How to ruin your friends' wedding by doing a "favor"

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mysoulishome

mysoulishome

DJ
Aug 11, 2006
722
14
Tehachapi, Californiaa
www.aaronsdjservices.com
We've all had the frantic call about the wedding TONIGHT with a missing DJ. Today I had a variation...the call was from the DJ himself!

He said he had an event that he had planned to DJ for some family/friends but now he was not able to do it. I prodded for more information and it came out piece by piece. What kind of event? A wedding. When is it? Today. From 4PM to Midnight. What is the budget? He was charging them $30 per hour plus gas money which worked out to $300.

Anyone out there want to DJ an 8 hour wedding for $300 at the last minute with no planning time whatsoever? Didn't think so.

The thought dawns on me that in this case by attempting to do a favor one can actually make things worse...as in ruin the reception. By volunteering to do it for free or on the cheap you remove the burden of paying for entertainment. But now that you can't do it, the bride and groom are screwed.

Had they had the opportunity at the beginning to pay full price to hire a DJ who would show up, would they have? Perhaps, perhaps not. But now they don't have a choice.

Could you imagine volunteering to DJ a friend or family member's wedding and then dropping out on the day of? I just don't understand that mentality at all...
 
Not a "friend."

And obviously not a "real DJ." :p

I have DJed a friend's wedding for free--it was my wedding gift (I could not offer anything better). I have also DJed a family party for free. For other acquaintances, I give discounts. But I treat my DJ business as I would treat it for anybody else; in other words, I would not flake out.

This is my happy thought of the day. :)
 
why was he not able to do it?

And would I do it,,,, Damm, maybe because I would feel so bad for the B&G, but I would try and let them know about the cost, just in case they could manage more. I would hate to see their day be messed up because he flaked....

I would hope that Karman would shine on me and spit on him...
 
Soul, you never said whether you'd do it or not........Whull?


Speaking for myself only, I wouldn't do it even if my mother asked me. No prep time? No knowledge of the B&G, the venue, the guests? Why not just hang a sign around my neck: " I Want Ruin This Reception And Look Bad For ANY Possible Referrals Or Potential Clients" in big red letters....

Hope you said no, but if yes, please let us know how you pulled it off.
 
Joe,,,, I would like to think that my years of DJing would allow me to go in and pull it off.

If it was in my town, chances are I would know the venue.....but if I didn't, let's be honest, what's the big deal, we set up where? Okay... The DJ should be able to supply you with a list of music requests if he did it in the first place....If not a short talk to the B&G during cocktails would be easy, they would understand... Crowds are crowds,, we read them all the time.

The biggest deal to me would be the money, but then if I am not working and I was planning on sitting home watching re-runs of L&O,,, $300.00 is a car payment....
 
If you (anybody who claims they are a talented DJ that can read the crowd) are such a great DJ, why can't you pull an event together quickly, even if it is a pre-canned playlist? If given enough time to talk on the phone, could you pull it off???? I know there is many bits of info I am given the night of, like the names and pronounciations, not the songs. But if it is local, and you can set the price just right, why not step up?

To me, having somebodies day go down the drain because I don't want to work extra hard real quick will stay on my conscious.

(Playing devils advocate here)

(HAHA, what Chuck Said, you read my mind)
 
mysoulishome said:
Had they had the opportunity at the beginning to pay full price to hire a DJ who would show up, would they have? Perhaps, perhaps not. But now they don't have a choice.

Could you imagine volunteering to DJ a friend or family member's wedding and then dropping out on the day of? I just don't understand that mentality at all...
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This has nothing to do with a full price DJ. Incompetence comes in all packages. I hear plenty of high priced horror stories. The couple did nothing wrong. This guy's broken promise was the only cause. If you or I were to make such an offer to our family or friends, the outcome would be the same as if we got paid.
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JoeChartreuse said:
Hope you said no, but if yes, please let us know how you pulled it off.
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Just showing up and playing some music would be "pulling it off". They might lose a little fluff, but anything would be better than no audio or music.
 
Doing a last-minute gig is not a problem for me...it's more the 8 hours for $300 that caused me to pass.

I'd love to save the day and give those poor people a great wedding but I have to get somewhere nearer to full price to make it worth my while.

At a certain price point I'd be packing and out the door (no question), but it's higher these days then in the past. If I'm not DJ'ing on Saturdays I have my shop open...and going home to my girls at 4PM is wonderful as well.
 
