The Absent-Minded Groom & Crickets

TJS

GetSomeJuJu
Nov 8, 2018
155
53
Ankeny, IA
www.jujulab.rocks
So I get a groom-to-be call me up on June 23rd and say he was referred by a friend of his that was the photographer for a 10th wedding anniversary I DJ'd at. He mentions he's interested in my availability and hiring me for 5/18/20. Awesome, right? Nice to nail something down for next year. This kid is wrapping up education at Drake University, has his own business with investment real estate etc...Sounds like he has a lot going on. On top of this, he tells me he's the one in charge of taking care of the DJ and venue (which is a winery) etc. We spend about an hour on the phone and I walk him through all of the options. He's excited. Let's me know he'd like to move forward. I have a form on my website that I have folks fill out so I can input those details into the contract. He mentions he'll fill that out and get the first payment to me. Two days later I get the info he filled out on the form. He wanted monogram and live performance options in addition to DJing so I scoot out the contract to him and his fiance. I usually make the contract expire within a week. The expiration would have been July 5th. Kind of tough since admittedly that's around the holidays but I figured it was fine. He was wanting to move forward. After sending out the contract, I hear crickets.......

So around July 7, I reach back out to him via text and then Messenger (where we originally communicated) to ensure he got the contract or to help answer any questions he or his fiance had......More crickets....I did one last effort to reach out about a week after....Still hearing nothing but crickets since the last time I spoke to him on 6/23.. I figure okay, oh well. Ya never know what is going on. They could be discussing a date change, or decided not to move forward...Lots of variables. I move on with life...

July 23rd , I get a message asking if I'm still available for 5/18/20. Then about 20 minutes later, he corrects his message and says "March 18, 2020. My initial thought was that the delay was because they were changing dates. Then I noticed that 3/18 is a Monday. So I write and confirm that this is the date he's now looking at and that he's getting married on a Monday. He replies "It's May 18,2020" .....Hmmmm so this kid has no idea when he's getting married (???). Pretty big difference between a Saturday wedding in May at a winery and a March wedding on a Monday at a winery! He says that they can sign the contract that night. Okay, so I revise the contract and send it and let him know it's emailed....Crickets....It's now more than a week later and I'm still hearing crickets. LOL

What would you do? If he reaches out in a month asking for availability again and starts the bs routine all over, would you just say you're booked? I mean, he's not followed through with one single thing so far and what's worse is that he's not given even a shred of explanation. Most folks would be like, "Oh sorry, we were thinking about changing dates and that's been the hold up" or ...." My fiance was getting her moustache waxed last night and it took forever so we couldn't sign the contract" ...Something!

My thought? Is it gonna be a pain to collect $$ prior to the event? Will follow through be a disaster from here on out from everything regarding music preferences to order of the evening details to simply getting paid and having to say "no pay - no play"? And all of this after it being a referral and him being "sold" on moving forward. Weird.
 

ittigger

Hundred Acre Industry Icon
Feb 1, 2011
13,837
Western Maryland
Considering you said he was texting, May and March could easily be mistaken. I can't explain the non-responsiveness. Maybe ask to meet up with them in person - and nail it down then?
 
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DJ Ricky B

DJ Extraordinaire
Mar 9, 2015
4,054
37
I dislike using Text messages or FB Messager to conduct business. Mis communication is so easy. People are usually pre occupied doing other things or multiple things at once when utilizing these forms of communication. These forms of communication are truly meant to be for extracirricular use, and for low importance level chat to be conducted among friends, and maybe colleagues.

I can see using Text to send pictures quickly for figuring something out, but when it comes to actual serious business, Email is a better pathway, and Talking over the Phone supercedes that. Meeting in person is always going to be best (UNLESS YOU LIKE TO CONDUCT BUSINESS IN YOUR PAJAMAS), then go with a phone call!

Skype Video, or some sort of video call is also great.
 

