Just a thought . . .

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A

Amber Benning

New DJ
Dec 22, 2006
57
0
43
Duluth, MN
I am the first to admit that I am not a regular poster on this board (or any other for that matter). I do however unwind some nights by reading several threads.

Tonight, after reading a few . . . I had to post.

I cannot believe the language and terminology used by some here to discuss their clients. Especially the female ones.

We work in a service industry . . . we are being paid by a client to help them create an event that they will enjoy.

Do I agree that some clients are overbearing and sometimes unreasonable?

Yes.

But instead of coming to a chat board and calling them bridezillas or bitches . . . I prefer to get to know them.

If you take the time to listen to your clients . . . you may actually be able to better serve them.

Just a thought.

~Amber
 
Ok, but Bridezillas is a pretty standard term, even among brides..... I never call them "bitches", though.... I'm with you on that! If I thought that they were, they never would have become my client.

Thanks Amber! Nice to see you here!
 
Amber, I've noticed over the years that DJ chat boards always turn into locker rooms, unfortunately. Locker rooms with guys who use locker-room verbiage. DJs tend to be male with the typical male locker-room LCD vocabulary. It would have been cool if ODJT.com would have bucked the trend, but I guess you can't change attitudes and biases over the short term.

Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Amber!
 
I always thought we were talking about dogs.
You mean this isn't Our Dog Jockey Talk?
Doh...





Seriously, great post Amber.
Zac brings up a point I've made before (maybe on another board...Diamond Jewelers Chat)...these boards can and do show up occasionally in search results.
 
Done correctly some "Bridezillas" can be the most interesting people to work with. Sometimes I think that some DJs don't like working with them because they challenge them to be better than what they really are

most of these clients just want something different
 
One of my clients actually said that she can be "bitchy" and that she was a bridezilla.

What she was was a micromanager. I dealt with that by convincing her to set her worries aside and let us take care of her day. She said that was the most difficult thing she has ever done but also the best thing.

She and her husband actually got to enjoy their day.

She's still a client and probably will be for life, but I am not going to depend on that so I'll have to make sure every event we do for her either meets or exceeds her expectations.
 
Amber Benning said:
But instead of coming to a chat board and calling them bridezillas......

If you take the time to listen to your clients . . . you may actually be able to better serve them.

Just a thought.

~Amber
Click to expand...


.....In regard to the Bridezilla name: Guilty as charged. However, that doesn't mean that I'm unaware that this is usually caused by a very nervous bride anxious for her special day to go off without a hitch- and terrified that it won't, causing her to act out, etc.........and that most here know that too.


I actually believe that we are in this business beause we LOVE it, and MOST of the things that are included. However, one of the great things about a forum dedicated to a specific profession is the ability to let your hair down with those who share your experiences. Thus, a LOT of what you read in regard to feelings toward clients is just venting steam after a rough run, or reaching out for support.....We don't really MEAN or BELIEVE bad things about most of our clients, we're just spouting off. In reality. I think that you'll find a group of true professionals on this forum, who DO take the time to listen, and ENJOY it, and put the information gained to the best possible use. The challenge of doing so is part of the joy of this job. The 100 watt smile on your face shows that you know what I mean.....:sqlaugh:

On the other hand, there ARE a FEW true stinker clients out there....:sqwink:

BTW Amber, I have read you before, and enjoy and learn from you. Less of a stranger please?
 
DJ Zac said:
Great point Amber... it comes back to something that's been written over and over again: Don't post anything that you wouldn't want a client to read BEFORE they sign a contract with you. If you wouldn't want a client to read it, then it probably shouldn't be written.

Just my 2 cents...
Click to expand...


Also dam good advice.
 
Well, Geeezzz...

ODJT should buck the trend??? How do we do that? If we let folks in here, we're surly going to get the type that uses the "terms" listed above.

Only thing we can do is continually "remind" our members... and it appears that Amber has done that. Thanks Amber... and the rest of you, let's be sensitive to Ambers concerns.
 
DJ Zac . . . Thank you . . . you totally get what I am trying to say.

Joe . . . Yes, this is a forum of peers, and I understand wanting to let your hair down. I guess I just think there are better ways to go about it.

Think about it this way . . . If I am a Christian and I go to church . . . I don't only act like a Christian when I am at church. I make decisions based upon my beliefs ALL the time. So if I am a professional in this business . . . why do I only act professional when I am at work?

This forum is an extension of our professions. We all come here to learn and enjoy the fellowship of people who understand what we go through.

I think there are ways to vent without being offensive. Whether that be venting about an event, another DJ or another board member.

And yes, I will try to be less of a stranger. :)
 
Tyrone Blue said:
ODJT should buck the trend??? How do we do that? If we let folks in here, we're surly going to get the type that uses the "terms" listed above.

