Quick Mix or Not… A Brides Point Of View

Quick mixing seems to be divisive for some reason, and perhaps it has to do with your age or who you’re trying to market to.

This week I came across a post on a fb group where the bride reviewed all her vendors for other brides. It caught my eye when the DJ received a 3.5/5 and specifically for one reason only. His lack of quick mixing.

She then clarified on a comment that she’s never been to a wedding where the dj did NOT cut the song shorter. In her view, people got bored, and killed the momentum.

Anyways, figured I’d share an actual brides perspective instead of another djs.

Proformance said:

This is not a DJ problem per se, it's an issue with the newer generation. They have a seriously short attention span and lack of sincere depth. This is not limited to the music consumer - it also describes 90% of the artists and music being produced.

We are living in the most disposable society in modern history.

At every wedding there is also a contingent of parents and relatvies whose presnt values and interests are different. Perhaps the DJ simply didn't have the skills to fast-mix, but we can also wonder if the more responsive and active portion of the crowd actually turned out to be the older relatives.

I've had my share of events where the so called "young dance crowd" failed to materialize - spending all of their time on selfies, photo-booths, DRINKING, or hanging out on exterior patios and other venue areas while the older relatives continuously fueled the dancfloor and requests.

This is the real hazard of online reviews - there's no way to tell what really happened at this wedding. We simply know that in hindsight whatever the bride thought would materialize on the dancefloor did not occurr. Quite literally - she could be dissing the dance floor and the DJ may have been working different reality than what she claims.

Persoanlly, I'm happy to do less and less DJing. Most of my weddings are production gigs - lighting, electrics, rigging and aesthetics, et. al. I had a wedding this past summer where the planner called me back later in the evening because everyone was dancing and she though the lights should be dimmed.

I went back to check it out - and told her: "No, this is perfect." She beleived that because the band was in full swing and they were now in the dancing portion that the lights should be dimmer. I told her: "it's better just as it is. I know it may seem counter-intuitive but take a walk away from the tent. It is the only thing lit up for a half-mile in ANY direction. You can leave the tent - but when you look back it looks like it's on fire - and it's the only place you really want to be. It's a big part of why the dancefloor is still packed and no one has left the wedding."

Before we could talk further the MOB came over to join us (the planner, venue manager, and me) and started raving about how much she loved the lighting. I'd much rather have these experiences than those that make up the modern DJ experience. Fast mixing may be the modern prescription for today's wedding generation - but it's just no that fun anymore. I used to do it because my gigs had tight schedules with short rotations and it was the best way to get the dancefloor pumped and music requests fully covered in what might only be a 30 minute set before the next formality, presentation, or change. What I'm doing now was a good progression to make as I got older.

I've got nothing against quick mixing, but online reviews like this are not a part of my busines. I'm 100% referral and repeat customers or clients. I'm already getting client approval well before the first guest even arrives, so this kind of post event dig just isn't a factor.

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If you read the 2nd part, she states how several of her friends commented on it as well, so I’m assuming those guests are in similar age… not older.

With that being said, I’m seeing more and more weddings completely disregarding the older generation, specifically in The NJ/Philly/NY area. For the rest of the country this is NOT the case, and the parents are heavily relied on for financial and personal insight. They also marry younger on other parts whereas here, they’re on avg in their 30’s and are more independent when it comes to decisions.

Around here couples are more or less eliminating most traditional elements and creating an atmosphere to please their friends. Including yes… making it as dark as possible or as “hype” or “club”vibe focused for the dancing portion. You may have convinced her to keep it more lit… but her friends may be thinking it’s too bright if they’re used to more nightlife vibes.

Anyways this was mostly to share a typical brides view on how music should be presented… and how she, in her view had never attended a wedding where the dj played out a song… as well as how to her and her friends it killed the energy.

tunes4046 said:

Typical to your type of clientele. We have typically have 4 hours of dancing and 90% of my clients want the music to get newer as the night progresses the first two hours are more catered to parent and grandparents ages last two hours transition to club style top hits with quick mixing and super high energy, the lighting also changes as the evening progresses to match the energy

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This Is NOT my client. This is a bride who on a bride's facebook group, that posted a review of her wedding day. This is actually very common of bride facebook groups where after the wedding is done, they go and talk about all their vendors. Most received glowing reviews... the only one that stood out was the DJ... and for no reason other than his mixing style. Everything other attribute of his received positive feedback. I have no association with this bride or her network other than being somewhat in my region. I just found it interesting that she essentially gave the dj a "C" grade solely because of his mixing. I then found it more interesting that in her personal experiences, she's ONLY seen dj's quickmix, and to take it one step further that she had people telling her that the dj's dragging out the songs.

