"I want 100% control of the playlist", says the bride

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Bingo!

Cap Capello said:
After insuring that she understood that taking complete charge of the music also means taking full responsibility for the outcome, that I am there only as an employee with no decision powers and I cannot be held responsible for any of her choices, and that to insure that all her family, friends, and guest were on-board with her decisions and choices, this would be sequenced on my video screen throughout the night:

playlistdisclaimer.jpg


and she had no problem with any of this, yes, I'd enjoy brainlessly working for her.

If she balked at any of the aforementioned, that means she's throwing me under the bus in which case I decline the event with gratitude for the opportunity to speak with her.
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Mine is Sunday. They have choosen all 175 songs in 5 hours. No requests here. I was told to pick the best from the list.
 
Papa Deuce said:
You guys are missing my point.... what if there is NO MAKING HER BUDGE even a bit? Regardless of how you explain it.

Do you STILL want the event? Simple. Would you work with a client who offered ZERO flexibility in what you play?
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I'd pay the Decideo fee, get the contact information, and call her.

When I talk to her I'd ask how much control she wants and why: That is, does she want to pick all the songs and let me program it or does she want to specify the programming as well?

If she allows me to program then I'd ask for some of the songs top see what the list is like. If here list is good, not a problem. If her list sucks, read on.

If her why is because she saw another DJ that screwed somebody's wedding up because of their poor skills at reading a dance floor or programming music, then I'd point her to these words on my web site.

There are two things that help determine a successful wedding reception:

1. Marry the one that you love.
2. Be a good host to your guests.

In regard to being a good host, please consider that while this may be your day but if you are not a good host for the day, it can become embarrassing and possibly stain relationships with people you love and care for. Being a good host may mean that you don't always get what you want but what will make your guests happy. We will help you be a good host to your guests.
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I would point out that by restricting the playlist she may not be keeping her guests happy and they will show their protest of that by leaving. If enough guests leave then the party will come to an early end and she will ahve wasted money. I would then use this example:

Suppose you are paying $30,000 for your wedding. Considering that most weddings, counting the ceremony, take around five hours, that comes to $6,000 an hour. If your guests leave causing the party to come to an end two hours early, you have just wasted $12,000.
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That is a GWYW approach but it is also a practical approach.

When it comes down to it, if she is going to be that restrictive, I am going to tack a PITA fee of about $500 on to it but I would still do it.

I would also be making this announcement:

Ladies and gentlemen, Jack and Jill have selected a list of songs that they know you will all love so we will not be taking any requests.
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And if anyone comes up to make requests I would reenforce the announcement by reminding that the bride and groom have already picked out the playlist. One of three things will happen at that point; the B&G will change their minds after they get tired of complaints; the B&G will ask you to stop telling people that (but I would continue anyway); or people will leave and ypu'll get to go home early.
 
I would also take this event. Her intention of a playlist may be a good one. Of course that is to be determined during our first meeting. Then I would explain how I would format and blend her music together for the evening. If she is willing to pay my rate it would not hurt me any for taking this event. A DJ is hired to play the music of the client. Even if it's music we don't like.
 
DJ John The 1: If you had a chance to see the rock and the hard place dilemma I have for an event this weekend, you would probably recommend me to taking a tail pipe.

Ten pages of emails, planner forms, and notes. The expectation levels are so high, the MUST PLAY demands so contradictory, the DON'T PLAY demands so contradictory, the sheer numbers of extraordinary solo-specialty dances [clear the dance floor for them] (there are 9 songs, 8 slow, 1 hip hop) are a supreme challenge even to the most experienced.

Bride wants mostly festive hip hop but no rap, then lists two rap tracks in her top ten plus Zeppelin, Def Leppard, AC-DC,and ZZ Top, the full Silly Set (both slides, chicken, macarena, and two country line dances which her Mom will select at the event.

Oh boy, I think I'm a dead man.

