Event Pacing - The key to the "Magic" (blog)

[mikemerlin]

I would agree with you there Scott except that most of the people responding to this thread seem to think that those who don't follow their lead are wrong. They refuse to accept that there are other ways of doing things. Hopefully my responses here have opened up the eyes of some who want to make additional revenue for other services rendered instead of giving it away for free. Maybe they need to broaden their minds so their Horizons can follow! For some, it is so easier to attack the Messenger instead of listening and understanding the message!

I believe it was you Houston, who called out Rick for being wrong for working closely with the B&G and the various vendors. (Your first post) In regards to me saying you don't do weddings, you don't (different from you have done weddings) do them on a regular basis and have refused to say when the last one you did was. Also are you serious about the comment below?

"Making and announcement from my Booth such as "Would someone please help to find the Groom and let him know that it is time to cut the Cake" is far different than leaving the Booth to hunt him down."

I would love to see you in action at a wedding!

Attention ladies and gentlemen, can someone please find the bride's father? (would you make an announcement for someone to give you the thumbs up when they found him?)
Attention ladies and gentlemen we need the B&G to report to the cake table!

Attention ladies and gentlemen we have a car illegally parked with license plate HOU-STON in the back!

 

[Scott Hanna]

I would agree with you there Scott except that most of the people responding to this thread seem to think that those who don't follow their lead are wrong. They refuse to accept that there are other ways of doing things. Hopefully my responses here have opened up the eyes of some who want to make additional revenue for other services rendered instead of giving it away for free. Maybe they need to broaden their minds so their Horizons can follow! For some, it is so easier to attack the Messenger instead of listening and understanding the message!

Canute,
ill be very frank with you. Personally, I think you are very knowledgable about sound. I have no doubt you know more than I do. I do read your posts and find them very informative. However, I do understand why some people get ticked at you. You do seem to talk down to people on occasions, although it is subtle sometimes. Even when it's subtle, people know when you are belittling them.

i come from a large family that will easily rip you for anything. You have to have a thick skin in our family. However, I have to understand that not everyone is like that and will appreciate the ripping. I have a relative that seems to not understand that concept. He doesn't understand why it's ok in our family, but people outside of the family want to beat him upside the head when he does the same thing.

Basically, as I've said before, it's not what you are saying, it's how you are saying it. I'm not saying you should lie to people and tell them you agree with them when you don't. But sometimes very small word choices can skew the meaning. Remember, in a post,no one can hear the inflection in your voice, or the look in your eyes, so the words matter.

Please don't think you are the only one or that it's all of your posts. Most have done it sometime or another. You are a heavy poster here, so if only 5% of your posts are like that,it will seem like its "all the time"

Sure, we can tell people "suck it up", "grow a set", or "man up". But history has proven when it starts.....the thread quickly gets derailed and people are "one upping" each other rather than legitimately arguing a point.

some people start them, some jump on a lot of them, some get sucked in,and some are able to completely avoid it. I feel like I get sucked in on occasion. Which is my fault.

 

[ahoustondj]

Canute,
ill be very frank with you. (Snip)............................................(Snipped).Which is my fault.

Scott, I appreciate your candid honesty but I am who I am. I call things like I see them and don't want to have to worry about sugar coating anything. Like I have stated many times before, this ain't no Bakery. I have discovered however that the ones who are quite inflamed by some of my directness may be the very ones who are guilty of the issues to which are being addressed. Their means of responding is to go on the attack and knowing that the person being attacked, be it me or Bob, will not get any sympathy from the haters. I have since taken the stance to be careful of how my phrases are written so that the innocent are not blamed for the foolhardiness of others. I mean what do I do when a person accuses me of not knowing what I am doing because as they say and think, I don't do Weddings? How many times have I corrected these folks? Is hardheadedness the new sport? If so, they had better wear a sturdy helmet when coming into the fray.

You and and I have had disagreements in the past, how come it never ascended to this level of stupidity being expressed by some? We can agree to disagree. I will heed your words because I respect you as being one of the more level headed chaps if that means anything to you. Just remember, I don't like biting my tongue...that SOB hurts like Hell!

