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T

Thomas

DJ Extraordinaire
Apr 14, 2009
900
76
56
Hamilton, IL
www.pulse-audio.com
I did a gig this last weekend for one of my cousins. Pretty close cousin so I did it as their wedding gift. Did a very nice set up. 2 dual 18" subs, 2 dual 15" mains.....16' truss.... 4 colorails...1 4 head laser (aimed up out their eyes of course)...chauvet led mushrooms.....led derby...led vue..... haze machine... 2 q spot 360...

This was just a messed up evening......My cousin was the groom....great kids...taking on a ready made family and loving it....

The bride is very personable....really sweet girl......

The evening starts....100 more people show than were invited.....the food line took forever...pushed toasts...etc...etc...etc...back....

It wasn't that really anyone crashed the wedding just friends....and friends...and friends.... they were overjoyed to see the turnout....so it was a plus

We roll with...they were ecstatic....

We get through the toasts......

Get too the cake.....she nails him....was hilarious.....

B/G dance....amazing.....

Shoe game.....a blast....

Then they had a dance that included the kids...(3 and 5).. Seems the oldest was mad as hell at mommy for being mean to daddy....wouldn't have anything to do with her.....again cute as hell.......

Father/daughter dance....disaster....... The bride went out of the way to try to include her step father in the ceremony.... We had 3 meetings getting all the details worked out.... she was so looking forward to this dance....changed the song twice before hand....wanting that perfect moment.....He refused to come to the dance floor because he was eating......I wanted to walk over and beat him within an inch of his life, but restrained.....the bride was devastated...

Recovered as gracefully as possible and moved on to M/S....crowd was still a little stunned...but went well....again...the kids put a lot of thought into their song choices....both were teary eyed at the end....very nice....

About 2/3 through m/s " dad " comes up to me and says....Hey I thought I was supposed to do some stupid dance.....again restrained.....told him to hold on a few moments...and we would get to it.....He to me he didn't see what all the damn fuss was about....he was f'n ready and now we weren't.....again refrained

Did the F/D dance she was obviously disappointed I felt so bad for her.......

Everything else went well.... bouquet toss etc......

Open dancing....pretty much all the older people had already left well before the open dancing began.....We kept it pretty mixed for about the first hour.......at this point in time there were 4 older persons left...... 60+ppl on the dance floor..... would say they were all younger....but 20% were just acting younger(absolutely nothing wrong with that)

requests started coming in for the none pg-13 stuff......I had already discussed this with the b/g and confirmed with them in real time before we switched...
started mixing in some of the rougher stuff......

I smoke...stepped out for a smoke....my daughter (16) is my assistant...she is still manning the booth....come back in....floor even more packed.....couple kids made requests....she played them....party was off the hook....then....well....there was this guy...chewing my daughters ass...quite fervently....I approached and asked what seemed to the problem....well this guy was a little older...and according to an amazing dj......spouted out coverage area....talent...companies he's worked for etc...etc...etc...etc.. and he had requested a song half an hour ago and my daughter wasn't playing it...(I was gone for less than 10 minutes)....I was polite and asked him what song he requested.....it was an Elvis song....I politely told him I would see if we could fit it in......he walked away...

20 minutes later....floor still packed...didn't get to his song....he was back....little more forceful .....I politely told that I didn't feel the current crowd would appreciate his song request....and that I personally thought it was a great song, but the current dance crowd probably wouldn't appreciate it........ He left again....went for a smoke a while later....come back....guess what....at this point I told him to go away or get booted from the event... in no uncertain terms....floor is still packed

About an hour later... nicotine calls again....this time him and his wife were leaving....btw..she was on the floor all night.... He came up and asked me how long I have a DJ...well as you all know only about 4 years....that was the wrong answer........then he started to lecture....and rant....all good...bout done with my smoke... still being polite....evidently he didn't get the rise out me he wanted....started to invade personal space....ditched the smoke...had had enough... His wife caught the signs and dragged him away mouth running 90 miles and hour....let it pass.....had another smoke... I asked the bartender on the way back up how he had to drink.....water all night.....wtf....

We kept the floor packed all night long.....went 2 hours over......booked 3 gigs out the deal.....2 weddings and a corporate Christmas party.

I have been to several events where I was not the DJ...I usually do go up and say Hi....check out their gear...talk a little shop...then let them do their job....If they rock the house...more power to them....if the crash and burn....I resist temptation to give advice...... I think that is the polite thing to do....

The overall night was just a little stunning from step dad and "DJ" turned out it was step dads cousin....

