An example of a wedding agenda

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Jon Tuck said:
I can now see why it is so easy for you to call it quits. You hold a bride to a religious belief that you have? What if the bride is an atheist? Do you get the red flag instantly and leave the meeting?:sqerr: This is crazy.
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Please note what I said; this is covered at the interview.

Most have a blessing no matter what their beliefs are because they take into consideration their religious guests.

I had one bride say that she did not want a blessing because she was an atheist. I asked her to consider her guests beliefs and she said that she did not care. I am sorry Jon but I cannot work with a person that does not care about their guests. There are plenty of other DJs for her out there.

A few years back I was not that concerned about this factor. During those days I did not even bother to ask at the interview and if they told me that there was no blessing I just figured the guests that wanted a blessing could do it at their table. That was until I ran into the bridezilla that absolutely freaked out when her religious guests started blessing their meal. She wanted me to make an announcement telling them not to do that. I refused to make the announcement. I also ran into a groom that freaked out when I prayed (to myself) before the meal I was invited to eat. Shortly after that is when I started taking the blessing issue into consideration.

Folks, I have run into some dillies in my time as a DJ.
 
Tom that was an extreme case with bridezilla. I would have likely saw it in my meeting and possibly would have calmed a storm that would never happen. The other scenario was also a bit over the top and Dillys Dally. However I could never fault my clients for their beliefs unless they were promoting illegal activities. IF they choose not to dance with Daddy for the Father Daughter dance does it cause a Red Flag? Or if they want to cut the cake before dinner? Sorry I dont see your Flag in that instance as valid. I cant force my bride to provide me a steak dinner nor her guests.
 
And Jon, I have a different set of values than you. My values require me to ask questions that determine if the hosts care about their guests. I have found from experience that a host that does not care about their guests is a poor host and poor hosts make for poor events. When it comes down to it, who really gets blamed for a poor event, the host or the DJ?

You're right, it is a good thing that I am getting out because I was finding more and more hosts that don't care about their guests. Eventually I would not be taking any events at all anyway for want of a caring host.
 
A lot of receptions they dont even do this blessing thing
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As you have read it's not about the brides wishes or the guests wishes but it's about Tom's own personal beliefs. Since they are the only two he's speaking with, then it's only has their wishes to be concerned with. And if their wishes are no blessing then so be it, it's no blessing. But he then goes on to assume what the guests might want one. He didn't speak with any of them, didn't get their opinion, just injected his own. So it comes down to what he wants not the bride and groom nor the guests. I know completely understand why he is all done in this business.

My daughter and her future husband do not want a blessing at their wedding. What about the guests you ask? I don't really care. I'm paying for them to get a free meal so let them be thankful for that. Let them bow their head and take a nap if they wish. My daughter doesn't want it then it don't happen. I didn't arrange this and spend so much money so everyone can sit around in a circle jerk to get their Kumbiyas out.
 
IF you have ever read any of my reports or comments on Client care you know Im one who does care but I dont control their beliefs or what there idea of tradition is. Im the DJ I assist and advize but if it doesnt fit my view of proper courtesy at a minimal level then they are not my client. Rarely with my efforts to allow consideration for their guests do I have any problems. I have blessing listed in my planner if they choose to include it is up to them I dont try and twist their arms into it. If they want to do the money dance or not I dont mention that out of respect for those who brought extra cash hoping to dance once more with their ex girlfriends must be considered. I dont attempt to tell them they must do the bouquet and garter out of respect for the single ladies or single guys. I dont even ask them to have a real cake out of respect for the said guests either. Its becoming quite apparent I dont care......... Sorry I was part of the blame in your early retirement.
 
I had a couple who wanted to wear clown shoes into their wedding. I didnt argue. Now I see the difference in our values. I also surprised them by providing the guests with Clown noses to counter their surprise. Fun was had by all however they didnt hold blessing before toasts or dinner. They even had a magician during dinner.
 
GoodKnightDJ said:
Please note what I said; this is covered at the interview.

Most have a blessing no matter what their beliefs are because they take into consideration their religious guests.