- - - Updated - - -

I believe it was you Houston, who called out Rick for being wrong for working closely with the B&G and the various vendors. (Your first post) In regards to me saying you don't do weddings, you don't (different from you have done weddings) do them on a regular basis and have refused to say when the last one you did was. Also are you serious about the comment below?

"Making and announcement from my Booth such as "Would someone please help to find the Groom and let him know that it is time to cut the Cake" is far different than leaving the Booth to hunt him down."

I would love to see you in action at a wedding!

Attention ladies and gentlemen, can someone please find the bride's father? (would you make an announcement for someone to give you the thumbs up when they found him?)
Attention ladies and gentlemen we need the B&G to report to the cake table!

Attention ladies and gentlemen we have a car illegally parked with license plate HOU-STON in the back!

The man posted something on Wedding Wire.
He shared it on the Forum
He was looking to get Feedback or maybe a Pat on the Back (Like Robin Thicke sang, seems like "Blurred Lines")

Feedback is what he got! Capiche????

 

[steve149]

You don't do weddings, you're part time, and short on the resources people who truly do this professionally have at their disposal - and you think he's the presumptive one?

There is no right or wrong it's just a freakin' wedding - there is quiet professionalism and loud amateurs. The latter is thinking you are the only one who can perform the highly technical and dangerous task of lining up the wedding party or all hell will break loose. Those of you who have never worked with a team or on collaborative projects seem woefully ill-equipped to delegate or work seamlessly with others. Being a really great DJ and being a control freak are in fact, mutually exclusive.

I may be part-time and not do weddings .. not sure what resources I'm shy on though .. but in the end, I'm pretty smart. I know when someone is presumptive to the point of being myopic .. my way or the wrong way.

I have NO SUCH aspirations to be a do all ... I just find it silly that there is so much fuss about "lack of professionalism" .. "must be a hobbyist" .. when we're talking about handling a situation that apparently most everyone here, except for you and Canute, seem to find happens almost all the time. Maybe the markets are truly different. Maybe we're just more adaptable. But in the end, a job must be done, and you can either do it or not.

I come from the technology field. I have worked on product development and product marketing teams. I have been in sales for almost 30 years. I know what collaborative teams are (there's that presumption again). But I still want to know WHO you would be collaborating with if there is no one on the other side? That seems to be the question being evaded here .. If there is no planner and the tasks had been delegated to a whatever-in-law and they just don't know how to do it .. Do you do it or not? The folks seem to be taking a lot of grief for "just doing it" .. not proactively seeking out to take over the wedding (like has been implied) . but doing what has to be done without making a big deal out of it.

- - - Updated - - -

I just got a call from a "friend" here on this forum who told me that someone was making a negative reference to a Statement I made in post # 102 where I said, Quote: "Yep, we do differ. I can't speak for you but I run a business not a Hobby or Charity.". That someone seems to think I was condescending. My question is, to who was I condescending? I was referring to my nature of business. Never did I say someone else is running a Hobby or Charity. However, we do all know that indeed there are people who operate their DJ Gigs as a Hobby and some actually perform for free which is Charitable. So if that person's feathers are so easily ruffled by such a simple statement then all I have left to say is the following Caption:


View attachment 26588

Canute .. we have no idea who you have on ignore. But if you don't want comments back, don't post in the first place. Remember, were all adults here.

 

[mikemerlin]

Scott, I appreciate your candid honesty but I am who I am. I call things like I see them and don't want to have to worry about sugar coating anything. Like I have stated many times before, this ain't no Bakery. I have discovered however that the ones who are quite inflamed by some of my directness may be the very ones who are guilty of the issues to which are being addressed. Their means of responding is to go on the attack and knowing that the person being attacked, be it me or Bob, will not get any sympathy from the haters. I have since taken the stance to be careful of how my phrases are written so that the innocent are not blamed for the foolhardiness of others. I mean what do I do when a person accuses me of not knowing what I am doing because as they say and think, I don't do Weddings? How many times have I corrected these folks? Is hardheadedness the new sport? If so, they had better wear a sturdy helmet when coming into the fray.

