Possible Dadzilla

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nextgen1

nextgen1

Mac Daddy DJ
Sep 23, 2006
3,178
784
65
Waterford, CA.
www.tngdj.com
I had a wedding rehearsal tonight. Now I do these only if we are free and I do them for free as a courtesy. Yea yea I know many would not do this but it put us in an very good way with brides and our service. At tonight's rehearsal the dad snapped at me twice and both where uncalled for. He went out of his way to apologize and let me know he has been under a large amount of pressure because of the wedding the last 3 days.

The bride even came up after the rehearsal to say she was very sorry. Fast forward I'm packing up and dad approaches me and I'm thinking hmm ok whats up. He reaches over and stuffs a 100 dollar bill in my hand says again he was such an a$$. I also asked the bride if he was going to be ok tomorrow and she said yes. So I'm not sure whether to be ready for a tough one or maybe expect more money lol. :sqwink:
 
Intentionally do things to piss him off.....it will be like hitting the lottery, LOL
 
Dave, I'd bet he's a decent guy when not stressed out over his little girl's wedding. :D

I enjoy rehearsals, they're so informal and we get to meet many of the folks on a personal level. Some rehearsals can be a party all by themselves.

I know ya didn't ask... but here's what I'd do: Put the Franklin in a wedding greeting card and place it on the gift table for the B&G. :)
 
Fred you are really making it hard for me not to like you LOL. Good show. Dave you know I respect you like a brother and I admire the huge progress you have made in the past 3-4 yrs. Incredible as you are one of the real pros of the industry. Dont ever lose that passion my friend it shines like Gold. Dont worry about Dad he was micro managing as he doesnt get to do this again unless he has other daughters. If he does I am sure you will get his vote for the future events.
 
Fred Wright said:
Dave, I'd bet he's a decent guy when not stressed out over his little girl's wedding. :D

I enjoy rehearsals, they're so informal and we get to meet many of the folks on a personal level. Some rehearsals can be a party all by themselves.

I know ya didn't ask... but here's what I'd do: Put the Franklin in a wedding greeting card and place it on the gift table for the B&G. :)
Click to expand...

Very classy!:sqbiggrin:
 
nextgen1 said:
I had a wedding rehearsal tonight. Now I do these only if we are free and I do them for free as a courtesy. Yea yea I know many would not do this but it put us in an very good way with brides and our service. At tonight's rehearsal the dad snapped at me twice and both where uncalled for. He went out of his way to apologize and let me know he has been under a large amount of pressure because of the wedding the last 3 days.

The bride even came up after the rehearsal to say she was very sorry. Fast forward I'm packing up and dad approaches me and I'm thinking hmm ok whats up. He reaches over and stuffs a 100 dollar bill in my hand says again he was such an a$$. I also asked the bride if he was going to be ok tomorrow and she said yes. So I'm not sure whether to be ready for a tough one or maybe expect more money lol. :sqwink:
Click to expand...

If that's how he appologizes.... I say Cha-Ching!!!
 
Ok we did the event and I have to say that the only thing I would have done with the 100 dollars other than keep it. Would have been to stuff it up the dads ass connected to a 2 by 4. This had to be one of my most difficult events since 2005 when we started. The wedding was successful and the bride and groom where happy but dad was a pain in my ass beyond belief. I guess he was paying for everything and he made sure everyone knew about it. I'm playing some hip hop full dance floor including bride and groom. Pretty soon dads best friend pulls me inside the house and says.

"Rick hates this Crap so don't play any more of it" Hmm ok I will see what I can do. I didn't say anything to the bride and groom because there is tons of other music I could play. And I was not getting any request for it so no problem. Ok I have a packed dance floor and I'm playing some disco mom is dancing bride and groom is dancing. Pretty soon dad walks up nice and lit and leans up against my laptop and I literally had to tell him not to do that and moved it out of his way. His words are. "I hate this disco Crap don't play anymore of it". So I tell him I'm playing to the dance floor and simply trying to keep his daughters party going. He states firmly I hate this Crap don't play any more of it.

Ok so right about now I'm feeling like my hands are getting tied dad basically liked 80s and classic rock. Well I'm keeping the dance floor fairly busy with other stuff but not many requests with disco or hip hop anymore so I'm just trying to make it work. Pretty soon the request started coming in for hip hop and disco and I had to tell folks I was being limited on what I could play. At this time I felt that it was directly effecting the bride and groom so since I was contracted with them I went and told them not to cause any problems but I felt that my hands where being tied and I didn't want the B&G to feel it was me so I told them what was going on.

You could tell the bride was kinda pissed at her dad I kept hearing from other folks in side conversation what and ass he is The groom told me to keep it off unless requested and then if I had any problems send dad his way. About 1/2 hour later it was pretty played out and everything was basically over. We played the last dance. Bride and groom left and we got the hell out of hell. I told my wife I would not do another event for them even if they wanted us. Again the bride and groom where very happy and told us we had done and excellent job for them.

I can honestly say I just flat out hated this wedding and had never had experienced anything like this dad. It was a total experience in rude behavior. The bad thing was I kept hearing the bride was a bridezilla though it never came close to us. By the way the B&G where both Cops. Thanks for listening to my rant. I always ask the wife to grade me and she can be harsh because I want the honestly so I can become even better. She gave me a solid "A". But I am bald now from pulling out my hair. :sqlaugh:
 
Wow I say way to prove your grit. Welcome to the big leagues bro. Not all are peaches and cream. the next one wil make you appreciate the norm. Dad was an Ass ya got paid. sometimes we have to earn our money.
 
For You JT Vegas The wedding from last week made my day. Also here is a video of the last dance. They are long so if you don't want to watch them you have been warned. At one point the bride and groom during there last dance wanted us to come out and share the dance with them. What a special and genuine couple, what a pleasure.


