Dealing with the ultimate sucky song list

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rickryan.com said:
Had one off the hook great last night. Everything worked, energy through the roof. Tonight's adventure begins last week, first time I'd seen any requests from the B&G. Instead of filling out my Online Planner, she sends me a 5-page Word doc. Bunch of prelim dances; mom/grandma, 2 "first dances" (I dunno), mom & dad, etc. Weird, and I predict it's going to feel like forever. Then we get into the requests. First thing off, she says "definitely don't want played"; Baby Got Back, YMCA, Cupid, Dougie, Wobble, Cha Cha Slide, "or any of those group type dance songs". I got on the phone with her and spent about 20 minutes, gently telling her "You can either have your list or you can have a dance party, but you can't have both." (I was diplomatic). She said she understood, wants a dance party and agreed to let me shift several of the "must plays" into the dinner set. Problem is, this is a monumentally-bad list of songs. Worst I've ever seen, no contest. We're talking things like "Angel From Montgomery" Susan Tedeschi, "The Seed" The Roots, "Dudley's Kitchen" The String Cheese Incident, "Got It All" Portugal The Man. I wasn't familiar with about half her selections and took the time to listen and categorize each. She swears that her crowd is not your typical wedding crowd and they won't be requesting the mainstays and I made sure to assure her that I only wanted to please her and try to make as much work as possible. Problem is, I can't say that I see even one single selection that will even remotely work on the drunkest of crowds. Who knows, I might be completely surprised but I'm predicting a train wreck. My question, when posed with a perceived "no win" situation like this, do you just strictly play the list or do you try to sprinkle enough of the list into the middle of stuff that works (of course, avoiding a large portion of your go-to list)?
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I haven't read this thread beyond the first post but, to address your initial contention I would say this:

Where you admit that you are not familiar and have no prior experience with the majority of songs on her list - you also have to admit that you are not qualified to tell her that those songs won't or can't work.

This is important - because time and time again DJs blame the bride for bad music taste when the truth is that her music taste simply lies outside of the DJs range. The fault really lies with the DJ for not making it clear in the sales effort what kind of DJ he really is.

If the problem were the bride - then record pools like Promo Only would serve up just one format: "Mainstream Radio." Yet, we know they serve up formats from underground to adult contemporary and everything in between. If DJs understand the need for all these formats, then why are we blaming the client every time we meet someone who's taste is outside our own personal genre?

We can not be all things to everyone, and while we are able to play any song available - it does not necessarily follow that we will be capable of presenting it successfully to those who truly appreciate it. To do justice to someone's requests and integrate them appropriately you have to understand the genre they are asking for. Instead, many DJs simply resign themselves to insert what they consider the "odd balls" into places where they will cause the least disruption to the DJs personal preferences and knowledge base.
 
Proformance said:
Where you admit that you are not familiar and have no prior experience with the majority of songs on her list - you also have to admit that you are not qualified to tell her that those songs won't or can't work.
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You really should read more before inserting your opinion. Then again, it's becoming apparent that your motivation isn't positive discussion, it's negative argument. After reading the list I told her that, of the material I was familiar with, it wouldn't work. I also told her I'd download and listen to everything else, which I did. The rest of it was equally as bad, or worse.

Proformance said:
This is important - because time and time again DJs blame the bride for bad music taste when the truth is that her music taste simply lies outside of the DJs range. The fault really lies with the DJ for not making it clear in the sales effort what kind of DJ he really is.
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Here again, you make assertion that you can't backup. Pretty much any of us can listen to a piece and know instantly whether it'll fill or kill the dance floor. I took the time to review everything she'd asked for and made her aware of my opinion. My opinion was correct (according to the response on the selections I used off her list).

Proformance said:
If the problem were the bride - then record pools like Promo Only would serve up just one format: "Mainstream Radio." Yet, we know they serve up formats from underground to adult contemporary and everything in between. If DJs understand the need for all these formats, then why are we blaming the client every time we meet someone who's taste is outside our own personal genre?
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I didn't blame anyone. I simply posed the question, "Do you want a dance party or do you want your list?" I then took the time to educate her and let her make the call on what she wanted. I then executed her wishes, to the letter.

Proformance said:
We can not be all things to everyone, and while we are able to play any song available - it does not necessarily follow that we will be capable of presenting it successfully to those who truly appreciate it. To do justice to someone's requests and integrate them appropriately you have to understand the genre they are asking for. Instead, many DJs simply resign themselves to insert what they consider the "odd balls" into places where they will cause the least disruption to the DJs personal preferences and knowledge base.
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Again, your wrong assertion. The list went down exactly as I predicted, I made adjustments, and her party was wildly successful. At this point I've had two very strongly complimentary emails with a promise of a glowing review upon her return from her honeymoon. Now whether she follows through remains to be seen but one thing's for certain, she had an absolute rocking dance party, just as she requested.
 
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rickryan.com said:
You really should read more before inserting your opinion. Then again, it's becoming apparent that your motivation isn't positive discussion, it's negative argument. After reading the list I told her that, of the material I was familiar with, it wouldn't work. I also told her I'd download and listen to everything else, which I did. The rest of it was equally as bad, or worse.

Here again, you make assertion that you can't backup. Pretty much any of us can listen to a piece and know instantly whether it'll fill or kill the dance floor. I took the time to review everything she'd asked for and made her aware of my opinion. My opinion was correct (according to the response on the selections I used off her list).