You and and I have had disagreements in the past, how come it never ascended to this level of stupidity being expressed by some? We can agree to disagree. I will heed your words because I respect you as being one of the more level headed chaps if that means anything to you. Just remember, I don't like biting my tongue...that SOB hurts like Hell!

- - - Updated - - -


The man posted something on Wedding Wire.
He shared it on the Forum
He was looking to get Feedback or maybe a Pat on the Back (Like Robin Thicke sang, seems like "Blurred Lines")

Feedback is what he got! Capiche????

And feedback is what you are getting as well. The fact is, you said you'd jump on the mic to page the Groom that it's time to cut the cake ,and quite frankly it's hard to give credibility when you would cattle call the entire evening...and oh yeah, you don't. do. weddings. (not the same as you've done weddings)

 

[ahoustondj]

And feedback is what you are getting as well. The fact is, you said you'd jump on the mic to page the Groom that it's time to cut the cake ,and quite frankly it's hard to give credibility when you would cattle call the entire evening...and oh yeah, you don't. do. weddings. (not the same as you've done weddings)

 

[ittigger]

Canute .. we have no idea who you have on ignore. But if you don't want comments back, don't post in the first place. Remember, were all adults here.

He wants the one sided arguments .. that way he can preach without seeing all the other possibilities and hearing 'flak' over what he sees are the proper ways. Yet another sad part is now there are other 'problem children'. I wonder what the common denominator is here. Hmmmm.

This is why I said - if you all ignore him, maybe he'll grow up and learn to play nice. He is right, he is who he is. If you don't like the way that he is, then you don't have to partake in his conversations.

 

[Proformance]

I may be part-time and not do weddings .. not sure what resources I'm shy on though .. but in the end, I'm pretty smart. I know when someone is presumptive to the point of being myopic .. my way or the wrong way.

I have NO SUCH aspirations to be a do all ... I just find it silly that there is so much fuss about "lack of professionalism" .. "must be a hobbyist" .. when we're talking about handling a situation that apparently most everyone here, except for you and Canute, seem to find happens almost all the time. Maybe the markets are truly different. Maybe we're just more adaptable. But in the end, a job must be done, and you can either do it or not.

I come from the technology field. I have worked on product development and product marketing teams. I have been in sales for almost 30 years. I know what collaborative teams are (there's that presumption again). But I still want to know WHO you would be collaborating with if there is no one on the other side? That seems to be the question being evaded here .. If there is no planner and the tasks had been delegated to a whatever-in-law and they just don't know how to do it .. Do you do it or not? The folks seem to be taking a lot of grief for "just doing it" .. not proactively seeking out to take over the wedding (like has been implied) . but doing what has to be done without making a big deal out of it.

It is the level of debate that is amateurish. You are trying to equate basic acts of self-reliance with "wedding planning" and "Wedding coordination." That any of you would argue that to verify there is a knife on the cake table is "magic" or some elusive professional skill - is laughable. Doing so is nothing more than common sense. To know that people you are about to invite to dance are actually in the room is not a professional skill - it's basic awareness. This does not rise to the level of "wedding coordinator" or "wedding planner" I'm sorry - but you are all liars by gross exaggeration.

This is the level of debate you are trying to have over this Steve, Mike, et. al. and you look like buffoons to those of us who actually do special events for a living. I don't pretend that tying my shoes before walking is professional skill worthy of the title "magic." Nor do I have clients foolish enough to buy into that kind of puffery. If I'm truly authentic I don't need to appropriate titles or over-stated adjectives for myself.-

 

[Proformance]

I come from the technology field. I have worked on product development and product marketing teams.

None of which provided you with an ounce of experience or knowledge about wedding planning or wedding coordination.

How many weddings have you planned with a couple? (No! Not the "to do list" you call a timeline - I mean actual wedding planning?)
How many weddings have you staged?
How many site-survey's have you conducted?
How many caterers and site managers recognize you, know your name and can remember something remarkable about the last event you planned?