Chuck said it, Karma.
 
mysoulishome said:
Doing a last-minute gig is not a problem for me...it's more the 8 hours for $300 that caused me to pass.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah. Hell no.... I wasn't suggesting that anybody honor this bozo's price. If the couple was willing to ante up, then go for it.
 
I agree with most of what has been said so far, but I also have a couple more "red flags" on this one.

1) If a couple has planned $300 for something, even if you drastically slash your price to approach this number, they're paying more than they anticipated, and you run the risk of having to prove you're a $500 (let's say) D.J., even if you're usually $1000 or more. While it's certainly not impossible to "pull off", you're being scrutinzed more, being paid less, and having to pull most of it out your butt to do it (no time for planning meetings, etc.).

2) The couple didn't call you, the "D.J." did. If you're saving someone, aren't you saving this poor excuse for a "D.J.", and if so, why would you want to? If you agreed to this, it's entirely possible that when you show up, you won't be seen as the "hero", but have the bride and groom mad at you for not being someone else. And then you're going to ask for more money on top of it?
 
Steve Sharp said:
1) If a couple has planned $300 for something, even if you drastically slash your price to approach this number, they're paying more than they anticipated, and you run the risk of having to prove you're a $500 (let's say) D.J., even if you're usually $1000 or more. While it's certainly not impossible to "pull off", you're being scrutinzed more, being paid less, and having to pull most of it out your butt to do it (no time for planning meetings, etc.).

2) The couple didn't call you, the "D.J." did. If you're saving someone, aren't you saving this poor excuse for a "D.J.", and if so, why would you want to? If you agreed to this, it's entirely possible that when you show up, you won't be seen as the "hero", but have the bride and groom mad at you for not being someone else. And then you're going to ask for more money on top of it?
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Uh oh...I agree with Steve. :)

Here is a personal example that I have experienced, which could provide some extra insight:

Last winter, I contacted a local club about DJing in there. They got back to me within a couple of weeks (that's kinda nice), telling me that they'll get back to me. Then they got back to me about another month after that, saying that they'll get back to me.

Then, about another two months later, I get a phone call from a Neanderthal, "Uh, hi, oh, ya, uh, how are you doing. Um, I'm the DJ [at this place] and I can't make it tonight, so, uh, could you go and spin for me?"

So, I wasn't good enough for them the first time. I was good enough for this clown who couldn't make it, even though it's his responsibility. If they had me in the first place, they wouldn't have this kind of crap. Then, while I'm spinning, the managers, owners, employees, and regulars are gonna just be finding excuses to legitimise the fact that their regular DJ was the right choice.
 
Well, for what they're worth here are my thoughts on the subject:

I don't fault the B&G. What happened is not their fault. They trusted a family member and he let 'em down. I should think he'll be on the chit list for a long time to come.

That being said, perhaps it's me. Maybe I'm getting older and have seen too much. Guess I've been burned before. But I'll tell yas all this ~ there is no way I'd walk into a reception blind. That ain't gonna happen, sorry about your luck.

It isn't an issue of money, folks. It's an issue of professional responsibility. Any client is better off with no DJ at all rather than a DJ who walks blind into a show. The risk of fouling up a bride's day is simply too high.
 
Chuck The DJ said:
Joe,,,, I would like to think that my years of DJing would allow me to go in and pull it off.

If it was in my town, chances are I would know the venue.....but if I didn't, let's be honest, what's the big deal, we set up where? Okay... The DJ should be able to supply you with a list of music requests if he did it in the first place....If not a short talk to the B&G during cocktails would be easy, they would understand... Crowds are crowds,, we read them all the time.

The biggest deal to me would be the money, but then if I am not working and I was planning on sitting home watching re-runs of L&O,,, $300.00 is a car payment....
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Chuck, I was only going by the info given. I don't know if he knows the venue. As for what the DJ SHOULD be able to supply- we're talking about someone who bailed at the last minute. I sure as hell wouldn't depend on HIS expertise to pull me through....

Yes, I agree that good experienced DJ might be able to pull it off, but this is why I said "speaking for myself only". Yes, I could probably pull it off, but without some prep, it wouldn't be the the best job that I could do. My way of thinking is that each event is a venue for exposure and a showcase for my skills. An advertisement for my business, if you will.

I'd rather let someone else get the exposure for an "adequate" job. That's assuming that unforseen circumstances don't make it damn near impossible to do. This is why I never work without a face-to-face. I need a read on the CLIENTS. The crowd is easy.

