I'm out of there.

A few years back, when my wife was still working with me, we were invited to participate in the meal. Now, honestly, most times I don't eat at events because I get in the zone; however, this one had been an early day for the both of us and we were hungry. When we received our meal at a table that was designated for the vendors we proceed to say grace. For Catholics this consists of crossing ourselves and then saying words like, "Bless us oh Lord and these gifts we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ oh Lord, Amen." Simple and sweet. There was plenty of din in the room so I know nobody, except very nearby, heard us. The photographer, a fellow Catholic, joined us in grace. Well, the bride must have seen us cross ourselves and came over screaming, and I mean screaming, "What are you doing?" I told her that since there was no formal blessing, it is our practice to say grace before we eat. Now, she was well within her rights to object and, at that point my wife and I and the photographer had already said grace. At that point in my life I may have apologized for offending her and left the meal as was if I had been given the chance to get a word in edgewise; however, this lady absolutely went off. My wife and I were literally afraid for our lives in this situation. We and the photographer literally got up and moved away. I shut down my gear, packed up, and we and the photographer left. I literally had no contact with that client since. I honestly think she was possessed because of the way she was acting and I could tell that she scared several of her guests.

It was that incident that made me include the part about the blessing in future interviews. As I indicated above, only one since said that they would not have a formal blessing and that was because they did not care about their guests. I honestly don't know what I would have done if they had said that they were not going to have a formal blessing without qualifying it with that they don't care about their guests. As I said, since I am leaving the business, the point is moot.

Now, what are other red flags others have come up with.
 
I would say about half our weddings they choose not to do a blessing but they have also been very considerate of there guests choices of music and there guests having a good time. To me even as a Christian it is a non issue. If it where an issue I would not be a Christian that is a DJ but a Christian DJ instead and there is a difference.

Now for me the bigger red flag would be the extensive playlist of must plays and not taking requests. Then that tells me they don't care about there guests. Its also something that I have added into my contract and limits I put into DJ Intelligence.

They can choose up to (10) Must plays (10) do not plays and up to (50) play if you cans. And I tell them the 50 play if you cans are simply a guide for me to learn our bride and groom and there family and friends musical tastes. The added statement in my contract was from someone else on the board It may have even been Cap I'm not sure.

The statement is 1. DJ will have moderate creative control of music and client may not program all music selections.


If they question this statement and some have. I tell them it is placed in there to keep our brides and grooms from commiting wedding reception suicide. And then I explain the why's and what for's.
 
GoodKnightDJ said:
I think Bill, Wiz, and Sounds to go need to go back to this:



What would I have done if they had said no blessing and nothing further? The point is moot since I am not continuing and not doing anymore interviews. Anything else I say on that would be pure speculation.

What happens now if a current client changes their mind and decides not to have a formal blessing? I am not going to force a blessing on them but if I am requested to partake of any food by them I will say grace myself to God. I always thank God for the blessing of food. When I personally say grace I don't make a scene or try to be public about it; it is a solem personal moment. If they object, TFB. If they make a scene, "Excuse me folks, I don't have to take this", the gear gets shut down, packed up, and I'm out of there.

A few years back, when my wife was still working with me, we were invited to participate in the meal. Now, honestly, most times I don't eat at events because I get in the zone; however, this one had been an early day for the both of us and we were hungry. When we received our meal at a table that was designated for the vendors we proceed to say grace. For Catholics this consists of crossing ourselves and then saying words like, "Bless us oh Lord and these gifts we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ oh Lord, Amen." Simple and sweet. There was plenty of din in the room so I know nobody, except very nearby, heard us. The photographer, a fellow Catholic, joined us in grace. Well, the bride must have seen us cross ourselves and came over screaming, and I mean screaming, "What are you doing?" I told her that since there was no formal blessing, it is our practice to say grace before we eat. Now, she was well within her rights to object and, at that point my wife and I and the photographer had already said grace. At that point in my life I may have apologized for offending her and left the meal as was if I had been given the chance to get a word in edgewise; however, this lady absolutely went off. My wife and I were literally afraid for our lives in this situation. We and the photographer literally got up and moved away. I shut down my gear, packed up, and we and the photographer left. I literally had no contact with that client since. I honestly think she was possessed because of the way she was acting and I could tell that she scared several of her guests.