I can guarantee you that the people being presumptive are not the ones with actual wedding planning experience.

 

[ittigger]

It is the level of debate that is amateurish. You are trying to equate basic acts of self-reliance with "wedding planning" and "Wedding coordination." That any of you would argue that to verify there is a knife on the cake table is "magic" or some elusive professional skill - is laughable. Doing so is nothing more than common sense. To know that people you are about to invite to dance are actually in the room is not a professional skill - it's basic awareness. This does not rise to the level of "wedding coordinator" or "wedding planner" I'm sorry - but you are all liars by gross exaggeration.

This is the level of debate you are trying to have over this Steve, Mike, et. al. and you look like buffoons to those of us who actually do special events for a living. I don't pretend that tying my shoes before walking is professional skill worthy of the title "magic." Nor do I have clients foolish enough to buy into that kind of puffery. If I'm truly authentic I don't need to appropriate titles or over-stated adjectives for myself.-

Hate it to break it to you but you're just as authentic as anyone else on this board.

No one is arguing that common sense is not involved - the debate 'was' that some feel it is not their duty to ensure certain things are in place prior to said events. That seems to be not so common sense to one. Defend him all you want, but he is wrong in his statements and his assumptions - and anyone with an ounce of professionalism, experience, common sense and knowledge can see that. Those same people have also made some pretty drastic and wide assumptions.

I can assume everyone from Texas is an a$$, would that be proper for me to do? Or would it be proper for me to assume that there are all kinds of people with all kinds of skills, experience and sense - some that I may not know or have experienced, some that they may not know or have experienced and some that neither party has experienced. This is the kind of immature crap going on here. Those unwilling to see with their eyes open will have nothing but conflict and will eventually become nothing more than an existence. For those that wish to establish, preach and teach standards, you have to want your peers to learn and accept ideas from you - and you should hear their ideas - otherwise all you're doing is pushing them away. If every time you speak, you end up in a dispute, maybe it's you that has the problem.

 

[Proformance]

this does seem to be a re-acurring theme with you, Bob. You claim to know all of the faults of "most DJs." You've pointed out just about every possible one.

However, they are so general, they can be applied to any group....or at least can't be challenged for any validity.

Every negative thing you've mentioned about djs can be applied to:

most photographers....really don't know what all of the functions on their camera does
most government workers
Most professional baseball players.... live under the poverty level
most Internet forum posters
most red haired people
most college students......never graduate
most blondes....don't actually have more fun...it's a myth
Most lawyers...most barely passed the bar...have a very difficult time succeeding in law firms or establishing their own firm

In fact ,did you know that most people that like to point out the negatives in the most of any group of people.....over and over....to that group of oeople....can be called such things as:

downer
buzzkill
funsucker
captain obvious

Thank you Dr. Phil
Take notes Scott - at least I'm talking about DJs (which is what this site is about.)
You're just obsessed with rambling on about me.
I think people call that: wannabe.

PS: Using smiles in a personal attack is cowardly not clever. Just grow a pair already.

 

[ittigger]

This is stupid. Mods, please close this heavily derailed and crashed thread.

Everyone, carry on doing what you do. For those of you that are making a living doing it, don't change a dang thing - because it's obviously working for you.

 

[Proformance]

Hate it to break it to you but you're just as authentic as anyone else on this board.

No one is arguing that common sense is not involved - the debate 'was' that some feel it is not their duty to ensure certain things are in place prior to said events. That seems to be not so common sense to one. Defend him all you want, but he is wrong in his statements and his assumptions - and anyone with an ounce of professionalism, experience, common sense and knowledge can see that. Those same people have also made some pretty drastic and wide assumptions.