As far as length of day. NJ/NY/Philly typically do 4hr receptions, with a total dance time of 2hrs to 2hrs and 45 min worth of dancing (the variable being length of speeches, if salads are preplated or served, and if there is a pasta course or not). So we're working with less time and therefore much more targeted with our song selection as well as the atmosphere we're creating. Even if they add an extra hour, which is not unusual, many couples want their wedding to be targeted, not generic. They don't want their wedding to "feel like a typical wedding". Which if I could sum up 2025, going into 2026, the biggest trend will be the desire for personalized Wedding experiences that revolve around what the couple's wants their guests to experience.

Proformance said:

Her friends didn't write the post, she did. She doesn't tell us what time she and here friends finally decided to pay attention to the DJ and evaluate his effort. Perhaps that was 11:45pm?

She clearly states he was very communcative and played all the songs on her list. She also makes no mention of ever approaching the DJ to ask for something different. If I order beef and the waiter brings chicken - I call it to his attention while I'm still hungry.

NY/NJ aren't so differeent than the rest of the country. There's Plenty of that in Boston, Savannah, Orlando, Houston, Baltimore, or any major metropolitan area. Marriage is in braod decline and the age at which people wed is now much later everywhere. Money alone will not determine the wedding. I've seen nice but reasonable weddings for the daughters of major banking CEO's kids with their own good incomes, and it's really a personal thing as to what people choose to do.

You can't predict price merely on location. My daughter's reception 3 years ago had a venue invoice of about $29K, my other daughters reception next year is guaranteed minimum $68k, The two venues are both very nice and only 7 miles apart. I've worked both, and the latter is not really so much better than the first - they simply set a bar and reject anyone who won't buy the full boat. My daughter used to work there, so that's whe she really isn't interested in anything else.

When it comes to weddings, communication matters, and a lot of brides fail to keep communicating with their vendors during the actual event. Simply sending someone over to the booth to say: "the bride woul like you to change tunes more quickly rather than playing the full song" may have been all that was needed. To be fair, the DJ also could have approached the couple at any time to inquire about the event's music flow. All the paperwork, emails, and meetings are only as good as the ambassador who shows up to do the job.

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Does it really matter when or if she approached him. He clearly was not a quick mixing type of dj... if he was, it would've never been an issue and he likely would've scored higher. In the end this is her perception of the DJ, what she publicly shared, and what she felt her friends left perceiving of the entertainment she hired. I also don't think this bride mentioned anything during her calls, because she's never ever experienced a wedding dj lay songs out... so why would she think this one would. Perhaps she could... and maybe she did. You're getting into the nuances... but most brides reading that post will simply look at it and be like "I don't want that DJ". In that same post, all her other vendors received 4's and up, with the majority receiving 5/5 reviews.

The only 2 things I pointed out about location specifically is

1 - what tune's said about time... here we have 4hr receptions, with 2-2.5hrs of dancing on avg... elsewhere when I travel, I seem to do 5-7hrs of recepption time with 4hrs of dancing.

2 - our area seems to have a higher age at which we get married. most are around 30, meaning they're financially more capable and don't need parents to be financially as involved... and even if parents were financially involved, the couple is more independent and don't welcome outside influence.

I never brought up price, venues, or things of that nature.

tunes4046 said:

You’re right, you’re the expert. Nobody else should have a different experience or opinion than you have

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I'm sharing someone else's opinion. Not my own. The whole purpose was to show a brides perspective with her own words. Some will look at it and view it as confirmation of what the modern bride envisions from their wedding dj. Some will view it as a bride that doesn't know better.

My comment on 2026 about brides desiring the ability to create very personalized experiences... you don't have to listen to me. Just go on tik tok... just look at what brides are saying.

