Wedding Schpiel.....What's Yours?

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Chuck The DJ

Chuck The DJ

I know people.
Sep 28, 2006
8,674
3,583
Sebastopol, California
www.chuckthedj.com
When I am doing a garter toss I say something like this after I have all da men down on the floor,,,

"Ok Brian (groom) now befoe you get started, there are a few rules that go along with what you are about to do..... Rule number 1, is that a woman likes to have her man on his knees, so you need to get on your knees in front of your WIFE.. (I emphasize WIFE for dramatic effect) am I right ladies? (I ask and gets lots of hollars from da babes! LOL)....... Rule 2, and this actually comes from one of your groomsmen, and I won't say who, but he has a big smile on his face (I'm lieing at this point, but it makes it sound more personal I think)... he says that you get extra points for doing this, with NO hands! I don't care what you use, but no hands! (more hoots and hollars).... (and as the noise dies down, I talk softly)......and the third thing I want you to think about, (talking softly) is to keep in your mind, just pretend, that you are all alone, it's just you and Betty, and you know what (pause) you are married now so you can do anything you want, it's legal! Go for it!....

Then I play Leggs, or The Stripper or whatever song they have picked out...

Now, I don't do this all the time, but 80% of the time I do and it seems fun.

I know some will be offened by it. But that's just me......

So what schpiels do you use that are fun?
 
Chuck The DJ said:
When I am doing a garter toss I say something like this after I have all da men down on the floor,,,

"Ok Brian (groom) now befoe you get started, there are a few rules that go along with what you are about to do..... Rule number 1, is that a woman likes to have her man on his knees, so you need to get on your knees in front of your WIFE.. (I emphasize WIFE for dramatic effect) am I right ladies? (I ask and gets lots of hollars from da babes! LOL)....... Rule 2, and this actually comes from one of your groomsmen, and I won't say who, but he has a big smile on his face (I'm lieing at this point, but it makes it sound more personal I think)... he says that you get extra points for doing this, with NO hands! I don't care what you use, but no hands! (more hoots and hollars).... (and as the noise dies down, I talk softly)......and the third thing I want you to think about, (talking softly) is to keep in your mind, just pretend, that you are all alone, it's just you and Betty, and you know what (pause) you are married now so you can do anything you want, it's legal! Go for it!....

Then I play Leggs, or The Stripper or whatever song they have picked out...

Now, I don't do this all the time, but 80% of the time I do and it seems fun.

I know some will be offened by it. But that's just me......

So what schpiels do you use that are fun?
Click to expand...

I just might steal yours.... I'm still developing my schtick...:sqbiggrin:
 
Might be good, but I've noticed that the whole garter / bouquet thing is quickly dying in my area. ( Not just when I have DJ'd, but even when I am just a guest )..... I would say 25% or so no longer do it at all...

I have no specific thing to say. I just kind of go with the flow of the party.
 
This is a routine I learned from John Mixon:

When the groom is kneeling to remove the garter, use the mic to say "(groom's name), I want you to remember this position. It's a position you will be spending a lot of your married life in. 'I'm sorry, Baby. I didn't mean to do that. What did I do wrong again?'"

Then there's the old standby: "What's a matter, (groom's name)? Can't you find it?"

Or "Hey! Get your hand outta there."

:D
 
I agree Papa, there are fewer here as well,,,, but I have a hard time believing that you change your speell (LOL) everytime you do do one....

You must have an idea or an outline that you catch yourself saying....

I remember back in the day, when I saw Van Halen on their "Diver Down" tour,,,, and at one point David acts like some guy is giving him crap from the from row and he says.... "Yeah, well I'm gonna fu%# your girlfriend tonight!" I thought it was the funniest thing I heard and how cool it was that he smacked that guy down, only to hear that he said that most every show!

LOL Even David has a schiepelllll...
 
Papa Deuce said:
Might be good, but I've noticed that the whole garter / bouquet thing is quickly dying in my area. ( Not just when I have DJ'd, but even when I am just a guest )..... I would say 25% or so no longer do it at all...

We're seeing a drop off also, maybe not to the same numbers you're experiencing.

I have no specific thing to say. I just kind of go with the flow of the party.

That's what I was trying to say!
Click to expand...

Thank, Mr. Papa/Chuck:sqwink:
 
Fred... if it gets really good and he is having fun and taking his time, I will say.... Ummmm,, he's not really looking for the garter is he?"....

