I need to vent

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rickryan.com

DJ Extraordinaire
ODJT Supporter
Dec 9, 2009
19,300
17,427
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Hendersonville, TN
www.rickryan.com
Well, it finally happened. I had a worker no show on me for today's wedding. New wedding coordinator, mid-thirties. I have to admit, it's my own fault. I knew she was flaky, but I've known her a long time and have used her on a number of other weddings as a makeup artist and bar-tender. She'd been working with this bride for several months and this was her first event as coordinator. The couple arrived from Florida on Thursday and the bride starts asking me "Where's Fallon?" I messaged her and got a reply "My child is sick." Bride was obviously not happy. Friday comes, setup day, and Fallon is nowhere to be found, again. Apparently, Fallon had made all these promises to this bride that she would have several centerpiece displays setup and told her that she would take care of all setup (the clients normally do most/all of this themselves and my coordinator usually will assist). Now the bride is REALLY unhappy and starts in with the "I'm close to asking for money back." I went to work with setup and ironing table linens. I then called another girl and she was there in 5 minutes. Spent a little bit of time helping the bride, tensions eased, back on track. She'll be there this morning. Great girl, great work ethic (her dad is my best friend).

I realize it's my own d%#$ fault but that's the first time I've ever had a worker just not show up.............for a wedding of all things. The bad part, Fallon has been flaky before and I decided, against my better judgement, to give her another chance. NEVER again. She's dead to me. Thanks for listening. I hope it never happens to you. Fingers crossed that everything else goes smoothly.
 
Oh yeah, one more downer from this event. The groom's father is the younger brother of a very long-time friend that I knew from high school. We were in a garage band together and used to get up early on Sundays to go to the radio station to play for his dad's gospel group. The groom's dad told me his brother, my good friend, is dying of cancer and has somewhere between 6-14 months to live. He's going to be at the wedding today. Not looking forward to that moment. I will be happy when this day is done.
 
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Let me say this. You never mentioned any other time that she was flaky. She should have called and told you what was going on. That her son was sick if that's the case. Her not doing that would have upset me.

Sorry to hear about your friend. I have someone I know who's father has 4 stage bone Cancer. So no telling when God will be calling him home. Only God knows when your time is up.
 
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Not easy to find good reliable people in the industry. Funny how our gut instinct gives us clues & we don't take action. People refer to ,People can change if you give them one more chance! Bull sh##! Maybe but you have a business and reputation to be conceded with. Dump her & move on with your life.
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL! I know , easy to say. This issue has taken more the enough rental space in you head.
Sounds as if things are working out in the long run for you on this event.
Tomorrow there will some other issue. Pros like you will step up and handle the obstacles .
 
Not easy to find good reliable people in the industry. Funny how our gut instinct gives us clues & we don't take action. People refer to ,People can change if you give them one more chance! Bull sh##! Maybe but you have a business and reputation to be conceded with. Dump her & move on with your life.
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL! I know , easy to say. This issue has taken more the enough rental space in you head.
Sounds as if things are working out in the long run for you on this event.
Tomorrow there will some other issue. Pros like you will step up and handle the obstacles .

Thanks for the encouragement. Fallon who? You're exactly right about trusting your gut instincts. I knew she was a flake, but I just didn't realize it would go as far as her just blowing off a bride's wedding. That's beyond pathetic. Lesson learned. This situation also speaks to something else that has become a really big problem. Girls in their 20s and 30s will not communicate if there's the slightest chance of conflict. This also extends to sales appointments. I see 30%-40% of brides who will set an appointment, then won't show or even call to tell you they can't make it. Then they'll just ghost you. It's getting harder and harder to get a conversation started and it's a real point of frustration to me. Have you guys seen an uptick in this kind of behavior?
 
Thanks for the encouragement. Fallon who? You're exactly right about trusting your gut instincts. I knew she was a flake, but I just didn't realize it would go as far as her just blowing off a bride's wedding. That's beyond pathetic. Lesson learned. This situation also speaks to something else that has become a really big problem. Girls in their 20s and 30s will not communicate if there's the slightest chance of conflict. This also extends to sales appointments. I see 30%-40% of brides who will set an appointment, then won't show or even call to tell you they can't make it. Then they'll just ghost you. It's getting harder and harder to get a conversation started and it's a real point of frustration to me. Have you guys seen an uptick in this kind of behavior?

I am probably not involved in this type of behavior like you are experiencing, but GHOSTING, and staying silent is pretty much the MO with 96% of leads that I receive from the bash both male and female. It has always been that way, and has probably gotten a bit worse in recent years compared to 10 years ago.

