Where do you draw the line with a client?

[Proformance]

We're talking about micro-managing clients who want to "DJ by proxy" then blame us (the DJs) if their ideas didn't work.

Yeah, I got that - it's called fear and a need to control and you're not even aware of how well you preach it. Read you're own words above - you're afraid of blame and you want to micro-manage (another word for control.) You said that - not me.

One, the girl gave an full, exact list, even down to specific versions of songs. I spoke to her about it, she didn't like what I had to say, then we did it the way she said. Her event sucked rocks and came off precisely as I told her it was going to happen.

Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You should not have taken the event if you knew you could not deliver what she was asking for. You told her you would fail and then you proved yourself right. What's not controlling about that?

Had another one where the girl had a sucky list but in this case, when I spoke with her about it and asked her point blank "Do you want a dance party or do you want your list? You can't have both." she backed down (somewhat) and gave me latitude. Her party was a huge success and she sings my praises.

"My way or the highway." What's not controlling about that?

There is a time where you have to find a way to tactfully let the client know when they're stepping on themselves. Past that, you do what they demand, smile, and do everything that's within your power to do. Past that, you do have to just smile and realize you've done everything you could.

That sounds like you're willing to be really fake and phony with people. There is also a time to admit that a particular client is asking for something you don't know how to deliver and rather than take something away from them - decline the job and refer them to someone who knows how to give them BOTH their list and the party they want.

I've been handed lists over the years that I thought were crappy only to discover that the client knew their crowd in ways that I would likely never have anticipated with songs I would not have gone to. To be given a guided tour in other musical directions is valuable experience and is likely the difference between your confidence level and mine. You need to stay with the familiar and I don't. It's that simple.

 

[rickryan.com]

Yeah, I got that - it's called fear and a need to control and you're not even aware of how well you preach it. Read you're own words above - you're afraid of blame and you want to micro-manage (another word for control.) You said that - not me.

You better believe I fear a bad event and you should also, if you're a good business person. Bad events generate bad reviews and bad word-of-mouth and that kills business. I want my events to succeed, partially because I want to help clients enjoy the event they're paying for but also because I want to profit from being known as the guy who delivers a stellar party.

Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You should not have taken the event if you knew you could not deliver what she was asking for. You told her you would fail and then you proved yourself right. What's not controlling about that?

Since you obviously have forgotten the discussion on that event, let me refresh your memory. I interviewed the client and she presented the perfect client on the front end. About 3 weeks out from the party she did a 180 and submitted her list of requirements, specifically she listed out every song to be played, when they would be played and even down to the version on some. Had she acted that way on the front-side, I would not have taken her booking.

That sounds like you're willing to be really fake and phony with people. There is also a time to admit that a particular client is asking for something you don't know how to deliver and rather than take something away from them - decline the job and refer them to someone who knows how to give them BOTH their list and the party they want.

It's always so pleasant having a conversation with you. Such tact. One question, you make a habit of cancelling a contract a few weeks out from an event?

I've been handed lists over the years that I thought were crappy only to discover that the client knew their crowd in ways that I would likely never have anticipated with songs I would not have gone to. To be given a guided tour in other musical directions is valuable experience and is likely the difference between your confidence level and mine. You need to stay with the familiar and I don't. It's that simple.

You're making a (quite offensive) assertion that you know nothing about. I have no problem with new territory and, like you, I've had plenty of clients who gave good insight and direction on their guests that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. I always appreciate that kind of feedback but again, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the OVERLY-controlling client who simply wants you to push the buttons on an event that they're remote-controlling. If it fails, you take the heat. If it succeeds, they'll brag about how great their selections were.

 

[Proformance]

You're making a (quite offensive) assertion that you know nothing about. I have no problem with new territory and, like you, I've had plenty of clients who gave good insight and direction on their guests that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. I always appreciate that kind of feedback but again, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the OVERLY-controlling client who simply wants you to push the buttons on an event that they're remote-controlling. If it fails, you take the heat. If it succeeds, they'll brag about how great their selections were.

You have to take offense - it's not something I give you. It's part of that "my way or the highway" kind of thinking where everything is right or wrong. Get over yourself - it's just different.

"Button-pusher" is not a term that clients use. It's an insecurity among DJs - which is why they sling at back and forth at each other as a put down. Your choice of words from outside the client's dialogue is an over-reaction owing to your DJ insecurity not their list or demands.

I really don't expect you to see it but, your stories are always the same - OVERLY-controlling clients. It may feel like that to you as you write them - but, on this side of the screen it just reads as you being inflexible and unyielding. Bottom line always seems to be your need to stay with "what works" - code name for the familiar. You're not alone, it is probably the most frequent and common complaint I hear people make about DJs in general.

If it fails, you take the heat. If it succeeds, they'll brag about how great their selections were.

Where did you get the last part of that? Surely this is not something any client told you they intended to do? It sounds very petty on your part. I mean really, is your self-esteem so low that you can't let a bride & groom take credit for their own event?

 

[ittigger]

"Button-pusher" is not a term that clients use. It's an insecurity among DJs - which is why they sling at back and forth at each other as a put down. Your choice of words from outside the client's dialogue is an over-reaction owing to your DJ insecurity not their list or demands.

Hmmmmmm. Could this be a synonym for 'push play'?