Dilema

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I have an interesting dilema.

My nephew's wedding is coming up soon. I offered to DJ it but he and his family want my wife and I to have a day off and just enjoy ourselves. Fair enough, but, I did ask who the DJ was and was told that the bride's mom was taking care of that and neither my nephew nor my sister-in-law knew who it was.

I just found out. It is an ex-partner of mine that I fired for not following comapany policy. He drinks alcohol at the events to the point of gettiing drunk sometimes and he hits on all the women, among other things. I also understand that his driver's license has been revoked again.

I spoke to the bride's mom about this and she says that she saw him at another event and he did a great job.

I think I have several choices here:

1. Don't go to the wedding.
2. Make sure he gets cut off at the bar early on.
3. Confront him and tell him what the consequences of screwing up my nephew's wedding are.

Regardless, I know this guy all to well. If I do go, I'm going to have my gear with me just in case.

BTW, he does not have a contract with her. He told her his word is his contract. I told her some of the tall tales he told me and that he believes that there is nothing too small to lie about.

I'm leaning towards not going.
 
Stay out of it.

All it will do is cause problems. If the guy doesn't show, you will be there to save the day. Don't put worries in their head because it may go great.

Karl
 
you've mentioned your concerns to her....so its not like she said she wasnt warned. Doing anything further could only look like sour grapes.
Go to the party and enjoy yourself....confronting him will only create more animosity. She saw him at a party...so it's not like its a foregone conclusion that this guy will ruin the wedding.

Not going is NOT an option....why be rude? I would guess a lot of people may think that you are not going just because she hired someone you didn't like.....it will seem petty in most people's eyes.

The only thing i would do further is #2...tell the bartender not to serve him.THATS IT.
But don't spend precious time with family looking for his mistakes. Mistakes you may see could be ones the guests don't see or don't care about.

If you really don't think you could enjoy yourself just because this guy is DJing...go for dinner....say HI to everyone and then leave early.....but I don't recommend that.


If she's willing to roll the dice without a contract...that's her problem...not yours.
 
Tom,

I think you need to take yourself out of the role of a DJ and just go as a guest to celebrate the day with your other family members. Taking your spare gear is fine, just in case he does not show.

But you have done what is expected of you, by warning them about the guy. They have made the decision to use him anyway, and they must suffer the consequence of that decision.

I would also not say a word to the guy on the day of the wedding. Once again, it is your problem to do with. You an invited guest of the bride and groom, and should take that mindset going in.
 
Go to the party and have fun. Don’t bring the equipment!!! I would leave the equipment at the house were its safe. I would not enjoy myself if my equipment was in the van or in another room in the hall.
 
Tom with all your Christian heart forgive and forget even if for only a day to celebrate with family how they planned it.
 
Rather jumpy???

You offered, they declined. End of story.

I'd leave my gear at home where it belongs. You weren't hired for the gig,
Uncle Whiskey Breath was.

Whats his not having a Drivers License have to do with anything???
 
Precisionpower said:
Whats his not having a Drivers License have to do with anything???
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His past history shows that he ignores this and drives himself to the event anyway. He is also a driver that speeds excessively and takes dangerous chances. What happens if he gets pulled over on his way to the event?

As stated before, I know this guy all too well. A leopard cannot change his spots.

In his favor, he's a good DJ.
 
Brother Tom,

If it's any help, I agree with the rest. You've been invited to this wedding as a guest. That's an honor. Please attend. Put your personal feelings aside for a few hours in honor of this occasion.

Were I in your shoes, I'd load the gear in the truck anyway. Just in case this guy pulls a drunk, you will be able to save the show. Don't interfere by trying to cut him off at the bar nor confront him. That's a sure-fire way to get blamed for anything that goes wrong at the least. At the worst, you could start a fight. You'd get blamed for that, too.

If he does OK, you were prepared. If he flops, let the B&G deal with him. Then back up your truck up to the door.

You tried to warn 'em. That's all you can do. Let it go and allow what happens to happen. If it will, it will... if it won't, it wont. But you did your part. That's what really matters.

Enjoy the wedding. :)
 
GoodKnightDJ said:
In his favor, he's a good DJ.
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In the end thats all that counts to the B&G

Keep your distance, let what happens happen, and enjoy the night. I'ts not going to be much fun sitting there waiting for someone to screw up

In my opinion having your gear there is a bad option. You were told you weren't needed leave it be. They made thier bed let them lay in it
 
Problem solved ... I think

I heard from another DJ buddy that I work with that this guy was driving home on his revoked license Sunday morning from his bar gig on Saturday. He was drunk and got into an accident. He's in jail without bond. This time somebody got hurt bad and they aren't letting him out any time soon. His vehicle, with his gear inside, has been impounded and nobody in his family cares enough to go it.

Too bad, he was using a B-52 Matrix 2000, 2 CDJ 1000's, plus some other stuff he bought off of me.

The bottom line is that he's out of business.

I have a call in to his family to confirm this mostly because I want to hear it from them before I let my sister-in-law know.
 
F*ing idiot! DUI's should get the "do onto others" treatment (something they got right in the middle east)...
"oh you hit a pedestrian while driving drunk, guess what, we're going to stand you in the middle of the road and drive a truck at you going 20 mph over the speed limit...what's that?...no we can't guarantee you'll survive...but if you do, we may try it again just for S&G...ok ready, here we go..."
 
i don't know how far away the wedding date it, but i would still stay out of it until they ask. they know you have a dj business, know could supply one, they know you don't think this guy was a good choice.

I'm guessing it's too early to tell whether this guy is out of business. He could always borrow equipment from someone else.

I hope the person that got hurt gets better, and I hope that this guy gets the help he needs, stops drinking, gets a sentence that will help him not do it again, and gives your family a wonderful wedding.

There is no way for you to tell that this guy will never make bail, and you dont know if and when there will be a trial, and when he'll be sentenced.
 
Scott Hanna said:
...I'm guessing it's too early to tell whether this guy is out of business. He could always borrow equipment from someone else...
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A DUI with injuries is a MAJOR financial headache...he's done. Unless the business is his sole source of income he'll need to liquidate those assets. And then there is the possibility of a personal injury lawsuit against his business.
 
WaydeWest said:
A DUI with injuries is a MAJOR financial headache...he's done. Unless the business is his sole source of income he'll need to liquidate those assets. And then there is the possibility of a personal injury lawsuit against his business. From the rate he was charging, I don't think the business could survive this.
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very possibly so....but not for us or Tom to determine....he is no longer affiliated with this guy.
If it was me, i wouldn't even call my relatives and let them know unless it was close. They should find out themselves whatever the outcome is....if they wanted my help, they would have asked for it. I might mention something when i saw them that they might want to check in with the guy, but calling them and telling them about everything you heard kind of sounds like you are calling them to say, "See? I told you so!"
 
Scott Hanna said:
very possibly so....but not for us or Tom to determine....he is no longer affiliated with this guy.
If it was me, i wouldn't even call my relatives and let them know unless it was close. They should find out themselves whatever the outcome is....if they wanted my help, they would have asked for it. I might mention something when i saw them that they might want to check in with the guy, but calling them and telling them about everything you heard kind of sounds like you are calling them to say, "See? I told you so!"
Click to expand...

I agree with Scott.

Your being a bit too eager to stomp all over the guy, May come off as your bitter that you didn't get the job???

I understand wanting the family function to go well, but this sound personal.
 
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