Weddings Catastrophic failure, and how to recover?

Control Alt Delete?

you learn somthin new every event

For some reason, I find these situations always happen at American Legion halls. How to recover? You really can't.

I did a wedding last year where almost nobody danced for three hours straight. Just two girls on the dancefloor. No matter what I played, people just sat there. They weren't even socializing. Most left right after dinner. Thinking I had lost my ability to rock a party (it was a February wedding and my first since December), I did everything I could to try to keep cool. At the end of the party, one of the dancing girls came up to me and told me I was the best DJ she'd seen at a wedding, and then followed it up with this...

"It just sucks how one person's sh*tty attitude can keep everyone from having a good time".

Apparently one of the bride's cousins had decided to air his grievances with the entire family shortly after the ceremony and really put everyone in a bad mood. The cousin wasn't at the reception, but people were done with the whole day.

The bride gave me a 5-star review. Whatever happened that day was no fault of mine, and I still played every song she had asked me to.

Bryan, don't worry about it. Stuff happens and sometimes you're simply caught in a no-win situation. In this case, the B&G's preferences didn't mesh with those of their guests and the hosts didn't care to try and please their friends/family. I can tell you also that, every time I get a client that tells me they want country, I have a talk with them about how it doesn't work on the dance floor. If they proceed, they've at least been advised on what will happen with their event.

You say it was at an American Legion hall. Do you know if the older guests were American Legion members/Veterans?

Two questions...was alcohol served or available? And was there any religious reasons for no dancing as in Baptist attendees?

This is something I discuss with the Bride and groom.

Do they expect people to dance?

Do they expect people to dance to these requests?

If I see people not liking these requests, do you want me to play what they will dance to?

Not every party that has no dancing is the djs fault.

With a small crowd like that, I'd probably talk to a lot of people, ask them what they want

Some people have a great time just sitting and talking while listening.

If you are truly working on trying to make sure the guests and more specifically your clients are having a good time, then don't worry about anything else. Can't please everyone.

If people are having a bad time because you are not reading them and or dont know the different genres, then it's your fault.

I get country requests all the time and they do work on the dance floor. I've done all country dances! So country can work, it just depends on the type of country and what country songs you play. "Storytelling country" usually doesn't but not all country is the same. George Strait, Garth Brooks, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Travis Tritt, Big and Rich, Alan Jackson, Brooks and Dunn, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Florida-Georgia Line, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Ashley Monroe, Shania Twain, Steve Earle, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Kenny Chesney, Zac Brown Band. I've had success with all those.

These things do happen and as long as the B/G were happy, then it's all gravy. Just out of curiosity, and to help you understand, what was your playlist? And when playing to a mixed age crowd and mixing up the genres from older to younger, this is usually what I do.

Start with something everybody knows. Here (and I do a lot of Legion halls, VFWs, KoCs, etc) I start with an "icebreaker" ala Cha-Cha Slide (Casper Slide), Shout, Swing The Mood from Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers, etc OR I start with a hot 80s rock song like Shook Me All Night Long. depending on what I start with, I play 2 or 3 more songs in that style (for example Shook Me, I love Rock and Roll, Old Time Rock and Roll) then shift to a different genre. I almost always make the 60s one of the first "sets" I play. For example, Shout, Twist, Twist and Shout. Then I go country. If I'm in polka country, I'll do some polkas and waltzes, back to country or an icebreaker like the Chicken Dance or the Flying Dutchman. If I go back to country its one or two songs (usually a slow one and then House Party) then top 40 Party songs (Don't Stop The Party, Party Rock Anthem, Party in the USA), another more modern icebreaker (Cupid Shuffle), Downtown or Uptown Funk then into some 70s funk/R&B/Soul/Motown almost always ending with ABC. Then Classic by MKTO and a slow song (Bruno Mars, Ed Sheeran, etc).

If I notice people aren't dancing, I'll change things up sooner trying out slower songs, more country, less country, more oldies, more icebreakers, etc.

Sometimes you just get a group that doesn't want to dance though and nothing you do works. It happens, talk to the B/G and ask "is there anything I can do different, you know your family better then I do, what will get them to dance?"

I've offered to go out and teach the Cha-Cha Slide, the Electric Slide, the Cupid Shuffle, etc to try and get people on the dance floor and then there are dances where everything you touch is golden.

This is why I pour on the Music Videos, Music Videos and more Music Videos. You would be amazed at the weddings I have salvaged by convincing people "You have to go this way"! I will and have refused gigs before I will play audio only gigs ever is how strongly I feel about this. One of the benefits of the screens is I always post my Text number for requests scrolling across the bottom of the screen and publicly invite people to come up to me for requests. That way there is no doubt what people want to hear. Even if they don't dance you still have a captivated audience where noise levels for talking can be a little high - especially the older folks. Sound is but one sense and in this day and age you have to take a poke at as many senses as possible to keep them captivated and interested. For upbeat songs I don't have videos for I use banks of HD vids that are guaranteed to keep people enthralled similar to the "People are awesome" series of HD vids on Youtube. Check them out if you have never seen...

