Attended my first Zoom wedding today

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sawdust123

DJ Extraordinaire
Nov 10, 2006
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I am not sure this couple would see it as a surrender. Yes, they were forced to look for non-traditional alternatives. However, I think they ended up with something they would repeat again if given the chance. Their original destination wedding plan was also a compromise as it would only have supported about 20 people. Then again, maybe they had their hearts set on wooden chicken, soggy macaroni, and mushy peas (but you can probably get that as take-out).
 
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rickryan.com

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But being there in person at the ceremony, typically a religious sacrament/ritual, is monumentally more important than pretending skype/zoom is in anyway meaningful or a substitute for human interaction,
"meaningful" is up to the client, and this is worrisome, at least to me. If these remote weddings become chic, then it's game over for us DJs. Like many of you, we've had clients this year who went ahead with a private, family-only ceremony. There's minimal cost involved and if technology enables these people to have their friends witness their wedding, possibly still be able to get wedding gifts from them, then we're in dangerous territory for large number gatherings.

As for meaningful, I've had several situations where Skype/Facetime have been used, quite effectively, to include loved ones that simply could not attend in person. Just in the past 2 years I can remember a bride who was a missionary and had one of her people attend from the other side of the planet. Still another was a bride whose grandmother wasn't expected to live thru the night, so it was very "meaningful" for her granny to see her get married. It's all up to the brides to decide and you and I are at the mercy of their opinions.
 

djrox

Sir Wyzazz
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Aug 12, 2006
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My concern isn't for "us DJ's", that's a very selfish perspective.

No, my concern is for the foundation that this Great Nation was built upon, the Judeo-Christain family.

Granted, that foundation isn't pristineor without major imperfections but is has proven, over 240+ years, to be a very strong foundation for developing and upholding human rights, defending freedom, and when ever possible fostering peace and moral leadership.

As for facilitating a few family members that have immovable barriers to attend the ceremony, I acknowledge the value of the less tactile participation via technology but for it to be given equivalence, I reject that without reservation.
 

rickryan.com

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My concern isn't for "us DJ's", that's a very selfish perspective.

No, my concern is for the foundation that this Great Nation was built upon, the Judeo-Christain family.

Granted, that foundation isn't pristineor without major imperfections but is has proven, over 240+ years, to be a very strong foundation for developing and upholding human rights, defending freedom, and when ever possible fostering peace and moral leadership.

As for facilitating a few family members that have immovable barriers to attend the ceremony, I acknowledge the value of the less tactile participation via technology but for it to be given equivalence, I reject that without reservation.
You're being a bit dramatic. I'm fairly certain that big weddings and their over-the-top budgets have not always been vital to marriage and without them people will still get married and continue to have families. I'd really be interested to know when the tradition of lavish events got started but I think you'd be hard pressed to go more than 50-70 years back before you'd find it.
 

steve149

Shine on you crazy diamond
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You're being a bit dramatic. I'm fairly certain that big weddings and their over-the-top budgets have not always been vital to marriage and without them people will still get married and continue to have families. I'd really be interested to know when the tradition of lavish events got started but I think you'd be hard pressed to go more than 50-70 years back before you'd find it.
Rocky ?? Dramatic ?? :)
 
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steve149

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I don't think weddings or other social gatherings will change significantly. That doesn't mean there won't be some folks who decide to save money and do it online. I think more practically, it might allow an option to those who can't travel the distance, but would like to "see" what's going on .. and it might be safer for Gram and Gramps to not be among a virus cesspool ...

If you do a lot of weddings, it probably makes sense to investigate what it would take to offer a remote stream as an add-on .. Probably should hit up Mix for the appropriate details ...
 
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djrox

Sir Wyzazz
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Aug 12, 2006
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New Orleans, Louisiana
You're being a bit dramatic. I'm fairly certain that big weddings and their over-the-top budgets have not always been vital to marriage and without them people will still get married and continue to have families. I'd really be interested to know when the tradition of lavish events got started but I think you'd be hard pressed to go more than 50-70 years back before you'd find it.
You assume with abandon.

When you assume the ass is u before me.

I never mentioned big or over the top budgets or lavish events...you conflated that, incorrectly, all on your own.
 
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steve149

Shine on you crazy diamond
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steve149

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sawdust123

DJ Extraordinaire
Nov 10, 2006
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Ventura County, CA
I remember seeing a statistic many years ago that said that said that those couples that have a big wedding are much more likely to have a divorce than those who elope. I don't recall the difference but it was huge and shocking. So given that, I am not worried about small ceremonies impacting family values.

I also don't think Zoom will become a trend that kills of the industry. The wedding industry is subject to fads. Practices come and go. In 20 years, the chicken dance could be a must play song again.
 

sawdust123

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Nov 10, 2006
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Ventura County, CA
The idea of connecting remote guests isn't new. I did a wedding about 20 years ago where the MoG was bedridden half way across the country. I got her number from the bride and called her to record a toast a few weeks before the day. The day of, the best man (a brother of groom) didn't want to give a toast so another brother stepped in and gave a 'heartfelt' toast that consisted simply of, "Here's to the bride and groom." People were looking around confused and wondering if that was it and whether they should take a drink. Luckily, I had Mom's recording cued up and hers was a proper toast that saved the moment. After that, I always checked to find out if key people wouldn't be able to make it. Now this could be done with a live feed.
 

dunlopj

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Aug 14, 2008
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As for meaningful, I've had several situations where Skype/Facetime have been used, quite effectively, to include loved ones that simply could not attend in person.
Ricky, maybe this could be an offering in your venue for those who for whatever reason could not be at the site.

Turn lemons into lemonade....?
 

Proformance

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Nov 6, 2006
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The debate over whether Zoom is acceptable for a wedding is really a matter of the personal tastes and values for the B&G only.
That's not true in practice however, and here's why:

The bride and groom here were very pleased with their results. Zoom enabled them to include everyone they wanted. They wouldn't have been able to do that with their original wedding plan due to the practicalities and costs involved
Now, thanks to Zoom people can virtually invite every acquaintance they can think of with no cost or risk while simultaneously expecting wedding gifts from all. Once again we place the ability to monetize a connection over the social value of real relationships. Just read the 'Dear Abby" columns and you'll find a regular pattern of people faced with this exact dilemma of how to respond to invitations fully aware that absent this virtual realm they would never have been on the guests list.

I'm not speaking to the personalities in the specific event described, because I don't know any of the people involved. nor do I think every instance of social media is void of value between people who are already deeply connected in the real world. Rather, I'm commenting on the social media trend in general and how as a society we have grown MORE separated, more discontent, more abrasive, more toxic, and more violent as a result of social media. Social media is not connecting people with each other. It is connecting people with a mirror of themselves and when (as is always the case) it fails to reflect what they ultimately desire - we as a community become more anti-social both online and in the real world.
 
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djrox

Sir Wyzazz
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Aug 12, 2006
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I'm not speaking to the personalities in the specific event described, because I don't know any of the people involved. nor do I think every instance of social media is void of value between people who are already deeply connected in the real world. Rather, I'm commenting on the social media trend in general and how as a society we have grown MORE separated, more discontent, more abrasive, more toxic, and more violent as a result of social media. Social media is not connecting people with each other. It is connecting people with a mirror of themselves and when (as is always the case) it fails to reflect what they ultimately desire - we as a community become more anti-social both online and in the real world.
Ditto...and sadly, I concur.
 

steve149

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Well, thankfully, ODJT is pulling people together ....