What's fascinating about 2025/2026 is we're able to literally see and hear what brides want...it's no longer an assumption or one "industry experts" opinion. Couples, brides in particulare are straight up telling the world what they want and expect from the industry and what they are willing to invest in. They're sharing they're entire experiences, the good, the bad, the controversial. For example, they're literally saying that they won't speak to a vendor that doesn't at the very least have starting prices posted. I've never seen so many DJs and photo/videographers in my area all of a sudden start adding pricing to their site in the last 12 months. Something else modern couples are saying is that They won't book a vendor, referral or not, if their instagram aesthetic does not match their aesthetic. Brides are literally saying "dj's stop playing line dances... they're "cringe"".

Like I said, don't listen to me as to what's right or wrong. Just watch what couples are saying... literally.

Proformance said:

Yes, but what you showed me was a bride who failed to fully communicate her expectations to the DJ. It's clear that the DJ did fulfill all of the wishes that had been previously communicated. This issue of 'fast mixing' has arisen in hindsight.

The DJ also shares responsibility and probably isn't experienced enough to ask the right questions or fully lead a bride through the process of discovery. With 41 years in event planning I don't do a lot of explaining. I ask questions, I inquire about all the relevant things a customer has NOT mentioned.


Both things can be true at the same time.

This is not as simple as "the modern bride." This is one style and market vertical that you personally have chosen as your preferred customer. It's a trend within that particular vertical, you have addressed it well and are succeeding. There still remains other verticals to be served and those vendors have equal opportunity to be successful in the style they do best.

Clear communication from both sides is the only thing that prevents negative feedback. The bride's post is discordant because the DJ clearly did everything she asked. There was simply no discussion about song length or mix style - nobody asked. The DJ didnlt ask, the bride didn't ask in advance, and neither did any of her friends or bridal party during teh event. The whole issue resembles two trains passing in the night.

If the DJ were to simply adopt fast mixing by default -as you suggest then his next negative review will be about him cutting all of the songs short. The mix style is irrelevant until we ask, Addressing these issues in converstaion is what matters more.

I can't imagine any DJ who goes to a meeting and tells the client: "I have only limited experience in this field." Yet, that's probably more often true than not. The ability to anticipate and ask the right questions is rooted in past experience. Both sides can make the mistake of assuming the world aligns with either their personal experience or what the internet displays for them.

That's the thing that has always stood out to me - the difference between customers who arrive fully informed and cover evey base like an expert - versus those who need to be led through a process of discovering who they are and what they truly value,

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I'm not choosing them. But they are coming to me. All I'm simply saying is this mattered to her enough that she docked 30% off his score simply for this. I also perceive that based on the nearly 250 inquiries I received in 2025 as a single op, that this style is appreciated by the masses, not by the minority. You keep saying she should've said something... but by the time the bride and her friends are catching at the consistancy at which the songs are being played out, it's kind of a lost cause.

And let's be realistic, this skill is either an established skill set and a characteristic of the dj, or it's not. I don't suppose a non quick mixing dj goes into a meeting asking if this is what the bride wants... nor does one who naturally mixes in and out quicker ask a couple if they want to play the whole song out. So yes it would more than likely be on the couple to request this if it matters... but as she said... she's never seen anyone not do this... so why ask? For example, I haven't seen a car come without power windows in 20+yrs... I don't suppose I'll go to a dealer and ask if it comes with them or not.

MIXMASTERMACHOM said:

I have a few questions. First did that bride ask the DJ if they did quick mixing or just assumed the DJ would do quick mixing for her wedding? My partner is great at quick mixing and I'm not. My brain can't think that fast to find the next song to play within 90 seconds.

Taso let me ask you a few questions and this is not a personal attack. From the time you first started how long did it take for you to master the art of quick mixing? Who taught you how to quick mix?

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Mix, this is not my bride. This is a bride who reviewed another dj and what she put out for the world to see. Take everything you see at face value bc there doesn't appear to be any additional context other than what is written

Master it? Idk...
Who Taught Me? No One.

I started DJin'g back in the days of CD's and where house music was more prominent, specifically 5-7min long tracks, which I would play out. However, around 2017 or so, I noticed a change in behavior. People were getting bored faster, people were only reacting with energy to the best parts of the song... especially kids at Sweet 16's. I assume this was mostly because of spotify with the skip feature being the game changer for when a song got boring to them. Therefore I adjusted with them and gave them what they wanted. Emphasis only on the best parts, less of the fluff, more momentum, more energy building, less slow downs or oppurtunities for people to leave the dance floor. It worked. Now those 16-18yr olds in 2017 are getting married and they're personalities are influencing the dance floor and the mixing style.