I didn't blame anyone. I simply posed the question, "Do you want a dance party or do you want your list?" I then took the time to educate her and let her make the call on what she wanted. I then executed her wishes, to the letter.

Again, your wrong assertion. The list went down exactly as I predicted, I made adjustments, and her party was wildly successful. At this point I've had two very strongly complimentary emails with a promise of a glowing review upon her return from her honeymoon. Now whether she follows through remains to be seen but one thing's for certain, she had an absolute rocking dance party, just as she requested.
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I'm not surprised that the list would "go down" exactly as you predicted :) - it's a concept you consistently miss.

Songs don't kill dance floors, DJs do.
 
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Proformance said:
I'm not surprised that the list would "go down" exactly as you predicted :) - it's a concept you consistently miss.

Songs don't kill dance floors, DJs do.
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Yea, obviously you're the superior DJ and would be able to pack them in, even when playing "Dead Skunk In the Middle of the Road".
 
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maestro said:
Rick, don't you know that all 'superior' DJ's hide behind a mask of anonymity? :rolleyes:
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What do you mean "anonymity"? I have met Bob and been to his warehouse, yes I did say warehouse, not a garage, shed or trailer in the backyard. He is as legit as they come and knows his stuff. There are not that many DJs on here that can repair or build their own gear and he is one of them. I hope that puts things to rest.

Unfortunately there is an attitude of, if one cannot compare with another, then the best thing to do is attack the other person's integrity. If you ask me, Bob is a very modest fella and he does not have to be. Just setting the record straight. The New England boys are sharp as tacks! Thats where I got my start, New England, Boston to be exact!

Update:
BTW Bob did have a filled out profile on here for quite some years. He even had a photo with him and his wife.
 
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While you may have met him and know him, most of us here do not. We really on members filling in their profiles to give them the credit they may deserve. Heck, I've been building speaker cabinets and wiring stuff up since I was in my early teens but that doesn't automatically mean that I can rock a dance floor. However, my reviews on WeddingWire prove that. :)
 
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Proformance said:
I'm not surprised that the list would "go down" exactly as you predicted :) - it's a concept you consistently miss.

Songs don't kill dance floors, DJs do.
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What the hell are you talking about! Make up your mind. Let a DJ play the wrong song at the wrong time and the dance floor can get killed. I've had it happen. I've even made the mistake of playing a request that killed the dance floor. Luckily I know what to do to quickly get the dance floor packed again. I've even refused to play a request knowing if I play it the dance floor will clear. Sometimes I've even lied and told the person I don't have that song.

I don't know any DJ that has been doing this a long time that such things haven't happened to them. What really sucks is when you have a dead crowd that won't dance at all no matter what you do or play. It's not always the DJ's fault. There are just some crowds that aren't the dancing type.

The class reunion we did wasn't the big dancing crowd. Yet when finished we had a bunch of people telling us what a great job we did and how if they need a DJ they will be calling us. Just because some crowds don't dance doesn't mean you did a bad job. We all would love every event we do has a packed dance floor. That's just the nature of a DJ's ego. It's one thing killing a dance floor in a bar so the patrons can go back to the bar and get another drink. It's another thing when doing a private event.
 
maestro said:
While you may have met him and know him, most of us here do not. We really on members filling in their profiles to give them the credit they may deserve. Heck, I've been building speaker cabinets and wiring stuff up since I was in my early teens but that doesn't automatically mean that I can rock a dance floor. However, my reviews on WeddingWire prove that. :)
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Don't want to get into a pissing match here but Reviews are for those who want them. My Agency keeps me very busy and I have my own sources. I also generate my own Gigs by pounding the pavement or creating the shows myself. I don't need a pat on the back from some Bride on some site saying how good I am. There are many here who scoff about paying an Agent a commission but have no problem paying a Site like Wedding Wire for the privilege to be on their site. I would take the agency path over the Internet Site any day. Every time my agency calls its $$$$$$$$. No beating around the bush. Reviews also are relative and subjective to a point. If one's reviews are so great, then one would not have to worry about making the next person happy. As long as I get the business then my own personal success has been achieved. I can't take reviews to the bank.
 
Sorry, Pro...
but I don't know who ended up "losing" in this scenario!
Any one of us could play all the bad songs a bride wants to hear...in fact, I'm sure we all did it at least once.
And I'm sure we have all been surprised once or twice, when an obscure song filled the floor.
What a bride LIKES, may not always be quite what they WANT...and sometimes, you have be tell them.
It's important to remember that Rick did not REFUSE her anything.
He shared his concerns about "the list" and warned her it may not work out as she had hoped/planned.
He tried playing the songs she wanted, and it didn't work.
He got permission to adjust, and the night ended nicely.

I think it takes more of a professional to be honest with a client and express your concerns...than it does to just play off a list.
Because we are NOT just hired to fulfill a client's wishes for their event...
we are also hired to make it as good as, or BETTER than it can be.
 
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One of the 1st things I learned...if a song kills the floor, fade to another track as soon as sonically possible...no need to play the entire song!
 
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Chaps, just got a review in on this event. Perfect 5.0 score on weddingwire and her comment:

The easiest & best vendor I dealt with throughout my wedding! So professional & thorough. I would highly reccomend Rick to anyone. Very flexible & attentive to his client's needs!
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