It was that incident that made me include the part about the blessing in future interviews. As I indicated above, only one since said that they would not have a formal blessing and that was because they did not care about their guests. I honestly don't know what I would have done if they had said that they were not going to have a formal blessing without qualifying it with that they don't care about their guests. As I said, since I am leaving the business, the point is moot.

Now, what are other red flags others have come up with.
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I can honestly say Tom as a fellow Christian and former Catholic that this was not about religion but about a crazy person. I know many people of different religious beliefs and athiests and none and I mean non would have done this.
 
"My decision to reject them as a client was not based on whether they wanted to have a blessing or not, it was based on the fact that they were not being considerate of their guests."

That's fine Tom - keep saying it over and over again and it magically makes it right, justified, rational... whatever qualification you happen to be looking for. :sqwink:

Bottom line is that it is not your place - even in your heavy-handed passive aggressive manner, to dictate to them the content of their event. They are the one's hiring you - NOT the room full of guests. The guests do not need you to come in and champion their religious sensibilities.

Here;s the flip-side of the "consideration" thing that no one has brought up - when you invite people into your house, the biggest burden of "consideration" for these types of things by default lies on THE GUESTS and works back towards the hosts.

When you are a guest, you are just that - a guest. All considerations and compromises go FROM YOU to the host. It is understood that you won't get to do things "your way."

Would it be a perfect world if every host met every invitees requirements for being "a good host?" Perhaps.

When you are a guest entering someone else's house, you are either leaving your shoes outside the door when you walk in or AREN'T based on THEIR way of doing things - not yours.

Its a sign of respect for their graciousness in even asking your lame arse in anyway! :sqlaugh:
 
Hey she didnt hire you to put on a holy roller speaking in tongues effort Thom. It was her day not yours you were hired to play music and perhaps make announcements as directed. I dont get it. She had a right to be irate. If you were so inclined to swear or even speak in tongues while preparing to sit down and eat did you think it was your house? The Lord supposedly knows your thoughts, thus you could have easily done it in your mind. You negated your contract unless it stated you would be blessing food. Come on a woman threatening your life? Uncomfortable perhaps but life threatening much like the Rodney King effort exaggerated fear was the motive.
 
my red flags have NOTHING to do with the blessing.
if they dont want one, it's fine with me!
If they have (religious) guests who are expecting it...
those guests can say their own prayer to themselves.

it's much like prayer in school.
if you REALLY wanna take your guests into consideration, you also have to consider those who are NOT religious, not the same denomination, or not the same religion.
what if the room was filled with atheists, muslims, catholics, and jewish?

of course, if they do not consider their guests when choosing music and such...
yes! thats a RED FLAG for me!
I always tell the b/g that MY job is to make the guests happy.
and if I make the guests happy, the b/g will be happy.
(as others have stated above)
 
I know that if I was looking for a DJ and the DJ thought i didn't care enough about my guests because I chose not to have a blessing, I would certainly be glad that he walked away.

Call it anything you want, but I would take that as the DJ REALLY wanting a blessing. He has no idea about my guests and had NO IDEA what they want or what % really wants a blessing. I would be willing to bet that in any guest list you took a poll in, some would want it, some wouldn't, and some wouldn't care. The fact is someone's decision needs to be the one. It might as well be the bride and groom. I've done events without a blessing and I see no connection between not having a blessing and having a bossy bride that is not concerned about her guests.

I totally respect any DJ's right to not accept a job for whatever reason. I also respect people's right to an opinion as to why the DJ turned it down.
 
Visit here to get the script and see how the question about the blessing is delivered and how it fits in.
 
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