MIXMASTERMACHOM

DJ Extraordinaire
Oct 16, 2011
1,217
61
I dislike using Text messages or FB Messager to conduct business. Mis communication is so easy. People are usually pre occupied doing other things or multiple things at once when utilizing these forms of communication. These forms of communication are truly meant to be for extracirricular use, and for low importance level chat to be conducted among friends, and maybe colleagues.

I can see using Text to send pictures quickly for figuring something out, but when it comes to actual serious business, Email is a better pathway, and Talking over the Phone supercedes that. Meeting in person is always going to be best (UNLESS YOU LIKE TO CONDUCT BUSINESS IN YOUR PAJAMAS), then go with a phone call!

Skype Video, or some sort of video call is also great.
I personally don't like texting but what I learned is to communicate the way a potential client or client wants to. I prefer a phone call. Some won't call unless it's an extreme emergency!
 

djtaso

DJ Extraordinaire
Apr 4, 2017
5,045
32
NJ
www.djtaso.com
Happens to me once in a while with random couples... most have legitimate reasons, some are just trying to push the can down the road because they’re not ready to commit or have a change of mind but are not ready to say so. If you have a sour feeling about to, tell him another inquiry came in for that date and since the contract expiration has passed, you have to treat this new prospect as if you’re available for their date... unless a contract is signed with a deposit in 24hrs. After that thank them for their time but the date may possibly no longer be available. Then just move on from them
 

djcrazychris

DJ Extraordinaire
Jun 12, 2018
4,334
46
There are certainly people like this out there....they mean well... but they absolutely have no concept of time...or urgency... they are late to everything...chronic procrastinators ...absent minded...and cant seem to see the importance in your time....

Had a situation a few weeks back... the party was being paid for by divorced parents 50/50 split... they both had this syndrome..and continued to pass the blame to one another... i had moved on weeks prior....but hadnt been rebooked...they contacted me 2 days beforehand apologizing and begging me to perform... Every fiber of my being said no... but the date was open and i decided to comply. The dad immediately pay pal'd half the bill....and the mother greeted me at the door with an envelope containing the balance. So it worked out... but not something id recommend.

cc
 

wifedj

DJ Extraordinaire
Mar 20, 2008
2,288
I'd request a face to face or video conf., as has been suggested. It is much more difficult for people, excluding politicians and psychopaths (often redundant I admit), to lie when you are looking at them.

Do you accept credit card payments?

If so, that can ramp up the level of commitment by simply asking for the initial payment before moving forward.

Just continue to be professional and polite...or at least start to be if you have not yet.
 
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Ausumm

Day Late and a Dollar Short
Oct 21, 2008
11,012
55
Bethlehem PA
www.mikefoxx.com
What would you do? If he reaches out in a month asking for availability again and starts the bs routine all over, would you just say you're booked? I mean, he's not followed through with one single thing so far and what's worse is that he's not given even a shred of explanation.
Is it gonna be a pain to collect $$ prior to the event? Will follow through be a disaster from here on out from everything regarding music preferences to order of the evening details to simply getting paid and having to say "no pay - no play"?
Some clients simply don't care as much about hiring wedding vendors as WE do.
Not in a negative way, just in a "lack of enthusiasm" kinda way.
And since the wedding isn't until next year...
I can totally understand why he is not in a hurry to respond.
I am very high strung, and constantly have to remind myself that not every is as focused on the task at hand as I am.

Either that, or he's pissed because he thought his fiance was gonna handle all this sh*t.
 

TJS

GetSomeJuJu
Nov 8, 2018
155
53
Ankeny, IA
www.jujulab.rocks
All great input!

I think the pieces that threw me was that he conveyed messages that he was sold on things, gave indications as to what specific add-ons he wanted, gave me the details in order to fill out a contract, mentioned they would/could sign the contract that night and even went as far to say he'd pay the full amount just to have it taken care of (even though I told him that he certainly could but it wasn't required. Just the first payment of $400)..Then "poof"...he disappeared into fairy dust! ... Oh well. It happens and it'll happen again, I'm sure.