Or sometimes I'll say if it gets wild..... "goodnight ladies and gents,, we're done here!".... LOL
 
Well, I don't do many weddings, so I never have really developed a pattern. Personally, I wish they would go the way of the dinosaur. I hate doing them. ( garter and bouquet, I mean, not weddings )
 
Weddings are a pain in a lot of ways, but they are most DJs bread and butter.... I wish I could have all my weddings be like last night, that would be cool!
 
Chuck The DJ said:
Weddings are a pain in a lot of ways, but they are most DJs bread and butter.... I wish I could have all my weddings be like last night, that would be cool!
Click to expand...

Read my edit in the above post, Chuck.
 
Garter Toss

I have the groom put some granny panties up his sleeve. When he has his hand underneath the bride’s dress, he pulls out the granny panties. The crowd goes wild. This works if the bride has a sense of humor. This is not for every couple.

Money Dance

I announce, “If you are short of cash, the bride and groom take Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.”
 
I have that sample where they had the guys say,,,, "Guys if you wanna dance with the bride, she'll dance with you all night long, but you got to have Visa, because she doesn't take the American Express card, Visa, it's everywhere you wanna be" LOL
 
Papa Deuce said:
Well, I don't do many weddings, so I never have really developed a pattern. Personally, I wish they would go the way of the dinosaur. I hate doing them. ( garter and bouquet, I mean, not weddings )
Click to expand...
Then how can ya justify the L1 purchase? ;)
 
I attended a reception for a friends son ... The DJ announced that since Allen was now married.. everyone who had a key to his apartment should now return them to him...

About a half a dozen girls slowly stood up and walked forward and each one laid a key on the table in front of Allen... as the last girl was walking back to her seat one guy stood up and walked up to the table.. hesitated a moment before he laid down a key and returned to his seat... everyone at the reception cracked up clapping and laughing....
 
Chuck The DJ said:
When I am doing a garter toss I say something like this after I have all da men down on the floor,,,

"Ok Brian (groom) now befoe you get started, there are a few rules that go along with what you are about to do..... Rule number 1, is that a woman likes to have her man on his knees, so you need to get on your knees in front of your WIFE.. (I emphasize WIFE for dramatic effect) am I right ladies? (I ask and gets lots of hollars from da babes! LOL)....... Rule 2, and this actually comes from one of your groomsmen, and I won't say who, but he has a big smile on his face (I'm lieing at this point, but it makes it sound more personal I think)... he says that you get extra points for doing this, with NO hands! I don't care what you use, but no hands! (more hoots and hollars).... (and as the noise dies down, I talk softly)......and the third thing I want you to think about, (talking softly) is to keep in your mind, just pretend, that you are all alone, it's just you and Betty, and you know what (pause) you are married now so you can do anything you want, it's legal! Go for it!....

Then I play Leggs, or The Stripper or whatever song they have picked out...

Now, I don't do this all the time, but 80% of the time I do and it seems fun.

I know some will be offened by it. But that's just me......

So what schpiels do you use that are fun?
Click to expand...

Last night (saturday) when i did the garter.. i said "wow this feels almost criminal" and the guests went nuts...

djthrough426708113.jpg

Like i Said he is just turning 19 and she is 17 and they both said theyve been carded at a rated R movie.
 
Shirl said:
I attended a reception for a friends son ... The DJ announced that since Allen was now married.. everyone who had a key to his apartment should now return them to him...

About a half a dozen girls slowly stood up and walked forward and each one laid a key on the table in front of Allen... as the last girl was walking back to her seat one guy stood up and walked up to the table.. hesitated a moment before he laid down a key and returned to his seat... everyone at the reception cracked up clapping and laughing....
Click to expand...

That was one of my favorite bits...it's even funnier when you have a pregnant woman come up before the guy. I would also include a member of the wait staff or bartender if possible.
 
Howdy,

The panties are cool. You can also use a "No Trespassing" sign. THAT works well.

IF the b&g want the garter toss, I tell everyone:

"Men are not conditioned to catch a piece of cloth traveling through the air. There is NEVER a time in our lives that this happens. So, with that in mind, we're gonna put the garter on a football. I KNOW someone will catch that"

If you want to target one of the men in the group, just say: "Let's test this out, shall we?" Ted, let's try it with you ok? Then, throw it to Ted and say: "That worked. No need to do another. Great Ted!"

Dave
 
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