For those of you that know me.....I started off dazed and confused asking about Berhringer gear around 4 years ago.....took a lot of great advice off here(still get a lot)....still have some Berry gear (lol) but I had 12 open weekend this years....next year I am having to schedule time off...and have bookings into 2014....

But have any of you had events like this....first for me..... First confrontation by another "DJ" also...... Like I said...interesting encounter..... Mainly wanted to vent a little bit.... You get outside the DJ world...talk about things like this....your friends just look at you funny......
 
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Of course. Not necessarily with a DJ but someone insisting that their request be played next and you know their request is going to bomb. Or one that's not right for the event yet they keep insisting you play that song. Sometimes I'll make the mistake of playing their request. I'm just happy because of my experience I'm usually able to get the dance floor packed again very quickly.
 
Thomas, I feel for you. I had one of those dads last year. It was time for his F/D dance and he decided to go change out of his suit, into his jeans and cowboy boots. The bride had that same expression you mentioned as she sat there, alone and devastated, not to mention how her wedding pics would always have a reminder about what an arse her dad chose to be.

Now I would like to take you to task over the cig smoking. It's one thing for you to not be able to get thru a few hours without smoking but the situation you put your daughter in is not acceptable, IMHO. To make matters worse, you were about to leave her open a 2nd time and just lucked up that the situation re-reared its ugly head prior to your exit. Putting your 16 year old daughter in that situation is not forgivable, my opinion. I know this is your biz but if that were one of my DJs, that would be his last engagement with me. Smoking on the job is not permitted with me.
 
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I have to agree with Rick here!! If there was drinking at the reception, what you did was really bad. I have an 18 year old daughter who helps me, she can not be unacompanied if working with me in a enviroment with alcohol. It was explained to me by a local DA, who is a friend of a family that the rules for minors performing at an event with alcohol is very delicate and that I should never leave her alone in that enviroment.

I do salute you for your pateince and proffessionalism, after being a soldier for 27 years, I hate violance more than you could ever imagine (I will not even hunt anymore), but I am springloaded to the take out the threat mode when it comes to my family, especially my daughter as she has CP.

Ray J.
 
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yep after 35 years you (I) still get it from Djs but thats what we all have to put up with

I always say the same thing here too

SemiRetired DJ said:
You always run into at least one Richard Cranium. My question to him would have been, "So, you're such a hot shot DJ, why aren't you working tonight?". That usually shuts them up.
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it always shuts them right up!!!
 
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Thomas thanks for sharing, just an idea when it comes to the parent dances. It sounds like you made the announcement and the step dad decided not to do it. To avoid this sort of thing always, and I mean always coordinate with the B&G just before you do the dance. Usually it's just to make sure they know it's going to happen and not take off to the bathroom, but in this case even though the dance wouldn't have happened you could have avoided the public humiliation for the bride due to her stepdad being a prick. Just a thought
 
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As far as the smoking goes this ended up being a 9 hour gig, not counting set and tear down. 3 cigs in 9 hours isn't being very excessive. If I am DJ'ing alone I don't smoke at all. I won't leave my gear unattended...end up doing the pee pee dance a lot. It's a two fold thing when it comes to my daughter. Most nights when she is confronted I won't intervene and let her handle it herself. It is good for her to learn to cope with difficult situations on her own. It is very rare that I do have to step in. Usually when I do it's not for her behalf, it's for theirs. I am way more concerned about coming back to her standing over someone unconscious on the floor than I am them getting the best of her. She is very well trained in self defense...her only complaint is that I won't teach her more.


Concerning the F/D dance. I meet will all the wedding party prior to announcing them. We do a very thorough run down of events with them. I keep in contact with everyone as the night progresses, but once the first dance starts I am pretty well stuck for a while. He was standing beside the dance floor when the first dance started. Usually that means all is well. Man was I wrong on this one.


Thanks for everyone's input

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SemiRetired DJ said:
You always run into at least one Richard Cranium. My question to him would have been, "So, you're such a hot shot DJ, why aren't you working tonight?". That usually shuts them up.
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I really like that......going to have to remember it.
 
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Thomas said:
Most nights when she is confronted I won't intervene and let her handle it herself. It is good for her to learn to cope with difficult situations on her own. It is very rare that I do have to step in. Usually when I do it's not for her behalf, it's for theirs. I am way more concerned about coming back to her standing over someone unconscious on the floor than I am them getting the best of her. She is very well trained in self defense...her only complaint is that I won't teach her more.
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Our daughters sound similar Thomas I would have the same fear lol.

