The complaints came not because of any bad Interactions, "fights" or "almost fights" between myself and other members. It came because those who complained were expecting the Proverbial Pat on the back. They did not get it from me and that pissed them off. Also, I only commented on an individual once. I would also follow up with a recommendation, I always do. The repetition of what I said, the same message came about by the regulars reading the same time over and over. Topics repeat themselves so its only natural that answers, feedback and critique will do the same.
As far as Arnoldo is concerned, almost every day he bans people who don't agree with him. That is no secret on the Internet! His ego is drastically misplaced. He was the one being offended because he too wears Speakers like Headphones.
It takes two to start an argument, remember that! However when people see my name in a lengthy heated thread the first thing they think is "there he goes again" without reading the whole thread. There are a bunch of DJs who have befriended me from the Groups on FB, why? Because they are objective and they know my Objective Criticism holds no malice. I try and share things that can improve someone's game. Some appreciate it and some don't.
I was under the impression that all the folks here and on the Internet Groups were adults and I see no need to Sugar Coat things when I speak my mind. This Society today is too Politically Correct. People are too damn sensitive. If they want Sugar Coating they should go visit a Bakery! I don't make personal attacks on the members. It is they who don't like what I am saying and its usually about ONE major Topic, "Speaker Placement". I am a straight shooter and call it as I see it. Some people can't handle the truth.
I have chosen to ignore some on this Forum because I have noticed that they always follow a good many of my posts with opposing views for no reason. So rather than have to go head to head I just let them do their thing without my involvement.
Canute - this post alone shows that you still feel you had no play in causing situations. You don't have to 'sugar coat' things as you say - but you do have to put them in ways that people can understand them. This does not mean that you comprehend what they do not. It means that there is an issue with how you transmit it .. and how they receive it. If this was with 1 person, I can see how it might be them - but it's not. You incur the same issues across multiple sites with multiple people. That said, at some point, one really should look in the mirror. There is a difference between being direct and still being able to partake .. and being abrasive and being disregarded. Add to it that there have been lots of times where you have not specifically said - but lead people to believe that there is only one way to do something.
Let's assume that you are offering a seminar. If the majority of the attendees are distracted, rattled or offended by how you say something, then all you've done is teach those people that you are NOT the one to listen to - no matter how correct or incorrect your information is. If your reply is - if you don't like it, ignore me - then you're announcing that you don't care what others think. How does one gain respect, clout or knowledge by not caring about others? Add to it that those people may have varying experiences and achieved the same or better results than you while using different methods - if you fail to acknowledge those possibilities, then you are also teaching those people that you are close minded to things.
To be considered a member of a society, you have to participate as part of that society and follow whatever the conditions of that society are. If you choose not to, then you will be an outcast. If you become an outcast, is it the society's fault for not conforming to you .. or your fault for not conforming to the society?
In order to be in a position for people to accept advice, you have to accept and adapt as needed for the situation. You also have to understand that others have experiences, situations and scenarios unlike yours - and your mind has to be open to accepting that, learning from it and dealing with it. If you want others to accept your ideas - you have to be willing to also accept others - and be imaginative enough to try to understand how something may or may not play out - even if you have not experienced it.
In this specific setting (ODJT), you are among peers. Among a peer group, we speak of and share ideas, advice, thoughts, opinions and knowledge (among other things). You may not use or like some of it - but it doesn't make it wrong or incorrect.
You also mention that society is too politically correct - yet are one of the first to call a foul when it doesn't go your way. Most people can handle the truth very well .. as long as its transmitted and received properly.
As for '.. to ignore some on this Forum because I have noticed that they always follow a good many of my posts with opposing views for no reason. So rather than have to go head to head I just let them do their thing without my involvement. ..' - this would be a further acknowledgement that you refuse to deal with any view other than your own and fail to comprehend that you may have caused some of the abrasiveness that exists between you and said people. People don't typically oppose views 'for no reason'. It may be for a valid reason or it may be for discussion (devils advocate). Regardless, sometimes those opposing views need to be mentioned to show other possibilities of results. You, yourself, have presented opposing views on topics (and seem to love to debate) - so this is like saying you want to have a one sided debate. What works for Canute, works for Canute and may not work for others. This isn't right or wrong. It is what it is.
You say you want to be able to act and speak like an adult, yet you would rather ignore people than participate in the community .. because of views or angles that may oppose your own. Again, if 1 person complains that you are being abrasive - then sure, maybe that person is hearing it wrong. If the majority of people are receiving it wrong, then maybe the message is being sent wrong. The only way to correct that is to send it properly.
Again, you have to be open to input and ideas from others. Without this, it will be futile.
In addition, it doesn't take 2 people to start an argument. It takes 2 to continue one.
In my honest opinion (and I've said it before), I think you can be a valuable person here and on the web - but you have to learn how to participate in a way that people will want to hear you and your message.