I have 9 leads in my bash inbox right now...All have been sent a follow up email or message. Zero responses. I just deleted 5 leads that were over 45 days old, so I had 14 leads in there. All have seen the quote. I have had one booking on there so far in 2023. That one booking pay for the membership of being on there for the year, but results are not inspiring these past few years to say the least.

If I get them to a phone call conversation with me, They are about 95% likely to book me at that point. I seem to only lose 1 in every 20 after the phone call. If I do lose them after the phone call it is either because they already had another DJ lined up, but something happened where that DJ became unavailable, then somehow became available again before they chose to book with me, OR they are upfront during the phone call saying they are talking with multiple DJs first, and then will make a decision. This scenario has not even happened yet in 2023 to me.
 
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I'm not even gonna begin to comment on the lack of work ethic in many and the disregard to even provide notice that the employee wasn't able come in to work... what I will comment on is systems in place for your business. My advice based on how to best incorporate coordinators going forward.

A database is a must going forward. Anything that you or the coordinator discuss with a client has to be entered in there, including special accommodations, freebies, unusual needs, etc. This way in case there is an issue with the coordinator you already know in advance what the event entails. Likewise, every Wednesday (or whatever day prior to the weeks events) you should hold a call with your coordinator going over the events of the week and making sure nothing is overlooked. Again this is just to handle worst case scenarios as best as possible.
 
Update: The event was successful but, unfortunately, this bride was one of those who only want to complain about everything. Even though it was a great party with lots of compliments from family and even the bride herself, she still was angling for a partial refund. That obviously will not be happening but I'm expecting to get an email or text, asking for one. I tell you, I'm really feeling my age (58). Stress just wipes me out and by Sunday I felt like I'd been run over by a Mack truck. Time to forget it and get ready for the next one, this Thursday for 70 people. Onward and upward.
 
I'm really feeling my age (58)
Understand where you are coming from OldMan. :djsmug: Sept. 9th will than likely be my last out of doors ceremony setup and reception.
Very little outgoing debt and only booking higher end, predictable events. I do one car show a year for a five star shooting facilities summer blast and this my be may last. Owner talked me into doing this year & the staff are great people Plus I am a Platinum Life member of the center.
I'll be 70 years old in July and accordingly to Ricky I am way over the hill. :djsmug: Thought I would add a blurry picture.
 

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Understand where you are coming from OldMan. :djsmug: Sept. 9th will than likely be my last out of doors ceremony setup and reception.
Very little outgoing debt and only booking higher end, predictable events. I do one car show a year for a five star shooting facilities summer blast and this my be may last. Owner talked me into doing this year & the staff are great people Plus I am a Platinum Life member of the center.
I'll be 70 years old in July and accordingly to Ricky I am way over the hill. :djsmug: Thought I would add a blurry picture.
My friend is older than you and he's still doing it. He did 2 events this weekend.
 
Update: The event was successful but, unfortunately, this bride was one of those who only want to complain about everything. Even though it was a great party with lots of compliments from family and even the bride herself, she still was angling for a partial refund. That obviously will not be happening but I'm expecting to get an email or text, asking for one.
And, just like that, it played out exactly as I expected. The only twist, she put her husband up to trying to work me over for money. I still feel bad about the no-show Coordinator but, I did get a substitute and everything was covered. They did try and list off a few other nit-picky things but I won't budge. The contract was fulfilled and they even got an extra night's stay. No sir, you're not owed any money and I won't be paying you any. Next.
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And, just like that, it played out exactly as I expected. The only twist, she put her husband up to trying to work me over for money. I still feel bad about the no-show Coordinator but, I did get a substitute and everything was covered. They did try and list off a few other nit-picky things but I won't budge. The contract was fulfilled and they even got an extra night's stay. No sir, you're not owed any money and I won't be paying you any. Next.
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Can't please everyone! The problem with weddings is so many of these couples expect PERFECTION, and these appear to be among the couples who will nit pick.

So they mentioned They received Chicken Fingers, but ordered BBQ Chicken as the Catering. Also, Potato Salad instead of Cole Slaw that was served. Was that true? If so, how did that error happen? I would assume they signed paperwork with their menu picked items picked out.
 
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Can't please everyone! The problem with weddings is so many of these couples expect PERFECTION, and these appear to be among the couples who will nit pick.