I love you guys with self imposed restrictions. Don't drink, don't eat, don't smoke, don't sit, don't fart geeze let it up a little. I've been 30 years around this business and at one time or another I've done all of the abov and still do (except for drink I don't do that one anymore). I also will finish this year with 54 gigs supposing I don't book anymore. That's not as many as last year by choice but still looks like all the sins aren't affecting me. I find if you do your job and keep the party rocking nobody really notices what you are doing...and not being an attention w***re is a good thing ;)
 
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Jeff Romard said:
Our daughters sound similar Thomas I would have the same fear lol.

I love you guys with self imposed restrictions. Don't drink, don't eat, don't smoke, don't sit, don't fart geeze let it up a little. I've been 30 years around this business and at one time or another I've done all of the abov and still do (except for drink I don't do that one anymore). I also will finish this year with 54 gigs supposing I don't book anymore. That's not as many as last year by choice but still looks like all the sins aren't affecting me. I find if you do your job and keep the party rocking nobody really notices what you are doing...and not being an attention w***re is a good thing ;)
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I'll most likely get a b#tt pounding for this one, but here it goes.

I am a smoker and I also step outside at an event. My wife is at every gig with me and is a very good music mixologist so the equipment is never left unattended.

I also sit on a stool at most events due to a lower back problem.

I eat if I get a chance and have been invited to eat.

I don't drink at an event, except a bar/nightclub, because my does not know how to pull the trailer and I will not drink and drive.

I have never had any complaints about the above actions.


now where did I put the vasoline....:eek:
 
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Never drank at an event. (cause I never did drink)
Used to smoke at events. (haven't smoked in 3 years)
Don't bring my kids to events. (my son came along ONCE and hated it)

I am not gonna scold you for anything you do, Thomas....
because what good is MY opinion of YOUR life?

I just think it's funny how the dumb a** DJ guy seemed to wait until you LEFT,
to make his requests. (like he didn't wanna deal with a grown man, just pick on a young girl)

As far as the F/D dance...I too make sure everyone involved is in actually INVOLVED right before I announce it.
Given your situation, I would have quickly skipped over it and moved on to the next item.
 
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Sometimes an asshole or two make it a pain as the DJ but it sounds like you did your job and made the event a total success, Thomas. You can't make people like that wannabe happy, you basically just have to take their crap...and the rest of the people will never know that you didn't let him kill the dancefloor.
 
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I actually revised my contract. cause to the occasional asshole....whoda thunk right.... but better to be prepared than left hanging

- - - Updated - - -

And just a quick recap for those that told me that I was leaving my daughter un-defended. I told her about the comments posted. She got a pretty good chuckle out of it..then reminded me of a few important points. She was never alone. This was a family event. She had one chief of police and 2 state troopers within her present at all time.....a.k.a. my brothers were within 10 ft at all times. That was the first...the second was....jeeze....these guys that much of a bunch of wusses or what....a girl can take care of herself......as if .....jeesh....

just quoting
 
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I commented on what you explained with a few thoughts of experiences I have seen. You never stated that she had the National Guard called out and watching her. Of course a sixteen year old girl thinks they are grown and nothing can hurt them, almost all of them do. Next year let her join the services and at 17 or 18 have an M-16 put in her hand and be walking the mountains ot Afgan or the streets of Baghdad. She and you might both learn how fragile we are and how important family members are.

Don't forget many of us patted you on the back (after we spanked your bottom) for your proffesionalism :)

Ray J.
 
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oldschooldj said:
I commented on what you explained with a few thoughts of experiences I have seen. You never stated that she had the National Guard called out and watching her. Of course a sixteen year old girl thinks they are grown and nothing can hurt them, almost all of them do. Next year let her join the services and at 17 or 18 have an M-16 put in her hand and be walking the mountains ot Afgan or the streets of Baghdad. She and you might both learn how fragile we are and how important family members are.

Don't forget many of us patted you on the back (after we spanked your bottom) for your proffesionalism :)

Ray J.
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Sorry for my snappy reply. Trust me I know all too well how fragile life can be. I have one finishing AIT now and she is considering military herself and a vet myself.
 
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Thank you for your service and we will keep your family in our prayers as one joins the service. Ray J.
 
Can't really find fault with you it's your gig to do what you want, and as you point out you were serving your own family.
However, I recognize that the audience includes more than just your family. It also includes people who's expectations of a DJ extend beyond the comfort level and acceptance of your family members.

As a potential employer here's what turns me off in this story:

If you can find time for 4 or more smoking breaks you can find time to play an Elvis tune.
The "escalation" of this confrontation is not all on the other guy.
 
all the venues now dont allow smoking where I am

so thats why I never smoke these days
 
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