Only thing we can do is continually "remind" our members... and it appears that Amber has done that. Thanks Amber... and the rest of you, let's be sensitive to Ambers concerns.
Click to expand...


Hi Tyrone . . .

ODJT is different already . . . there are people here that actually care about one another.

I really don't want anyone to censor themselves . . . I just want people to look at the things that bother them differently.

If you have a difficult client . . . find out why they want control over certain things.

For example . . . I had a client who wanted to choose her entire playlist . . . after talking with her I discovered the reason she wanted that control was because she saw a DJ who, in her opinion, played waaay too much country. So instead of needing to choose her playlist . . . all she needed was to know that I wouldn't play much of that particular genre.

Life is much easier if you are proactive when there is a problem.
 
Amber, I love you.

And, if I still cared, then I would be hounding you to join a certain army of DJ's, for your concern is exactly one of the reasons why the army was created in the first place.

But I don't care.

But I love you still!
 
I'm sorta on the other side of the coin here :)


Heck, there's a TV show called Bridezillas on WETv no less.

http://www.wetv.com/shows/bridezillas/

You should hear how us developers talk about you software customers, behind your backs :sqlaugh: :sqwink:
 
since that TV show came on the term Bridezilla, has become part of our way of life.

I too have had brides referr to themselves that way,,,, just means that they feel that they are more picky than what they think is the normal bride....

if we can't vent here, where people who understand what we are venting about, where can we vent?

Try venting to a non DJ friend and they think the worst,, if someone here makes a post, we understand what they are saying....
 
Good post Amber and I agree with the rest, post more, sometimes a womans perspective is just what us guys need. I had a bride who called herself a bridezilla. I just had to ask why she thought that.

Both mothers, hers and his were trying to get their way. The husband to be was on the road all the time and that left all the planning for her to do. Vendors were not getting back to her in a timely fashion. I was the last to be hired and by this time she was a bit frazzled. There are 3 things I tell brides/grooms.

1. We are planning this event your way so that the day of the wedding all you have to do is show up, eat, relax and have fun. I'll sweet the details.

2. You have invited family and friends that are important to you, its up to me to make sure they have a great time also.

3. To make sure the photographer and video are ready for the important moments. And to let them as well as the both of you know when its going to happen at least 2 to 3 songs in advance.

The event went great. She was still a nervous wreck when she arrived but thats where we step in as a calm individual to take control.

So Amber your right you really get to know them things turn out OK. I think I may have used bridezilla before not the other term. Thanks for the perspective Amber.
 
Yeah, but there is a differance...

Nothing wrong with venting. There is a professional way to do it, and an immature childish way. We all know how to vent properly... don't we?

I choose not to get involved with chastising a client. Sure, I've had some trouble makers, and I've told the story about it. I don't have a problem with the word "bridezilla" cause it's commonly understood to mean difficult brides.

I often hear folks calling a client a "bitch" or similar connotation referring to the bride. Why not just say "I had a very difficult bride tonight" instead of immature rants about the character of the person.

I understood Ambers comments... I'm sure everyone did. Being sensitive to her request isn't that hard to understand. As a group of educated mature professionals, we need to show others that we are different than the other boards. Isn't it gratifying to be on a higher standard than "the other guys"?
 
Amber Benning said:
1) I think there are ways to vent without being offensive. Whether that be venting about an event, another DJ or another board member.

2) And yes, I will try to be less of a stranger. :)
Click to expand...


1) I am in total agreement with you. I was just explaining the "why"'. You are correct, of course, and there really is no justification or professional reason for offensive posts. I, for one, will attempt a bit more thinking before posting. :sqembarrassed:


2) Glad to hear it!
 
If it's any help...

The forums here that receive most of the locker room comments are not available for viewing by guests, this forum included. That covers Google spiders doing webcrawls.

If you post in the Big Show and Debates, Ladies, Pub, Funny Farm and the associated child forums, only registered members will see it. (Only women will see Ladies). It won't be picked up in search engine results because the spiders can't access it. Dan and I worked this out so's we could have a balance between what we prefer the public to see and what we don't.

The general public doesn't typically see a need to log in and browse a DJ networking forum. That's why we offer the members only forums ~ a place for the folks who work in this biz to let their hair down and share experiences from out there in the field.

That being said, I tend to agree with Amber's opinion. Ever since I came aboard at ODJT I have tried to promote this site to the women in this biz. Women comprise a rather large segment of this business, yet are vastly underrepresented on the "other", mainstream sites. If we're gonna be different, that's one way to do it.

We've all taken a beating at the shows. Please, let's bear in mind that women see things differently. :)
 
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