Howdy,
As I was uploading pictures of my Jambulance and inserting witty text, my wife Janice let out a loud scream. It was the type of scream that "I'm scared and WTF!!!" I was upstairs in the computer room and she was downstairs. I immediately did what any husband would do, I yelled downstairs, "Are you alright?" No immediate answer. I ran downstairs...
Bubba was staring intently at the door while my wife said haltingly, "There's a skunk in the basement!" I replied like any good husband would, testing her to see if she was fooling, "Yeah, right". I turned to walk away and Bubba was still at the door and the two bengal cats we have were now joining him.
"What if there IS a skunk" I thought to myself.
Well, if there is, then it's not going to like Bubba and two cats fishing around under the door. I cleared the area.
My wife got on the phone with a friend, the conversation went something like this: "Hi, do you have a trap for a skunk? Uh-huh, a skunk in our basement, I just opened the door and there it was!"
Now, I'm no expert, but you only get one chance of getting it right, and if you don't then you're not going to be in the house for a month. She said to her friend, "Great, can you bring it right over? We'll put some tuna in it, and when we trap it, we'll just take it out of the basement."
Now, I'm thinking it's going to be like carrying a bomb, one wrong move and POW...you're out of the house for a month. I said something like this to her, "What are you CRAZY? What if the thing goes off and sprays me and the house?"
I ran back upstairs and did the only thing any sane man would do, I called an expert, Dave Sparks. You see, Dave understands skunks. He's taken over 100 of them out of houses and he's only been sprayed 7 times. That's a pretty good average when playing with Mother Nature's C-4.
He came right over and pulled into the driveway. I was never so happy to see someone:
Dave got out of the truck and explained what he was going to do. "I'll go down into the cellar, find the skunk and sedate him." WHAT?! How?!
He went into the cellar and I followed his light as it faded into the darkness. Nothing...but I was waiting for him to mutter "Sh*t"....out of the house for 30 days. But that didn't happen.
Dave came up and asked for a trash barrel so the skunk would have a place to run and hide and THEN he could administer the anesthesia. Back down he went. I could see the flashlight fade into the darkness again, but this time, he laid it down. WTF? No noise, no falling objects, no man running toward the door. Only eerie silence. Then the light was picked up and started coming towards me....RUN....no wait.
Dave climbed out of the cellar and in his hand was this:
The skunk was still twitching as the meds took control. Dave explained how he did it...but by this time I didn't care...I wanted to KISS HIM!!!!
He took the skunk to his truck, dumped it into a bucket, swore it was still alive (I didn't care) and I asked him, "How much?" "85 dollars" he said.
I gratefully wrote the check. I didn't ask for a discount, I didn't try to. I hired a pro and he did his job. I was BEYOND RELIEVED!
Now I'm on my 5th beer.
Hope you enjoyed my little story!!
Your friend,
Dave
As I was uploading pictures of my Jambulance and inserting witty text, my wife Janice let out a loud scream. It was the type of scream that "I'm scared and WTF!!!" I was upstairs in the computer room and she was downstairs. I immediately did what any husband would do, I yelled downstairs, "Are you alright?" No immediate answer. I ran downstairs...
Bubba was staring intently at the door while my wife said haltingly, "There's a skunk in the basement!" I replied like any good husband would, testing her to see if she was fooling, "Yeah, right". I turned to walk away and Bubba was still at the door and the two bengal cats we have were now joining him.
"What if there IS a skunk" I thought to myself.
Well, if there is, then it's not going to like Bubba and two cats fishing around under the door. I cleared the area.
My wife got on the phone with a friend, the conversation went something like this: "Hi, do you have a trap for a skunk? Uh-huh, a skunk in our basement, I just opened the door and there it was!"
Now, I'm no expert, but you only get one chance of getting it right, and if you don't then you're not going to be in the house for a month. She said to her friend, "Great, can you bring it right over? We'll put some tuna in it, and when we trap it, we'll just take it out of the basement."
Now, I'm thinking it's going to be like carrying a bomb, one wrong move and POW...you're out of the house for a month. I said something like this to her, "What are you CRAZY? What if the thing goes off and sprays me and the house?"
I ran back upstairs and did the only thing any sane man would do, I called an expert, Dave Sparks. You see, Dave understands skunks. He's taken over 100 of them out of houses and he's only been sprayed 7 times. That's a pretty good average when playing with Mother Nature's C-4.
He came right over and pulled into the driveway. I was never so happy to see someone:
Dave got out of the truck and explained what he was going to do. "I'll go down into the cellar, find the skunk and sedate him." WHAT?! How?!
He went into the cellar and I followed his light as it faded into the darkness. Nothing...but I was waiting for him to mutter "Sh*t"....out of the house for 30 days. But that didn't happen.
Dave came up and asked for a trash barrel so the skunk would have a place to run and hide and THEN he could administer the anesthesia. Back down he went. I could see the flashlight fade into the darkness again, but this time, he laid it down. WTF? No noise, no falling objects, no man running toward the door. Only eerie silence. Then the light was picked up and started coming towards me....RUN....no wait.
Dave climbed out of the cellar and in his hand was this:
The skunk was still twitching as the meds took control. Dave explained how he did it...but by this time I didn't care...I wanted to KISS HIM!!!!
He took the skunk to his truck, dumped it into a bucket, swore it was still alive (I didn't care) and I asked him, "How much?" "85 dollars" he said.
I gratefully wrote the check. I didn't ask for a discount, I didn't try to. I hired a pro and he did his job. I was BEYOND RELIEVED!
Now I'm on my 5th beer.
Hope you enjoyed my little story!!
Your friend,
Dave