Also, as freakin' great as I am, I don't want to be the one to screw up a once in a lifetime memory. Yup, despite my terrificnous ( yeah, I know it's not a word) there are too many ways to for things to go wrong in this situation that are beyond my control...

The venue management, the venue logistics, the playlist, wording of announcements that would normally not matter that in this case may set someone off, etc...

How about a DJ I know who got into this situation: Announcing the Father/Bride dance.....unaware that the father, who attended the wedding ceremony, refused the reception due to disapproval of the groom. The bride left the room in tears. Or any of the other horror stories that you've heard that could have been avoided with proper prep..

And the venue: Where do we set up? How about outside, with speakers inside. I've seen it happen. Dirty power. I've seen it happen. No room because they screwed up the setup at the last minute. I've seen it happen. A multi-venue demanding that volume levels be kept below what is plausible for the size of the event. I've seen it happen.


Pass
 
I can not make a decision until I know...

WHY WAS HE NOT ABLE TO DJ IT?

If it was a REAL good reason, I may consider it.
But if he took a better paying gig, or it was a lame excuse for not doing it...... hell no!
 
Bill Kexel said:
I can not make a decision until I know...

WHY WAS HE NOT ABLE TO DJ IT?

If it was a REAL good reason, I may consider it.
But if he took a better paying gig, or it was a lame excuse for not doing it...... hell no!
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Yeah, kinda makes you wonder...what was the other DJ's excuse? It had better be a damned good one. When given the question, the J Mac and I always guarantee that at the very worst, only one of us would be the event for which we're contracted.

As for taking the event like that at the very last minute, the other DJ had better have a really good excuse and he'd better have all the information to share. Hopefully, he would be contacting whoever contracted him and provide them with our contact information. It's a sketchy situation and I can't really say whether I could take the event.
 
Bill Kexel said:
I can not make a decision until I know...

WHY WAS HE NOT ABLE TO DJ IT?

If it was a REAL good reason, I may consider it.
But if he took a better paying gig, or it was a lame excuse for not doing it...... hell no!
Click to expand...

I agree with Bill on the good reason part but if it is a lame excuse or the better paying gig,

Sure bud, I can bail your lame azz out. I'll take that $300 plus another $1,700 from you for it. You can give me the $2,000 in a cashiere's check, money order, or cash. Have somebody meet me there two hours before the start. I'll wait ten minutes and after that I'm gone.

And when the bride and groom asks if given a lame excuse or a better paying gig I'll tell them exactly what happened so that they can know their friend really isn't one.

I've actually been called by other DJs like this before. They've all been situations where they've double booked and are taking the higher paying event. Their answer is usualally "Are you s*$#ing me?" or "click". The first set is told that I'm deadly serious. I've never had a taker but I am sure they found some sucker.

Now I did have one last year with a good excuse. He had loaded his gear in his truck and it would not start. They guy was only five minutes from the house and the venue was in the neighborhood. There was still close to three hours to the event. I ran by his house, we transferred the gear, and I helped him work the wedding. He split the fee with me. He told be the next day that it was a bad battery cable. Once he replaced it I gave him a jump start and all was good.
 
A similar situation happened to me on Saturday:

cell phone rings, I'm about to leave for my wedding event....

bimbo: "Do you do last minute events?"

DJ-MC: "Yes, but I don't do them personally, and its too late for me to sign a contract, so I'm going to give you the phone number of one of my associates."

bimbo: "How much does he charge? We need him for 3 hours."

DJ-MC: "Well, normally he goes out for around $700 to $900, but since you are calling last minute, AND since I'm not going to make you pay my deposit ($200), he will probably give you 4 hours for $500."

bimbo: "My DJ was AFOAF and was going to charge me $300, but he has a sick relative that he has to take to the hospital, so he's not available."

DJ-MC (rolling on the floor laughing): "And you believe that heap of BS....that hospital story? What he really meant was: 'I found a higher paying gig and now I'm bailing on you." Did you have a written contract?"

bimbo: "No"

DJ-MC: "Ok, that says it all.......I'll have my DJ call you at this number (on my cell phone), within the next 10 minutes."


(NOTE: I haven't spoken to Ali, not sure if he booked it. It doesn't matter, my event was great and paid over $1k)
 
Mr. K said:
I stipulate on my contract that I do not have to fulfill my obligations if I die. :)
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There ya go takin' the easy way out. I happen to be a class act. I do not have to fulfill my obligations if I am dead AT LEAST 24 hours, and a blood relative presents a note from my mortician....
 
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