How strict are you???

[SoftJock Rick]

Therein lies the problem - since your relative has obviously incurred a "debt" your service was in fact anything but. "free." Sooner or later one of you is going tofeel short changed.

Go with Val's advice - do it for free and then be done with it.

I guess it might be hard for some to understand -- but that's pretty much the way things work in an Italian family (and circle of friends). I don't think it's as much of a debt, as it is a courtesy you are extending to someone you care about. It's not required that they pay you back in some way -- it's a voluntary thing.

I think here's a good example:

Grandma and my Aunt lived on the farm -- I went there for every holiday; ate lunch there almost everyday most of my life. So I was living down here in FL, and the family was throwing a surprise party for my Aunt's 70th birthday. I hopped on a plane, since my gear was still in NY, and decided to do the gig -- nobody asked me to, I just wanted to.

 

[Jon Tuck]

tho nothing to do with Italian heritage or any bloodline to such our family was pretty much the same over the years.

 

[DJ Piddipat]

… the family was throwing a surprise party for my Aunt's 70th birthday. I hopped on a plane, since my gear was still in NY, and decided to do the gig -- nobody asked me to, I just wanted to.

wow, wouldn't it have been weird if the family had hired a DJ in order to "save you the trouble"? that would have been really awkward. i know what you mean, though. i'm down to one sister, but if i still had 'family,' i'd definitely DJ for them free of charge. we were brought up that way—family is everything.

 

[Scott Hanna]

For immediate family, I do discount it as long as they are open to picking a day that we have plenty of availability.

 

[SoftJock Rick]

wow, wouldn't it have been weird if the family had hired a DJ in order to "save you the trouble"? that would have been really awkward. i know what you mean, though. i'm down to one sister, but if i still had 'family,' i'd definitely DJ for them free of charge. we were brought up that way—family is everything.

Actually, they wanted to -- but I figured I was coming up for the party anyway, and it wasn't like I had to be on my best behavior -- think I had more fun DJ'ing, then I would of had as a guest...

The tricky part, was that my gear was on the farm, and it was a surprise party. So they had to take my aunt out for dinner, while me and my brother snuck in and got the gear. Then I had to keep it in the hotel room all night, until the party the next day. We did the party at this huge officers club on the local airbase, and we got rooms in the military hotel right next door, for like $10 each

 

[Jon Tuck]

Rick awesome!!!

 

[Proformance]

I guess it might be hard for some to understand -- but that's pretty much the way things work in an Italian family (and circle of friends). I don't think it's as much of a debt, as it is a courtesy you are extending to someone you care about. It's not required that they pay you back in some way -- it's a voluntary thing.

I think here's a good example:

Grandma and my Aunt lived on the farm -- I went there for every holiday; ate lunch there almost everyday most of my life. So I was living down here in FL, and the family was throwing a surprise party for my Aunt's 70th birthday. I hopped on a plane, since my gear was still in NY, and decided to do the gig -- nobody asked me to, I just wanted to.

That's not the point. You specifically said: "I expect the same." So the real question is.. if you find yourself in need and no one in the family steps up to help you - are you going to be bitter?

 

[SoftJock Rick]

That's not the point. You specifically said: "I expect the same." So the real question is.. if you find yourself in need and no one in the family steps up to help you - are you going to be bitter?

I think I explained it in the last two posts Bob -- perhaps you should read them...