I do agree with trying to do as much through personal interaction (phone or in person) versus text or email ! I've debated about accepting credit card payments but I certainly can see how that could solidify things quicker. I'm just not sure if I want to mess with disputed charges and all that mess we've talked about in other posts etc. Thanks everyone for input!
 

barry stamper 2.0

Active DJ
Jul 29, 2019
27
51
Flatwoods KY
So I get a groom-to-be call me up on June 23rd and say he was referred by a friend of his that was the photographer for a 10th wedding anniversary I DJ'd at. He mentions he's interested in my availability and hiring me for 5/18/20. Awesome, right? Nice to nail something down for next year. This kid is wrapping up education at Drake University, has his own business with investment real estate etc...Sounds like he has a lot going on. On top of this, he tells me he's the one in charge of taking care of the DJ and venue (which is a winery) etc. We spend about an hour on the phone and I walk him through all of the options. He's excited. Let's me know he'd like to move forward. I have a form on my website that I have folks fill out so I can input those details into the contract. He mentions he'll fill that out and get the first payment to me. Two days later I get the info he filled out on the form. He wanted monogram and live performance options in addition to DJing so I scoot out the contract to him and his fiance. I usually make the contract expire within a week. The expiration would have been July 5th. Kind of tough since admittedly that's around the holidays but I figured it was fine. He was wanting to move forward. After sending out the contract, I hear crickets.......

So around July 7, I reach back out to him via text and then Messenger (where we originally communicated) to ensure he got the contract or to help answer any questions he or his fiance had......More crickets....I did one last effort to reach out about a week after....Still hearing nothing but crickets since the last time I spoke to him on 6/23.. I figure okay, oh well. Ya never know what is going on. They could be discussing a date change, or decided not to move forward...Lots of variables. I move on with life...

July 23rd , I get a message asking if I'm still available for 5/18/20. Then about 20 minutes later, he corrects his message and says "March 18, 2020. My initial thought was that the delay was because they were changing dates. Then I noticed that 3/18 is a Monday. So I write and confirm that this is the date he's now looking at and that he's getting married on a Monday. He replies "It's May 18,2020" .....Hmmmm so this kid has no idea when he's getting married (???). Pretty big difference between a Saturday wedding in May at a winery and a March wedding on a Monday at a winery! He says that they can sign the contract that night. Okay, so I revise the contract and send it and let him know it's emailed....Crickets....It's now more than a week later and I'm still hearing crickets. LOL

What would you do? If he reaches out in a month asking for availability again and starts the bs routine all over, would you just say you're booked? I mean, he's not followed through with one single thing so far and what's worse is that he's not given even a shred of explanation. Most folks would be like, "Oh sorry, we were thinking about changing dates and that's been the hold up" or ...." My fiance was getting her moustache waxed last night and it took forever so we couldn't sign the contract" ...Something!

My thought? Is it gonna be a pain to collect $$ prior to the event? Will follow through be a disaster from here on out from everything regarding music preferences to order of the evening details to simply getting paid and having to say "no pay - no play"? And all of this after it being a referral and him being "sold" on moving forward. Weird.
trust your gut this guy is a flake and it's only a peek see into the future with this gig. Pass on it and him and make your life better.
 
Last edited:

MIXMASTERMACHOM

DJ Extraordinaire
Oct 16, 2011
1,217
61
All great input!

I think the pieces that threw me was that he conveyed messages that he was sold on things, gave indications as to what specific add-ons he wanted, gave me the details in order to fill out a contract, mentioned they would/could sign the contract that night and even went as far to say he'd pay the full amount just to have it taken care of (even though I told him that he certainly could but it wasn't required. Just the first payment of $400)..Then "poof"...he disappeared into fairy dust! ... Oh well. It happens and it'll happen again, I'm sure.