Knowing there will be little-to-no pity nor quarter given here, and to possibly stifle the silent evil chuckles of, "Good, f him, the bald jerk", greater steps have been taken for this event than any before, including strict time lining the entire event, scripting the majority of the announcements, making absolutely no judgments in the planner or script, and by laying everything out there in non-emotional, blue-print like details, anyone can see the good, the bad, and the ugly, then sent it to my clients for review and sign off. If they do not respond, that will be noted as well. A copy will be sent to the caterer and the shooters and I will be asking them if they have been requested any extraordinary activities that are going to involve me, which would really throw a wrench at my noggin, but at least not a surprise one.

I hope she's really happy with her choices, I pray her guests will be too, and have promised myself to give my very best to insure both.
 
Fred Stewart said:
what else will she be controlling?

I'll go further than that ~ who is involved in creating this playlist? Are there gonna be middle school-aged pups piling their rap and headbanging tastes on the list? I've seen it happen.

Let's don a different pair of shoes for a moment: Suppose we were ourcateringtalk.com and this scenario arose for discussion. How many of us would give the bride 100% absolute authority over how we were to serve her guests?

Take a stroll in the photographer's shoes. Same scenario. How professional a photography job could ya do if the bride was leaning over your shoulder and dictating your shots? Yup I've seen that happen too.

Some great arguments for taking the show have been made. The folks who would be willing to pursue a show of this nature have my respect. I'm just sayin' it doesn't come across as a positive working environment for an experienced wedding DJ.

What about the groom? Is he gonna have a say in anything? How about the guests? Are you supposed to send 'em to the bride every time you're asked to play something that's not on the playlist?

Sorry, guys but I'd pass on this one. Wolfie's not a jukebox and I don't wish to be portrayed as one in the guests' eyes. :)
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just remember Fred whos paying the money ?
what the bride wants isnt what the bride gets
or in other words

The CLIENT is always right
 
Thanks, Dennis.

Yeah, the client is always right. I agree with this. She's the one who's signing my paycheck and I do what she says.

That's if I decide to work for her.

A little history: Folks, I've walked into venues where the client suddenly decided to dictate the types and genres of music to be played. No sooner than I got out of the truck and went to the office, there she was with the demands. No regard to guests' preferences nor requests. All it was was "None of this, no that etc." Then I look like the bad guy, no matter what I do. :eek:

Granted, these were billed as dance venues. Some wedding receptions aren't dance venues. When that's the case, well it probably doesn't matter if the bride dictates what's played.

Folks, maybe it's me... but I'm a believer in first impressions. This bride's first impression is "I want 100% control over the music." That's not what I'd call a good first impression from someone who is supposedly host to a houseful of invited guests.

To me, that statement says it all. That's obviously her priority and all I needed to hear. This engagement is not a good fit for us. Money ain't everything.

Sure, you could pay for the contact info and try to find out a little more. You may be able to change her mind, you may not. All I'm sayin' is... in my experience, when some people have their minds set from the git-go, trying to change them is asking for grief later on down the road. There's plenty of time before the wedding for her to go back to her original mindset. And she might even possess the courtesy to call and tell you that they've decided to maintain control over the music anyway. So there you are.

Pardon me but I run a DJ company, not a psychiatry practice. I'd much rather work for the bride who says "We want the DJ to keep everyone dancing and having a good time." :)

Again, she doesn't need a wedding DJ. She needs a jukebox. Last time I looked in the mirror (yuck) there wasn't a Rockola logo plate on my forehead. ;)
 
The one I had like this last year, where the B&G wanted about 30 "indie" (independent artist, mostly unknown) songs play, and a DO NOT PLAY list of anything from the 70's, 80's, or 90's that is not on their play list, which did include Sexy Back. During the first meeting before booking I ask them if their friends and family liked "their music", they said no not really. I then told them it would be a very short reception. They gave me a funny look, but continued to listen. The meeting went on and I gave them a price, about $150 over my normal quote. They called me about 2 weeks later and ask if I could do the reception, and that they would cut their list down and let me play music the guests would enjoy. I picked out some of the better "indie" songs, and played for the crowd. The bride has since referred me twice.
 
