Weddings How many toasts is too many?

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B

Bill Kexel

Well-Known DJ
Dec 5, 2006
2,097
59
65
Phoenix, AZ
I recently performed at a very upscale wedding for a couple where the bride's side of the family was Russian.

They had a total of 21 toasts. They went on all throughout the evening. Unfortunately, it killed a lot of the flow of the dancing, because we had to keep breaking for toasts.

Many of the "toasters" didn't just toast, they gave long winded stories from long ago. I think after the 9th or 10th toast, 80% of the guests weren't paying attention.

But that's what they wanted. The customer's wishes came true.
 
Bill when did you find out about the number of toasts? I know prior to the gig so I can in fact discuss sheduling them at the optimal times to reduce extended down time. Much like at Company Corporate events where they think they need to spread out prize giveaways. Its usually undertood if presented properly or they simply dont care and then atleast I know I made all efforts to avoid the trudging through muddy speeches.
 
Jon Tuck said:
Bill when did you find out about the number of toasts? I know prior to the gig so I can in fact discuss sheduling them at the optimal times to reduce extended down time. Much like at Company Corporate events where they think they need to spread out prize giveaways. Its usually undertood if presented properly or they simply dont care and then atleast I know I made all efforts to avoid the trudging through muddy speeches.
Click to expand...


They wanted "open mic" for toasts about every 45 min. (the next 15 min tended to be toasts) The toasters would pull out sheets of notes & ramble on & on.

Plus, this was a "New York" style reception. A nightmare for wedding vendors in Phoenix. I would rather do a bubble party before I would do another one of these.

But it was an interesting experience.
 
When the bread turns black!

Thank you, thank you...I'll be here all night.
 
I have not been in this situation before but I have had clients that wanted to go down that dark and scary path. I asked them what I should do if the toaster goes long. The common agreement was to limit the toast to five minutes. Fortunately in all cases only the BM and MH wanted to do toasts.
 
It's hard to stop a crowd from doing this. If the B&G want an open mic...they get an open mic. I let the B&G determine when/if they want the toasts to stop. But being that it was a back east type reception...it is what it is.
 
Bill Kexel said:
I recently performed at a very upscale wedding for a couple where the bride's side of the family was Russian.

They had a total of 21 toasts. They went on all throughout the evening. Unfortunately, it killed a lot of the flow of the dancing, because we had to keep breaking for toasts.

Many of the "toasters" didn't just toast, they gave long winded stories from long ago. I think after the 9th or 10th toast, 80% of the guests weren't paying attention.

But that's what they wanted. The customer's wishes came true.
Click to expand...

Bill,

Ouch! Is that what "they" (the customer) wanted initially, or is it just what they kind of went along with throughout the night so as not to offend their guests:)

I always do my best to make sure there is a designated time for toasts early on before dancing starts, and if the couple does indeed want the "open mic," I just solicit it then and make it known that this is their chance to say something to the new couple.

Doesn't really matter how long toasts are or how long the block is as long as there's a place FOR it to happen. After that we've moved on and there is not going back!:sqbiggrin:

There might have been some traditions/customs that led to this we have to admit, but at the same time, the tendency for this probably should have been brought up or discovered during the planning process, and the customer educated ahead of time as to the possible detrimental effect of this tradition on the flow and therefore success of their reception. "We're not in the old country anymore Toto!"

If they, and you, were aware of this tendency ahead of time and it is something they explicitly agreed to, wanted, or let happen, then it's nobody's fault but their own with regards to any repercussions. Whenever this kind of thing "just kind of happens" at the event, I find myself wondering if I could have better anticipated and planned for it or dealt with it differently on the spot to keep it on-track. Sometimes you can prevent it, others, maybe not!
 
for the sake of the bride and groom...
I dont think you can just pick a number of HOW MANY.
just need to educate the b/g in advance about the dangers of
too many
too long
and stretching them out thru the nite.

if they think it'll still be gonna be a problem
let the bride and/or the groom get on the mic
and announce that anyone wishing to do a toast
must do it NOW!
then let it go on as long as it needs to.
(better ONE long break, than 21 interruptions every 15 minutes)
and of course, do this at an appropriate time of the nite.
 
Ausumm said:
for the sake of the bride and groom...
I dont think you can just pick a number of HOW MANY.
just need to educate the b/g in advance about the dangers of
too many
too long
and stretching them out thru the nite.

if they think it'll still be gonna be a problem
let the bride and/or the groom get on the mic
and announce that anyone wishing to do a toast
must do it NOW!
then let it go on as long as it needs to.
(better ONE long break, than 21 interruptions every 15 minutes)
and of course, do this at an appropriate time of the nite.
Click to expand...

Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!
 
gee Thom I sad much the same in not so many words as I try to cut my speeches short but sweet atleast in this case. LOL!!
 
ignorance alert

Bill Kexel said:
They wanted "open mic" for toasts about every 45 min. (the next 15 min tended to be toasts) The toasters would pull out sheets of notes & ramble on & on.

Plus, this was a "New York" style reception. A nightmare for wedding vendors in Phoenix. I would rather do a bubble party before I would do another one of these.

But it was an interesting experience.
Click to expand...


What is a "New York" style reception. I know New York cheese cake, New York steak but reception? 'Splain to an ex Nu Yawkah (please).
 
Ruben Mora said:
I don't care if they toast all night I still get paid if I play 5 songs or 45 songs.
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And that's the gospel truth. Let 'em pass the mic around all night long if they wish. We're on the clock. :)

If there's one thing that irritates me to no end it's people who, when they have an audience, talk and talk while saying nothing.

Did a wedding a couple years back where the "toast" ended up being over an hour long. The best man did his thing (very nice speech, by the way) then passed the mic to the head table where everyone seated just had to stand and say something. Even when they didn't have anything to say. Several were coworkers of the bride who talked about stuff that happened at work.

The guests were bored shirtless but what do ya do? :dontknow:
 
well for toasts it can be one (toast to bride and groom)
to many toasts or whatever you want to make....

see what I have created years ago

this was more for the MC to use so he/she knew who was doing what

see attached...

also what is published on a few sites of Mine

1. http://www.foreverwed.com/entertainment/mc.htm

2. http://www.keysdan.com/master_of_ceremonies_&_toasts.html

3. there is one still on prodj.com in the planing section (they moved it around lol) so you will have to look sorry

plus other stuff I have out there published on sites
 

Attachments

  • full-speechlist(Orig).pdf
    106 KB · Views: 1
  • Speech Format Sheet.pdf
    122.1 KB · Views: 0
  • Short-Speech Format Sheet.pdf
    43 KB · Views: 0
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