I do agree with trying to do as much through personal interaction (phone or in person) versus text or email ! I've debated about accepting credit card payments but I certainly can see how that could solidify things quicker. I'm just not sure if I want to mess with disputed charges and all that mess we've talked about in other posts etc. Thanks everyone for input!
I would never tell anyone they have to pay only a certain amount at this time vs. them willing to pay in full. If that's their decision I can live with that. Some people like to get things out of the way so they have one less thing to worry about.
 
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TJS

GetSomeJuJu
Nov 8, 2018
155
53
Ankeny, IA
www.jujulab.rocks
I would never tell anyone they have to pay only a certain amount at this time vs. them willing to pay in full. If that's their decision I can live with that. Some people like to get things out of the way so they have one less thing to worry about.

Yeah, to clarify I didn't tell him he couldn't pay the full amount. You're right, it would make things easier overall for both of us. I actually said to him, "You certainly can pay the full amount if you'd like. However, I don't require the full amount in order to reserve the date."
 

RobDawg

DJ
Jan 21, 2019
9
40
The guy is still in college and wants to get married next May. To 20-somethings next May might as well be 10 years down the road (and anyone over 30 is very old). There's going to be little sense of urgency coming from them. As long as the date is still available stay in contact with them,
 

MIXMASTERMACHOM

DJ Extraordinaire
Oct 16, 2011
1,217
61
How long do you persue a potential client until you give up? You've had enough and decided to move on?
 

TJS

GetSomeJuJu
Nov 8, 2018
155
53
Ankeny, IA
www.jujulab.rocks
So here is how I've chosen to handle the situation. For starters, there are always variables we don't know about in regards to what the client is dealing with. Life isn't always on anyone's time schedule. For all we know, the customer's parent is in hospice right now and this happened right when they started planning the wedding and it is consuming their mental and emotional energy. When I asked my now-wife to marry me, two months later, I ran into a string of seizures. I wanted to break off the engagement because I didn't want her to commit to the unknown. Turned out it was a bad reaction to anxiety meds I was taking at the time. Punted those and all is well. However, we married a year past what was originally planned. For this situation, I've chosen to just stay open. I won't pursue him but if he continues to reach out, IF the date remains available, I will respond positively. Personally, I think this is representative of what SHOULD motivate us to be in this business...to bless others on THEIR day. (if we can). Sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in the "business" part of things about making money etc. BUT I do believe ultimately if we put people first and are gracious and serving (which is good business), we will ultimately profit.
 

Jeff Romard

Administrator
Staff member
Sep 4, 2006
13,049
49
Sydney, Nova Scotia
I had almost the same situation months back for Sept 21. She contacted me wanted to book sent the contract nothing...2 months later contacts me apologizes and says she will sign and pay the deposit today...Nothing

She calls me in July and says she needs us unfortunately I booked a car show and a wedding that day in between...The funny part is she referred me twice since :dontknow:
 

Ausumm

Day Late and a Dollar Short
Oct 21, 2008
11,012
55
Bethlehem PA
www.mikefoxx.com
BUT I do believe ultimately if we put people first and are gracious and serving (which is good business), we will ultimately profit.
...The funny part is she referred me twice since :dontknow:
Proof that being accommodating, even when it doesn't suit OUR needs...is the way to go!
 

scgstuff

DJ Extraordinaire
I've debated about accepting credit card payments but I certainly can see how that could solidify things quicker. I'm just not sure if I want to mess with disputed charges and all that mess we've talked about in other posts etc. Thanks everyone for input!
I really didn't want to go to cards, but had so many people ask. <sarcasm>And, they would even send extra to help pay the caterer....</sarcasm>

It has made life so much easier. I log into Square, attach the contract that I signed and have a line in the contract that electronic payment of the deposit is considered acceptance of the contract, attach the planning guide (if its a wedding) put in the packages they wanted that will match the list in the contract, add the deposit amount and payment date and final payment date and press send. Most of the deposits are paid that day or the next now. No more waiting to meet with them or waiting for it to come in the mail. And, I use it to record cash and check payments as well, so it is a great tracking tool where I can quickly see how much I have outstanding..... Just a thought.