I had one bride say that she did not want a blessing because she was an atheist. I asked her to consider her guests beliefs and she said that she did not care. I am sorry Jon but I cannot work with a person that does not care about their guests. There are plenty of other DJs for her out there.

A few years back I was not that concerned about this factor. During those days I did not even bother to ask at the interview and if they told me that there was no blessing I just figured the guests that wanted a blessing could do it at their table. That was until I ran into the bridezilla that absolutely freaked out when her religious guests started blessing their meal. She wanted me to make an announcement telling them not to do that. I refused to make the announcement. I also ran into a groom that freaked out when I prayed (to myself) before the meal I was invited to eat. Shortly after that is when I started taking the blessing issue into consideration.

Folks, I have run into some dillies in my time as a DJ.
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I have been to many weddings with no blessing. It is not like a blessing has to be said out loud. I simply bowed my head and said a quick "thank you" and started eating.

Mike
 
DjDennis said:
thanks guys - I converted the PDFs to Doc files and now are easy to edit :)



Mike you can toast with anything it doesnt mean you must have Alcohol...


oh and I added mine

the PDF is what it is and is double sided not two seperate pages
I have a duplexer laser printer so works well for me
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Oh! I know. Goodnight was saying God before alcohol. So I was saying we won't have alcohol so we can do the blessing before the meal.

We are going to do our toasts throughout the evening to help break things up.

Mike
 
I dont attempt to tell them they must do the bouquet and garter out of respect for the single ladies or single guys.
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No but at least make them toss the bouquet to the single ladies out of respect for the DJ.:sqwink:

We all do what we do. Some of it makes us more different than others. What Tom does makes him very different than most.:sqerr: I must say I like having guys like Tom in my area. It just means more business for me.

What will I do without him here any longer?:sqfrown: Hey, can you guys let Peter Merry back in the club. Now that would be a challenge.:sqwink:
 
Ron Auger said:
As you have read it's not about the brides wishes or the guests wishes but it's about Tom's own personal beliefs.
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As has been stated, I ask them to take into consideration their guests beliefs. When they say that they don't care, that's when I pull the plug.

Most do want a blessing. When I bring up their guests, others think about it and say OK. When they say that they don't care I say, "I am sorry then but I don't think we are the mobile entertainment company for you."

In the incident where I did pull the plug the bride questioned why and I told her that a host that does not care about their guests generally makes my job more difficult than it has to be.

Ron Auger said:
I know completely understand why he is all done in this business.
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Yup, too many people like you around.

Ron Auger said:
My daughter and her future husband do not want a blessing at their wedding. What about the guests you ask? I don't really care. I'm paying for them to get a free meal so let them be thankful for that. Let them bow their head and take a nap if they wish. My daughter doesn't want it then it don't happen. I didn't arrange this and spend so much money so everyone can sit around in a circle jerk to get their Kumbiyas out.
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I pitty the fool that takes that wedding.
 
What Jon and Ron don't get and what I must explain is this, I don't force them to have a blessing. If they don't wish to have a blessing then they just won't have me as their DJ. It is that simple.

It has been my experience that people that don't care about their guests, like Ron, are poor hosts. Honestly, I wouldn't even want to be an invited guest at something Ron hosts.
 
Im glad to know You as I do Thom and admire you standing firm on your beliefs. They however arent the only right ones and so I must say its not necessarily the only way , or the right way but simply Thoms way. Now about the BHB. He dresses in a Dog outfit (not for Gods Sakes) how can one get riled over his branded humor? Good thing he isnt in the McGruff costume.
 
I appreciate and understand the capacity to refuse working for some clients.

One man's threshold is another's welcome mat.

God Bless America.
 
Standing up for ones religious convictions does not make one a poor host. You do not need to look to Christians only for this. I have attended many Hindu weddings over the years and of course they all serve vegetarian food only. Since I am an omnivore I have no problem with vegetarian food. However even the carnivores at the receptions found the food both tastey and filling. But by your definition they would be bad hosts.