For me it isn't that hard, If the money is right I would take the job with a 200 song play list you can pretty much put together a great night regardless of the genre of music chosen.

I wouldn't advise, beg, plead or explain to the bride i would take what I was given and make it work.

Out of a 200 song playlist you would need roughly 12 hours to play it, so for a 6 hour reception you would be in pretty good shape.
 
I just recalled one time turning away a gig cause the client owned a bar and wanted to chase a element out of the bar in other words PLAY crappy music. I told him Im sorry none of my music is of that category. Yes JTV didnt work in that Pub.
 
MBM said:
The one I had like this last year, where the B&G wanted about 30 "indie" (independent artist, mostly unknown) songs play, and a DO NOT PLAY list of anything from the 70's, 80's, or 90's that is not on their play list, which did include Sexy Back. During the first meeting before booking I ask them if their friends and family liked "their music", they said no not really. I then told them it would be a very short reception. They gave me a funny look, but continued to listen. The meeting went on and I gave them a price, about $150 over my normal quote. They called me about 2 weeks later and ask if I could do the reception, and that they would cut their list down and let me play music the guests would enjoy. I picked out some of the better "indie" songs, and played for the crowd. The bride has since referred me twice.
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Well done, Mike... It CAN be done.
 
Lately, I've been taking the "Brides are like buses" philosophy (another one in 20 minutes).

If you're getting enough direct web site hits/visits.....there will be multiple inquiries for any given date!

(Hence, I turned away a Bridezilla similar to Papa's example for 5-16-09----sure enough, another couple called me for the SAME DATE and price, and its a done deal---just got their deposit/contract in today's mail)
 
I would pass unless we agree on the songs and I control the order, that would be the only way I would do it...Personally I think she is just scared you will play crappy music maybe she has seen a bad Dj at a wedding??
 
DJMC : Good for you. Seriously. It's wonderful your business is gang busters.
 
Cap Capello said:
DJMC : Good for you. Seriously. It's wonderful your business is gang busters.
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Travis B is right here on these boards.......he's only a PM (or phone call) away.

I haven't kept any secrets......just copy & paste!

For less than $200 and an investment in TIME, anybody can duplicate my success!

my yardstick:

Last year (this date 8-07-08) I had ONE event with deposit and 3 pendings for '08 (contracts in mail)

This year (same date): 6 events booked, 8 pending contracts in mail


all because I switched from CRAPPY LEAD SERVICES like DecIDIOT, Respond, WedPlan, etc......

and went to PURE ORGANIC SEO.

:) :) :)
 
Papa Deuce said:
You guys are missing my point.... what if there is NO MAKING HER BUDGE even a bit? Regardless of how you explain it.

Do you STILL want the event? Simple. Would you work with a client who offered ZERO flexibility in what you play?
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Apparently her mind is already made up that she wants total control over the music for whatever reason, whether it be from a bad previous experience with a DJ; eclectic music tastes; or her being a control freak.
It is interesting seeing how many people here want to try to change the Brides mind by meeting with her and trying to convince her that they know better than she does, which might be true but try telling a Bride she is wrong about something.

This is her party. If she wants total control over the music she has every right to have it. I would wish her well and hopes she finds a decent DJ, but it wouldn't be me.
 
Alright, I guess you really do not want hear what she has to say. Let it go, you will never know what she really meant unless you speak to her.

Lets play devils advocate. How many of us book jobs before we speak to the client because the email sounds like they will really be easy to work with. None I hope, but lets take this as the example. We book it because in the email she says. I am easy to work with and the DJ will be in control of the event. You go cool, book it and then you find out yes you are in control of pushing play. but this is the music you will use.

Do we not always try to speak to our clients to see if they are a fit with our services, unless we already know them. How can you discard a client without seeing what they really meant.

That is my 2 cents and the last I will say on it. All I am saying is call and feel her out. You might be losing a great gig and do not want to her what she has to say. If you do not like it, say sorry I am not the one for you. I even would ask her straight out what she meant by the statement. Cut to the point.
 
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