Again, you're fixated on merchandising rather than the talent, which is a common mistake among DJs. If as you suggest, this merchandise is a requirement to close our bookings - then we are not really in the DJ business. The job we are selling and subsequently perform is something different than the label we applied.
You know this intuitively because you're often one of the first respondents to threads in which someone poses adding a new "effect" as a way to increase their price or reach a better clientele. We already know it doesn't work that way. Discriminating clientele hire based on references and proven results - not curb appeal. I can literally pull part of the show, and not have to adjust the bill because the fee was not based on any particular piece of merchandise being deployed. I can provide a cloud to dance on - but your invoice is for the event as a whole not a schedule of merchandise or effects.
I don't think you really know enough about my area, it's trends, or what is and isn't allowed by venues to draw any meaningful conclusions. Your notion of "high end" (as you call it) appears to have a short horizon.
"Trendy" means you are doing what has already been done and is being repeated en mass. As a DJ you are imitating not creating, and like fashion the photos are a way to clothe yourself in the latest style trends - designed, created, and showcased by someone well ahead of you.
All of this trickles down from event planners, decorators, set designers, lighting and production houses. A DJ can most certainly be "high end" and never lay a finger on ANY of this stuff. (It's only the online retail Chinese knock-offs that are on back order.) The production community in "my area" (and yours) knows where to find it and how to get these things, often on short notice.
Truly high end events have dozens of sub-contracts. I'm sub-contracted at least 1/3 of the time and usually for things well above and beyond the DJ role. I often subcontract others as well. I agree that people want to hire someone else to do all of these things but, nobody is opposed to sub contracts. If they appear that way - their issue is credibility regarding the strength and reliability of our professional connections - not the act of sub-contracting in and of itself.
We have to preface this with acknowledging that I'm strictly talking about the wedding industry. Corporate is a whole different animal.
Now I'm not fixated on merchandising... the talent is and should be the primary draw to a couple... but if a couple can't get the complete package, they will find other top quality entertainers who will have a full selection of services. It's not about offering "novelty items"... it's about creating the full experience that they seek. In NJ and the surrounding market outside of NYC perhaps, it's about going big and creating signature moments with the coolest effects and technology or live musicians. Now in my area, top tier companies for example are SCE, Posh DJ's and Elite Sound... and on their sites all of them have sections dedicated solely to the enhancements they offer in house. Couples want to know what DJ's offer before reaching out... they don't want to waste their time if a dj doesn't have sparklers. Couples now know subcontracting means overpaying.
How you price is up to you... but again, you have to know your market. Here it's the DJ plus the enhancements. While you get a total event price... essentially it's either packages or a la carte... but a couple understands what the break down is in terms of the cost for whatever items they add. I did the wedding booking process for myself... I contacted 2 of my go to companies... They had a catalog with about 20 line items with the individual prices that I could add to my event (although my crew provided just about everything). If you decide to price the whole event without a breakdown or without the couple understanding the cost of each item, it'll be met with skepticism. Those days are long gone here where pricing isn't presented ahead of your consultation, or pricing isn't itemized. That left almost a decade ago... and the old school companies that responded to inquiries asking for pricing by saying "we want to know more about your event first" or "only offered in person or after a consultation", are no longer in business or have diminished to doing birthday parties. Couples want pricing up front and in package or a la carte form with pricing ahead of time.
I'm also not talking about your area though (new england area I beleive), where popular items we offer aren't even allowed like sparklers, clouds, snow effects, co2 blasts. I speak to Dj's there, and To increase your total event price, you have to go way beyond the scope of what a DJ here would normally offer. You may have to focus more on decor, or lounge furniture, or other elements that here would be provided by others. In the area I and mix serve... DJ's handle music and production, florists and event designers handle decor and other presentation items, photographers handle their field etc. I find it fascinating in NJ that we don't have distinguished wedding planners like in other states... but it's simply because here things are handled differently. "Event planners" here are really just super high end florists and decorators. The closest you get to one is hiring an all day coordinator who really just handles day of aspects or booking unique services like food trucks. I've yet to work with an actual wedding planner in NJ who handles all the vendors, handles all the contracts, etc, and many of my weddings are well over six figures.
DJ's that tried to dip their hands into too many things outside of their realm of what's expected, unless it was the Mitzvah market, ultimately failed in the wedding market because they didn't seem to specialize in any one thing (long gone are the days of dj's offering limos, photo/video, etc). Couples seek dj's that play awesome music and create amazing moments through lighting and effects, end of story. Even the live musicians are getting smart and are no longer being subcontracted through dj's but are marketing themselves and charging and keeping 100% of what the dj's charged. The top live saxaphonist and drummer no longer contract through dj's.
The a/v production community also doesn't really have a place here in the wedding industry (corporate market is different). Perhaps with bands they will, as most don't offer any level of enhancements, and therefore an outside company needs to come in, but not when it comes to DJ productions. All the top tier dj's here will supply all their own enhancements... it's the dj's they outsource if needed... almost as if the DJ is secondary to some clients. I aimed to change that by marketing myself as the individual first, but also being able to provide the entire experience. I honestly don't know of any dj company here that really markets the individual DJ's talent first (not just dj's generically), with exception of SCE.
Also many of the top tier venues here that can actually handle the large concert level productions do have massive lighting and a/v productions already installed with 40+ moving heads or effects, co2 cannons, projectors all around the room, etc... which can be added to a couples package and a tech is hired from the dj company they partner with... so again, no a/v production companies involved in that.
All the biggest celebrity weddings in NJ who spent hundreds of thousands on their reception alone, still utilized the same elements that I mentioned above with DJ's offering everything in house. Only difference is instead of 2 or 4 sparklers or moving heads, they expand on that to go big... or they use the venues in house lighting and effect production if available. The decor company's are the ones where the most money is spent on florals, upgraded chairs, lounge furniture, table displays, etc.
Now if you're talking about performers or special acts... again those are things that can be hired directly from the event planner (again, glorified florist/decorator) or talent agencies directly or for more extreme acts like acrobats from the ceiling or caged lions, those may need to go through the venues sources for the people they approve and allow to provide those services (I've had fire acts, stunt performers from vegas and caged lions for a hollywood theme at my past events). if you're talking about girls in champagne dresses or costumes for themed events, again, those are through event planners or venue provided sources that they personally allow. For example some venues only allow certain florists for certain style designs.
There's only one company I know that provides the selling style that you are referencing where a total price is simply given, and they offer just about anything under the sun, with half the items being subcontracted. They are extremely successful... but primarily in NYC for corporate functions/weddings/and mitzvahs... while they had a thriving Mitzvah market in NJ up until 2016 or so, their wedding market never took off because their approach never sat well with couples who were being charged obnoxious amounts with no breakdown as to how that price was conceived and/or being nickel and dimed for everything (who has a "Delivery fee")... eventually other Mitzvah only companies overtook the market with branding targeting mitzvahs specifically compared to their approach which was essentially being branded as a big spenders entertainment/production company. That pricing and selling strategy just doesn't work here for the wedding market.
Ultimately, I'm just curious of what this experience is that you provide to your 25-35yr old wedding couples and how you handle their initial inquiries of "we're interested in learning more about your pricing?"