This is a private video on Vimeo

Jacob & Megan Last Dance on Vimeo
 
nextgen1 said:
Ok we did the event and I have to say that the only thing I would have done with the 100 dollars other than keep it. Would have been to stuff it up the dads ass connected to a 2 by 4. This had to be one of my most difficult events since 2005 when we started. The wedding was successful and the bride and groom where happy but dad was a pain in my ass beyond belief. I guess he was paying for everything and he made sure everyone knew about it. I'm playing some hip hop full dance floor including bride and groom. Pretty soon dads best friend pulls me inside the house and says.

"Rick hates this Crap so don't play any more of it" Hmm ok I will see what I can do. I didn't say anything to the bride and groom because there is tons of other music I could play. And I was not getting any request for it so no problem. Ok I have a packed dance floor and I'm playing some disco mom is dancing bride and groom is dancing. Pretty soon dad walks up nice and lit and leans up against my laptop and I literally had to tell him not to do that and moved it out of his way. His words are. "I hate this disco Crap don't play anymore of it". So I tell him I'm playing to the dance floor and simply trying to keep his daughters party going. He states firmly I hate this Crap don't play any more of it.

Ok so right about now I'm feeling like my hands are getting tied dad basically liked 80s and classic rock. Well I'm keeping the dance floor fairly busy with other stuff but not many requests with disco or hip hop anymore so I'm just trying to make it work. Pretty soon the request started coming in for hip hop and disco and I had to tell folks I was being limited on what I could play. At this time I felt that it was directly effecting the bride and groom so since I was contracted with them I went and told them not to cause any problems but I felt that my hands where being tied and I didn't want the B&G to feel it was me so I told them what was going on.

You could tell the bride was kinda pissed at her dad I kept hearing from other folks in side conversation what and ass he is The groom told me to keep it off unless requested and then if I had any problems send dad his way. About 1/2 hour later it was pretty played out and everything was basically over. We played the last dance. Bride and groom left and we got the hell out of hell. I told my wife I would not do another event for them even if they wanted us. Again the bride and groom where very happy and told us we had done and excellent job for them.

I can honestly say I just flat out hated this wedding and had never had experienced anything like this dad. It was a total experience in rude behavior. The bad thing was I kept hearing the bride was a bridezilla though it never came close to us. By the way the B&G where both Cops. Thanks for listening to my rant. I always ask the wife to grade me and she can be harsh because I want the honestly so I can become even better. She gave me a solid "A". But I am bald now from pulling out my hair. :sqlaugh:
Click to expand...

Weird, I played this exact same event last weekend. Well, except it was the groomsmen instead of the dad. Kept me in a funk for 3 days. Forget it. You handled it as well as you could and it's over.
 
nextgen1 said:
But I am bald now from pulling out my hair. :sqlaugh:
Click to expand...

Dave, my friend, now you know what happened to me! LOL

Seriously, you do what you can do in the best interest of the B&G and always try your best to make everyone happy. That is what makes you a professional.

Occasionally you will have one where there is someone that just won't be pleased.
 
Thanks for the report, Dave.

Thanks, too for being professional about it. It's times like these that try our souls and our patience.

Your experience is one we've all heard and seen often ~ the person who paid for the wedding thinks it's all about him or her. I always thought the bride was the star at her wedding. :)
 
If you think about it, it's events like these that make the great families that you work for all the more special.



I had an uncle back in February that kept constantly requesting slow classic rock/grateful dead and kept saying the dad demands it next. All while a packed dance floor. He kept adding the phrase, "we are white, you know." I even tried to compromise with him and said how about I play some classic rock that some people will dance to. He didn't want that.
I kept blowing him off, then he sends the dad up. I did finally play a 2 of those songs during a slow break, but instead of satisfying him, it just made him request more.

I finally told him..."sorry, I have too many requests from the bride and groom. He said I already talked to them and they wanted to hear it"...which I knew wasn't true. I smiled and said, "Oh great, then next time I talk to them I'll get their ok.
He turns and walks away and says "*******"
 
Scott Hanna said:
He kept adding the phrase, "we are white, you know."
Click to expand...
I once shut a racist's mouth with a response that created such a conflict in her mind that she actually stammered and caused the police officer to laugh out loud at her ignorance.

Never attack ignorance, always shine a light on it, they'll run from the challenge, like all cowards do.
 
nextgen: As others have noted on this thread, you'll get jerks who decide that their wishes are more important than those of the bride and groom - even if they're not paying for it. How a DJ deals with it is a matter of professionalism. It sounds like you handled the situation well. Good work! That's the best thing you could've done for the bride.
 
I have a clause in my contract that states :

The Bride and Groom are in complete control of the event no matter who signs the contract and pays for event. It is their big day and all requests will be cleared by them.
Click to expand...

I have used this clause a couple times and the B and G have had my back both times.
 
Karl Langford said:
I have a clause in my contract that states :

The Bride and Groom are in complete control of the event no matter who signs the contract and pays for event. It is their big day and all requests will be cleared by them.
Click to expand...

I have used this clause a couple times and the B and G have had my back both times.
Click to expand...
Why put the onus on the Newlyweds?

They hire us to handle all matters entertainment, requests are but 1.

I prefer this clause:

Music programming will be at the sole discretion of contractee (ME) with full appreciation for requests and age appropriate/edited for air play selections. There will be no cause for default based on music programming.
 
Or to make it even simpler, why not ask the B&G during consultations (and again just before the event...just to make sure) who has the final say in music selection?

Both Karl's and Rox's clauses have their pros and cons.

Since this is such an unusual occurence, I say use the KISS method.
 
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