So they mentioned They received Chicken Fingers, but ordered BBQ Chicken as the Catering. Also, Potato Salad instead of Cole Slaw that was served. Was that true? If so, how did that error happen? I would assume they signed paperwork with their menu picked items picked out.
That's what I was going to ask.
 
Can't please everyone! The problem with weddings is so many of these couples expect PERFECTION,

They expect it because they are promised it. look at pretty much any advertising for wedding vendors
 
Can't please everyone! The problem with weddings is so many of these couples expect PERFECTION, and these appear to be among the couples who will nit pick.

So they mentioned They received Chicken Fingers, but ordered BBQ Chicken as the Catering. Also, Potato Salad instead of Cole Slaw that was served. Was that true? If so, how did that error happen? I would assume they signed paperwork with their menu picked items picked out.

It's a bit of gray area. Keep in mind, I had a coordinator who quit mid-stream. The 2nd girl picked this event up, then bailed (no-show). I had notes from a meeting with the couple, which were relayed to the caterer. Your idea of having them sign is a good one, and something I'll be adding in the future. My view, there is no cause for a refund. The groom did try one more text, making mention that they were unable to meet with the replacement (who was hired the day before the wedding). He also complained about wrinkles in the linens (I ironed everything myself), a couple of table cloths that needed to be replaced due to stains, and a dirty coffee pot. You may view it differently, but I don't see justification for a refund unless some contractual item(s) is left off completely. These are minor issues and they're just trying to extort money. I believe I've made the correct call here and have learned to stand my ground.
 
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Suck it up big boys. Some people are crooks and day dream how they can push this very nice Disc Jockey for all they can get
For frrrrrreeeee!!! Ha Ha take on me
 
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It's a bit of gray area. Keep in mind, I had a coordinator who quit mid-stream. The 2nd girl picked this event up, then bailed (no-show). I had notes from a meeting with the couple, which were relayed to the caterer. Your idea of having them sign is a good one, and something I'll be adding in the future. My view, there is no cause for a refund. The groom did try one more text, making mention that they were unable to meet with the replacement (who was hired the day before the wedding). He also complained about wrinkles in the linens (I ironed everything myself), a couple of table cloths that needed to be replaced due to stains, and a dirty coffee pot. You may view it differently, but I don't see justification for a refund unless some contractual item(s) is left off completely. These are minor issues and they're just trying to extort money. I believe I've made the correct call here and have learned to stand my ground.


I agree that those are stupid frivolous things to point out and try to get money back with. Having perfectly pressed linens is something I would expect at a high end high budget wedding. Not a wedding where BBQ chicken or Chicken Fingers is being served.

When I got married our caterer provided all the linens which were blue and white. I had no care in the world to inspect all the linens for wrinkles, that did not cross my mind at all, and I am sure my wife would not have cared in the slightest about that. Now if they were obviously super wrinkled and really stood out, then that probably would have got our attention, but my sister was helping decorate and was sorta like our "coordinator" and would have made them change the linens out if she saw they were horrible looking.
 
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I'm of the opinion that a little good will goes a long way. I'm working as a sales exec for my day job and while it kills me that a customer complaining about something that isn't in the scope of work wants money back or wants free stuff, sometimes you have to give a little to get a little.

I can somewhat get where this couple is coming from, they booked you, expecting a wedding planner and one quit and one no-showed, and that's a poor reflection on you venue (weather that's fair or not is a different story). Yes you provided them with a replacedment for the coordinator, and it was last minute, but it wasn't who they had met with or really knew. If the OG coordinator hadn't quit, then there wouldn't have been the catering issue.

Once that issue was on the table, all the other little issues that probably would have been ignored, suddenly came to light (chicken fingers vs bbq chicken, table cloths with apparent wrinkles, etc).

I'm not advocating a full or even a half off refund, but I do think something would be better then nothing.

I might word something like this "Dear Hank and Julie, Once again, I'm sorry that your experience was not what your expectation was. We always strive to provide the best service possible and we fell short in that. I understand your frustration with going through three wedding planners, one of whom you didn't really get the chance to know, which in turn impacted other areas of the event. As I'm sure you are aware, sometimes people we trust turn out to be untrustworthy. We want to earn your trust back. To that goal, we extended you an extra night at no cost. Normally this is valued at $100. I also wanted to extend to you a $100 refund or offer you a three hour credit to use our venue for a special event in the next two years - be it a anniversary, birthday party, baby or bridal shower. If this is agreeable to you, please let me know asap and which option you'd like."

I don't know your prices, this is just an example. Take it or leave it, but I think it would go a long way. Remember it takes a lot to build up a reputation and very little to tear it down.