I also discuss musical choices and level of content well beforehand with the B&G (i.e. clean or dirty or XXX versions of songs and vids of which I always have variations when available). I had one non-dancing group (save for a small group) stay to the bitter end and received huge kudos by all as the most interesting and entertaining wedding they ever attended. Received many compliments that night. Just imagine playing the "Maroon 5 - Sugar" music video at wedding with a little explanation - a hit every time. Same with Goo "Goo Dolls - Come to Me" music video. If you haven't seen these videos I strongly urge you to go to YouTube right now and watch them in their entirety.
Well slap my butt and call me Dandy if these types of touches don't really really make a difference!
My two cents FWIW anyway...

See:
Copper Collar DJ and VJ Services

Video is a nice add on for some events, but I don't believe it's strength Is getting requests

These are tough posts to respond to as the view is one sided and perhaps jaded. Perhaps the true value of a great mobile DJ lies in the ability to entertain and engage their audiences, with music being a secondary tool.

There are many ways in which to engage and entertain a grumpy pants-ed audience which will depend entirely on the DJ's personality and how far they are willing to go with it (and their audience). Some times irreverence; sometimes radio DJ replete with song trivia and artist information; sometimes announce the next three songs and see the reaction; sometimes swinging naked from the chandelier; sometimes insider details about the B&G you obtained during the interview and planning form stages of preparation.

As Joey Bagadonuts from Brooklyn said, "Somtimes ya just godda do whatcha godda do!"

Scott Hanna said:

Video is a nice add on for some events, but I don't believe it's strength Is getting requests

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Funny, my experience has been just the opposite. When I put my text number up on my screens I usually get more requests than I can handle in an evening. Fact is I get 10 text requests for every in-person request "always". It's the nature of the younger generation who live for their phones. Even my wife (a self professed computer anything hater) is addicted to it and she used to be old school phone me or don't bother... Quite frankly I hate texting. It is a patently slow and cumbersome way of communicating but it is the way the young choose to do it - Fact is they will go out of there way not to have to talk face to face - Bizarre anti-social behaviour or what? Why rock the boat if it works?

Navydiver said:

Funny, my experience has been just the opposite. When I put my text number up on my screens I usually get more requests than I can handle in an evening. Fact is I get 10 text requests for every in-person request "always". It's the nature of the younger generation who live for their phones. Even my wife (a self professed computer anything hater) is addicted to it and she used to be old school phone me or don't bother... Quite frankly I hate texting. It is a patently slow and cumbersome way of communicating but it is the way the young choose to do it - Fact is they will go out of there way not to have to talk face to face - Bizarre anti-social behaviour or what? Why rock the boat if it works?

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I just look at it differently. Doesn't mean your way is wrong. If it's working for you, keep doing it.

I don't doubt that you get requests. As you said, you get more requests than you can handle. I don't want a pile of requests from unknown people.

It's kind of like when brides put a note in their invitation asking for song requests. I highly recommend against it. Because then I have a bunch of song requests that aren't going to get filled. But the worst part is trying to fill requests instead of picking the right songs for the party.

I'll gladly take requests at my booth. I like to know who is requesting it, what is their demeanor, their body language, are they going to dance to this song? I can get a better sense from them being there in front of me. If they don't want to come to the booth, how badly do they want to hear that song?

But 95% of the time, I believe I have a better idea of what song the majority of that crowd wants to hear than a kid with a cell phone.

Granted, I don't do a ton of teen events. But I just haven't found myself in need of requests from them when I do them.

It happens, it sucks, move on to the next one. Any DJ that says it has not, is either an amateur or lying. It's one reason I always tell our clients. "Listen a wedding is not a club. At a club people drink and dance, that's what they are there for. But at a wedding they are there for you and most want to spend time with you. So you dance and they dance if you do shots in a corner, smoking cigars. Then many will do the same, so dance. " It really is about family and friend dynamics.

It's strange when you see a group and you can see that is the way "they" are and it holds true many times. Yes it can be extremely painful. That is usually when I try to be a little more active on the dance floor. If that does not work then in my mind "Kiss may ass" ).
Recently on Facebook I had one of our favorite and best Photographers in our area post something out of the blue on our combine page.


Heather Marshall ‎to Dave Schoonover
April 30 at 9:27pm ·
I am so thankful for the DJ you are and glad Sam and I get to work with you guys a few more times this year and next. You always keep the dance floor going, or at least even with a tough crowd who doesn't want to dance you keep the party alive regardless.


That really does say it all. I know as a DJ we can be our worst enemy. I know cause I can as well, I really have come to understand sometimes we have to take a step back and look at the whole event. Is the atmosphere there? is the music good. Do the people have any energy? I always tell our clients that I'm not a magician, though I have dressed like one in the past, Dance!! )