I can assume everyone from Texas is an a$$, would that be proper for me to do? Or would it be proper for me to assume that there are all kinds of people with all kinds of skills, experience and sense - some that I may not know or have experienced, some that they may not know or have experienced and some that neither party has experienced. This is the kind of immature crap going on here. Those unwilling to see with their eyes open will have nothing but conflict and will eventually become nothing more than an existence. For those that wish to establish, preach and teach standards, you have to want your peers to learn and accept ideas from you - and you should hear their ideas - otherwise all you're doing is pushing them away. If every time you speak, you end up in a dispute, maybe it's you that has the problem.

Canute didn't say he works with his eyes and ears covered as you suggest (a lie on your part, really.) He said he doesn't appropriate those responsibilities to himself without being recognized and compensated for them. If you are going to lecture people - at least have the decency not to make sh--t up.

That there are people with all different levels of experience does not validate taking wedding coordination lessons from people who don't have any relevant wedding experience. That there are people with less experience does not dictate that anyone need teach them. If every time you speak where people congregate for group think there arises dispute - it might just be dissent that the group disputes.

If Rick gets his article tweaked it will nicely reflect the way he organizes and manages the couples expectations. It will make him an attractive DJ option. It will not elevate his role to the level of wedding coordinator no matter how "magical" the adjectives. Customers are not stupid (at least mine aren't.) If you want to pull the wool over people's eyes - at least check that they can't already see right through it.

This is stupid. Mods, please close this heavily derailed and crashed thread.

Everyone, carry on doing what you do. For those of you that are making a living doing it, don't change a dang thing - because it's obviously working for you.

Ah... so you're the thread coordinator too? LOL.

 

[DJCC]

This is stupid. Mods, please close this heavily derailed and crashed thread.

Everyone, carry on doing what you do. For those of you that are making a living doing it, don't change a dang thing - because it's obviously working for you.

I have not chimed in on this thread, but just because things are not going your way is no reason to ask the Mods to close a thread.

 

[ahoustondj]

I have not chimed in on this thread, but just because things are not going your way is no reason to ask the Mods to close a thread.

Why not? Sooner or later the Sympathy Train has to exit the Station. Lol. BTW its nice to sit outside the Supermarket at midnight watching the Chicas go in and out. Redhead is inside shopping. She is the Grocery Coordinator. I am the Planner.

 

[mikemerlin]

View attachment 26589

You don't do weddings but are the informed one? Everyone here who does weddings says you're wrong but you are the only one informed lol...as to bobs point about it being magical to make sure certain things are in place before proceeding I never said that. It's just common sense to do so. Common sense that you both clearly lack when it comes to weddings.

Or maybe all of us who do weddings are wrong and the guy that doesn't is right LOL

 

[Ron]

Why does this scene come to mind....
[video=youtube_share;xmFXEcI_AA4]http://youtu.be/xmFXEcI_AA4[/video]

 

[ittigger]

I have not chimed in on this thread, but just because things are not going your way is no reason to ask the Mods to close a thread.

This has nothing to do with things going my way or not. This has to do with people behaving like children. Those that don't get their way just put you on ignore so they don't have to listen to you. Imagine the kid in school that has his fingers in his ears because he doesn't want to hear nor consider what you have to say. This is the one that claims to have something to teach.

I haven't even begun to weigh in on things going 'my way'. I'm ok with things not going my way - that presents other avenue's for me to see. I play devils advocate alot because I like to know what those other options are. I am not ok with the logic that any way you all are doing it is wrong except for this way. I think each and every one of you here have good ideas to present .. and collectively, we can help each other - if we get past the childish crap.

Canute didn't say he works with his eyes and ears covered as you suggest (a lie on your part, really.) He said he doesn't appropriate those responsibilities to himself without being recognized and compensated for them. If you are going to lecture people - at least have the decency not to make sh--t up.

I didn't suggest any such thing. He painted himself into that corner .. and I don't lie (shows how much you really know) - and also shows that you make uneducated statements. My point to him, which he chooses to ignore (because he has us all on ignore - keep defending him and fighting his battles tho, I'm sure he's enjoying it), was that he assumes others aren't doing the very same thing. I made nothing up - so bark up someone else's tree.