It has brought me to 16 states throughout the country bc "no one does what I do" around there... which isn't true, they just likely haven't seen it. Which is the complete opposite of this brides experience, where she only knows of dj's who mix in and out.

Just wait till todays 16 yr olds are getting married.

Proformance said:

You're painting yourself quite accurately as a fisherman.

Your website and marketing is literally trolling for this kind of customer. Your ideal setup is nearly identical each time. That's niche' marketing - not a new world order. I've been there - that's been part of the Bar Mitzvah market for decades. None of this is truly new to the event market. It's where a certain segment and age group of the population sits with respect to these events, but it's not the rule.

It really is a DJs job to ask these questions, even if it's as simplw as asking if they've been to many wedings and what kind of styles did they like or dislike. When we fail to do that - and simply follow a set of planner forms - we get reviews like this one.

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I'm fishing for people that want a high quality experience and appreciation for a high energy atmosphere, along with someone who values the details of your event. As far as setup goes... we work in traditional venues, where most dj's including the most expensive ones are pretty much working within the same confines in terms of space, power, and logistical aspects. It's very rare to see something out of the ordinary... especially since the high end venues have very capable and high quality built in lighting systems, with dozens of moving heads and architectural lights + on site light techs... so for the couples that have money, they opt to use that option. In those venues, simply a DJ and his dj booth is all that's needed.

In all honesty, I'm not sure what nearly identical means. I probably offer more solutions and customization options in NJ for couples with nearly 20 line item options + 3, soon to be 4, customizable dj booth setups. So technically the possibilities and combinations are very large... especially since all my pricing is a la carte, w no "packages" available. The only commonality is most do some sort of lighting and photo booth combination. In boston you do things different perhaps, where often you're dealing with blank canvases and the "solutions" may be more involved if needed. You've personally also expanded beyond the typical "mobile wedding dj" offerings and are more of a sound/av company focusing more on the custom solutions aspect, as opposed to standard wedding dj needs.

As I said, if this bride had never seen a wedding dj not quick mix, and even if the DJ asked what did you like.. I don't think this would be the point of appreciation she would point out. As someone who asks "what you do you appreciate or want your dancefloor to feel like throughout the night"... the response is often high energy, hype atmosphere later on, mix in some feel good stuff for the older guests early, but don't make it feel like a typical wedding. That's not super specific in terms of mixing style.

MIXMASTERMACHOM said:

What she did was assume the DJ for this wedding would do quick mixing and he didn't according to her. The blame should be on her and not the DJ in my opinion. Not every DJ is the same and not every DJ can do the same thing as another DJ.

When I first became a DJ in 81 you played the entire song before mixing in the next song. There were some songs over 9 minutes long. One song that was hot at one time was Kamala Lovelace "When Can Our Love Begin". It was a big hit years ago and was over 13 minutes long. That wouldn't work for the young people of today. Most of the songs that are popular to them is no more than 4 minutes long and some of those songs in my opinion are made by artists with no talent and I use the term artists lightly. Yet it's about simply put how much money can be made from a song? Talent today takes a backseat over profit.

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Mix you're stiill stuck in the 1980's and 90's and that's ok. You don't do weddings. The bride had NEVER seen a dj NOT quick mix. To her, this has always been a standard way of mixing at all her friends weddings. If you've never seen someone not quick mix, why would a bride, planning her first and only event w/ a dj, think to ask that.

You're blaming a bride... but the reality is that bride just broadcasted her opinion to 20,000 people. Isn't the whole point of seeing what she said to adjust so that never happens to you.

Talent today is perceived differenty than talent of the past. Things and trends evolve. To the 25-35yr old bride, talent is the DJ that can maintain energy and momentum on the dance floor and banging in as many of her and friends favorite songs seamlessly. Today it's about familiarity with the song selections, in the past it was about who could introduce something unique that they didn't hear anywhere else and dj's searching for that one hidden gem.


As I said... this seems to ALWAYS be controversial on here, and I guess i don't understand why. If you're in the Wedding industry, this should be obvious that this is where the expectations are going. If you don't do weddings or don't focus on them, totally different.