Another example. Sarah and I will have a large portion of our guests (20-30%) that will not dance. In fact they will probably look down on us for doing such sinful things. So should we not have any dancing at our reception?

Mike
 
This is disturbing, to put it mildly.

Bottom line is this:

Anyone, invited guests included and ESPECIALLY, that TRULY and deeply WANT to do a blessing WON'T MIND or even CARE if one is done publicly at the event or not. If it is important to them, and they are doing it for the RIGHT REASONS, then they are going to do it on their own and in their own way regardless, and they will be just as happy not having a "group blessing."

When it just absolutely "needs" to be a "public" thing, it's far too sanctimonious and self-righteous and just amounts to a display of vanity that will be highly frowned upon by he whom they want to be seen praying TO.

Remember: What did Jesus himself tell his disciples about praying?
:sqwink:

Matthew 6:5-8

5 "And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6 But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 7 "When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Oh - but that's right Tom - I'm just an ignorant, evil atheist - what do I know about the BIBLE of all things! :sqlaugh::rofl::sqlaugh:

:sqcool:
 
Sounds To Go said:
This is disturbing, to put it mildly.

Bottom line is this:

Anyone, invited guests included and ESPECIALLY, that TRULY and deeply WANT to do a blessing WON'T MIND or even CARE if one is done publicly at the event or not. If it is important to them, and they are doing it for the RIGHT REASONS, then they are going to do it on their own and in their own way regardless, and they will be just as happy not having a "group blessing."

When it just absolutely "needs" to be a "public" thing, it's far too sanctimonious and self-righteous and just amounts to a display of vanity that will be highly frowned upon by he whom they want to be seen praying TO.

Remember: What did Jesus himself tell his disciples about praying?
:sqwink:

Matthew 6:5-8

5 "And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6 But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 7 "When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Oh - but that's right Tom - I'm just an ignorant, evil atheist - what do I know about the BIBLE of all things! :sqlaugh::rofl::sqlaugh:

:sqcool:
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So Jesus didn't pray at the passover meal? He just asked everyone to bown their heads and say a private prayer? What did Jesus do before he raised Lazerus? Did he just bow his head silently?

I find it very disturbing that I must be sure to not step on anyone else's toes, I must be tolerant of everyone else, but when it comes to my beliefs intolerance is okay because it is wrapped in an accusation of sanctimony and vanity.

In our case it would be my first prayer as the head of our new household, an acknowledgment of our reliance on God for our very life and our prayer that God would be present at this holy event.

Remember there is a difference between reading the Bible and understanding it. The Bible even says that even Satan and the demons believe in God.

Mike

PS It is anything but vain (in fact it is the very opposite of vanity to recognize an all powerful God and to thank him for everything he has given you), and you are in no position to call anyones faith sanctimonious, especially if you do not know them and their motives. You say self righteous like it is a bad thing. By its dictionary definition I am completely self righteous because I am confident in my righteousness not by anything I have done but by the sacrifice of my savior on the cross.
 
OK, this discussion is going across three threads, so let me bring this over here:

As I indicated, again, I only ran into one person that said that they would not have the blessing and when I addressed the concern about their guests wishes they told me that they did not care. My decision to reject them as a client was not based on whether they wanted to have a blessing or not, it was based on the fact that they were not being considerate of their guests. I have experience that shows that hosts that are not considerate of their guests are poor hosts and have poor events; that is, they tend to be selfcentered and inconsiderate. They also tend to be micromanagers. This is my experience, your mileage may vary.

Now, had they told me that they would not be having a formal blessing and that the guests may bow their head if they so desired I would have asked if I could make an announcement to that effect. I may have also asked if they wished me to make a blessing for them. This never came up.

Since I included the question in the interview I have only run into the one problem. All of the rest have either included a the blessing or, when asked, indicated that they really had not considered their guests and agreed that a blessing would be a good idea for those of a religious bent.
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Esoteric,

You are just providing Justin undeserved pleasure by even considering his opinions on faith.

It is like caring about Stevie Wonder's opinion of your haircut. How could it matter?:sqwink:
 
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