What are your go-to first 3-5 songs for the dance?

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I think we might be mincing words here a bit

The skill is in taking whatever they throw at us, and making it possible.

flow of the night and any particular things that are of crucial importance

To me that's structure, and yes skill too. They give you ideas and you make it happen.

I didn't break the vibe by dropping in something like Love Shack or Don't stop till you get enough at that point of the night is what I mean.

I see a couple of spots where you could put them in especially mixing somewhat quick but I don't see why you would put them in in that situation

Bottom line is it seems we both give the client what they want in different ways
 
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Where in the process do you allow the opportunity to discuss the atmosphere and structure of the music?
In my phone call to the client when we are discussing all the details and going over the itinerary. But I don't get too specific, because you never know what's going to happen once you get to the event.
 
In my phone call to the client when we are discussing all the details and going over the itinerary. But I don't get too specific, because you never know what's going to happen once you get to the event.

And...I also confirm the client's event intentions during face-to-face meeting. I always seek a "do not play" list from Bride.