In short, assumption is the mother of all f ups - and as long as some of you all keep assuming, you will continue to f up.

That there are people with all different levels of experience does not validate taking wedding coordination lessons from people who don't have any relevant wedding experience. That there are people with less experience does not dictate that anyone need teach them.

Sure it does - remember, there's nothing "magical" here - so get off it. Also, having done weddings and doing weddings are completely different. We have several members here that are actively doing weddings - and lots of them. To be ignorant to what these people are doing, seeing and saying is ignorance at its best.

If every time you speak where people congregate for group think there arises dispute - it might just be dissent that the group disputes.

Or it might be that the person who thinks he knows better really is an a$$. If you've been married and divorced 5 times, I'm thinking that the problem isn't who you married.

If Rick gets his article tweaked it will nicely reflect the way he organizes and manages the couples expectations. It will make him an attractive DJ option. It will not elevate his role to the level of wedding coordinator no matter how "magical" the adjectives. Customers are not stupid (at least mine aren't.) If you want to pull the wool over people's eyes - at least check that they can't already see right through it.

I'm not disagreeing that there may be a better way to organize things - maybe his way is the best way. Whatever he is doing is obviously working. I don't think anyone's customers are stupid - to suggest that they are is kind of crazy.

If you and Rick are both car salesman, based on what I see from your posts and what I know of Rick, I am pretty certain that both of you will be successful and I can also guarantee that you both will do it differently. That doesn't make one wrong nor one right. You just have different ways of doing it and being successful - and maybe, you can learn some things from each other.

Ah... so you're the thread coordinator too? LOL.

Sure, if that's the title we're giving away today. I have the power to talk to the Mod's, same as anyone else here (nothing magical there either) - so I guess that makes us all thread coordinators).

 

[steve149]

It is the level of debate that is amateurish. You are trying to equate basic acts of self-reliance with "wedding planning" and "Wedding coordination." That any of you would argue that to verify there is a knife on the cake table is "magic" or some elusive professional skill - is laughable. Doing so is nothing more than common sense. To know that people you are about to invite to dance are actually in the room is not a professional skill - it's basic awareness. This does not rise to the level of "wedding coordinator" or "wedding planner" I'm sorry - but you are all liars by gross exaggeration.

This is the level of debate you are trying to have over this Steve, Mike, et. al. and you look like buffoons to those of us who actually do special events for a living. I don't pretend that tying my shoes before walking is professional skill worthy of the title "magic." Nor do I have clients foolish enough to buy into that kind of puffery. If I'm truly authentic I don't need to appropriate titles or over-stated adjectives for myself.-

Canute doesn't do many if any weddings (at least not now), he has said this .. I have no idea what you do other than what is on your website (which is out of date in a few places by the way, so you may want to do an update) as you have decided not to share. Canute is not full-time either .. he has an art framing and installation business, so at best that's half-time.

What we seem to have here is a failure to communicate or more accurately, a failure to actually read and comprehend.

There is no objective .. no magic .. no "elusive" skills .. we're talking about a DJ managing the flow of an event, and a few of you keep chiming in with the "if it ain't in the contract, it ain't my job" and the "professionals do it better" puffery that doesn't really answer or advance anything.

No one has said they wanted to do all the things that have been mentioned. And yes, I would believe that everyone agrees it should be hammered out ahead of time. But sometimes it doesn't actually go the way it was planned. This does not rise to the level of a DJ trying to take over a wedding as you seem to have grasped on to .. it's merely doing what needs to be done so things can come to a decent close. I don't see how it's professional to just stand there when things go wrong .. nor do I see how it would be to stand there and keep making announcements until something happens.

 

[Ausumm]

You do seem to talk down to people on occasions, although it is subtle sometimes. Even when it's subtle, people know when you are belittling them. Basically, as I've said before, it's not what you are saying, it's how you are saying it. Remember, in a post,no one can hear the inflection in your voice, or the look in your eyes, so the words matter. .

how come it never ascended to this level of stupidity being expressed by some?

You just proved his point, Canute.
People that don't agree with you are STUPID!